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Posts from May 2016

Does Your Church Needs Rebooting?

Years ago, when I was in college and working at IBM as an intern, I learned much about personal computers and how they worked. I had to...job security. There were numerous times I would be called in by the executives in the building to come to their offices and fix their computers. The PC was still a fairly new machine and for a corporate culture that was built and relied on mainframes, learning the world of the PC was a shift for many long-time employees.

Nevertheless, I learned quickly that the first and often the best fix for the desktop computers was to simply turn off the machine, wait about thirty seconds, and turn it back on. The rebooting of the computer often reset the software and memory to a point that speed was regained and work could continue.

Computers have changed dramatically over the years, with the advent of smaller, more powerful microchips and, of course the move toward mobility with smart phones and tablets. However, even now, and maybe especially now, the simple rebooting of the machine is often needed.

On a Mac or Windows-based PC, the ability to "multi-task" by having multiple programs running at once is both a great help and at times, a great hindrance. Sometimes the computer (or phone) will slow down and cause the user great distress. Often this is remedied by closing programs that are open and running in the background. For the iPhone, it's a simple double-click of the button and a swipe of the app. It's simple, but does wonders.

It is my assertion that the local church can become much like these computers and phones at times. We, too, have many programs running. The larger the church, the more programs. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with these various programs, but over time, churches have shown a tendency to do more because it's the "right thing to do" but fail to increase resources to keep the work at a high level and productive. In computer terms, we are running more programs but have not added any memory, or maybe storage space, to the machine.

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And we become bogged down.

We are considering this reality here at our church, and it is illustrated clearly when I look at our planning calendar and see markings and events on just about every day of the year. Some program is doing something, somewhere, in the name of the church (or at least using the resources of the church.) 

I think it's time for a reboot.

It's almost impossible to truly reboot a local church, especially one that has property and has been in existence for decades. To turn everything off for a season will cause great distress. However, maybe distress is what is needed?

Ministry programs are good, but as the old saying goes "sometimes good is the enemy of best" and as many church leaders know, despite our best efforts, "sacred cows" tend to appear over time.

One pastor stated at a conference that "Sacred cows make the best hamburger." He elicited a laugh from the crowd, but most pastors just wondered how this could ever happen.

Summer is a good time to reboot.

For our church, the school calendar pretty much runs the family calendars of our community. Therefore, the eight weeks or so of summer become a down-time for many families (or a short-time in which to cram any vacations or get-aways.)

While we still have the typical summer events on the calendar (VBS, camps, mission trips, etc.) we are cancelling our mid-week gatherings on Wednesday evenings. Some are shocked because in the Baptist world, Wednesday is like "Sabbath, Jr." but truth-be-told, over the past three years, the attendance on Wednesdays has been so low, the people basically voted to not come, by...not coming. 

If I could, I would probably cancel everything except Sunday morning worship this summer. It would be risky because our church culture is so set, but I know a reboot is needed. 

What happens when you reboot?

For a computer, programs and memory gets reset. For the church, leadership should take the time set aside during the reboot to evaluate every program and ministry offered by the church. It is during this time that "sacred cows" can be put out to pasture. It is at this time the hard questions such as "Should we even be doing this?" should be asked and then when the church is turned back on...some of the programs don't reappear. In other words, some programs need to be uninstalled.

Most pastors I know would love to do something like this, but find each week to be jam-packed with meetings, study time, visitation, etc. and the needed evaluation and restart never happens. We're just too busy. That's the problem with a continually running machine. You are always working to keep the machine running.

Dangers

  • Finances may suffer. Here's a practical reality, if you reboot some programming, giving may suffer. Just because your church isn't meeting on a certain day (or days) does not mean the expenses cease. In a consumer-based culture where people pay for their luxuries and activities, the unfortunate reality is that some feel as if they're "paying for their spiritual fix" weekly. Therefore, the risk of losing offerings is very real. However, this should not drive the decision. Just be aware.
  • A good idea vs. a God idea. Far too many of us pastors read about what some other church has done and then attempt to do the very same thing. While what was done at another local church may have been God's perfect plan for them, it may not be for you. Therefore, rebooting your church over the summer or some other time may just be a "good idea" and not "God's idea" so tread lightly and pray fervently.
  • The congregation doesn't "get it." Just because something makes perfect sense to you as a pastor and leader, the fact is that most in the congregation are not privy to the inner workings of the organization and would not automatically understand. So, communicate clearly and do so over and over again, BEFORE pulling the plug.

Does your church need a reboot? Perhaps. If you're on the verge of personal burnout, there's a good chance the church is as well. So goes the shepherd, so go the sheep. Giving permission for people to slow down is not a bad thing.

Reminders

Even if you stop doing some church events, remember that the Great Commission and Great Commandment never get put on "pause." The church is not the building (we keep saying that even though we don't act like we believe it) so this may force leadership to truly equip the saints for the work of the church, in their families, communities, workplaces and even on vacation.

Oh, one final warning. Sometimes when I would reboot a computer, it would not come back on correctly. That was an indication that a more serious issue needed to be addressed. Is it possible to reboot a church and find some things not coming back online? I believe so. In these cases, church health is the issue and when you recognize a real problem, you're better positioned to deal with it. 

Okay. I'm logging off now. I think I need a personal reboot.


A Rite of Passage for Junior High Boys

Nine years ago a school administrator and two teachers began a mentoring club at one of our local junior high schools for boys, simply put, who had little to no father influence and were getting into trouble in class.  This administrator, John Green is the founder of the group and eventually became principal of the school. He is now serving on the leadership staff at Seamark Ranch, a local ministry with group homes for children in need.

The mentoring group continues to meet, and currently has chapters at three local junior high schools. Our clubs (RealStuff Clubs) focus on leading young men into REAL Manhood that…

  • Rejects passivity
  • Expects the greater reward
  • Accepts responsibility, and
  • Leads courageously. 

As a ministry of our church, we provide male mentors for these young boys. Our groups meet for one hour a week, prior to school in a room reserved on the campus. We abide by the law regarding student leadership and faculty sponsorship (Equal Access Act) to ensure no false allegations of “separation of church and state” have any grounding. We teach sessions on what it means to be a real man, using characters from the Bible and ultimately Jesus Christ as our perfect model.

Each year, as the culmination of our club meetings, we host a “Knighting Ceremony” where 7th graders are “knighted” into the journey of authentic manhood before their peers and family members. Each 7th grader receives a Bible as a gift. Our 8th graders receive the cross pendant from Band of Brothers ministry.

In the past, our mentors were the “knighters” and the presenters of the pendants. However, we now affirm that the ones who need to be doing this are the boys’ fathers (or grandfathers, or other significant male.) As mentors, we gladly stand in the gap for boys who have no father figure in their lives. Yet, for those with fathers, we focus on helping them learn how to do this vital rite of passage.

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So, this year, with over 250 in attendance (boys, parents, siblings, grandparents, etc.) our young men were charged with the code of being a real man, then their fathers were invited up to knight them (7th graders) or present the pendant (8th graders.) The fathers of 7th graders knighted these boys in the “name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit” and welcomed them into this fraternity called real manhood. The fathers of the 8th graders presented the pendant and then in their ear, spoke a word of blessing that included these key phrases “I love you! You have what it takes!” plus anything else they desired to say.

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It was a momentous evening and while it was focused on the boys, it truly was a night to remember for these fathers. For some, it was the first time they had spoken such words to their sons. Many had never heard their own fathers say such things. It was a divine rite of passage and we seek to provide support for them along the journey.

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Putting the Seat Down on the Restroom Debate

As you are most likely aware, a recent joint-action taken by the United States Department of Education and the Department of Justice regarding public school access for those students who identify as transgender to have access to the locker rooms and/or restrooms of based upon their gender identification rather than birth gender.
 
The edict passed down from our governmental agencies seeks to do what the US Constitution prohibits.
 
While this has been titled the "Wars of the Restrooms" it actually is much more than that. To politicize it as a restroom issue makes for ridiculous headlines and unfortunate protests via social media, that ultimately comes across as hate-filled (and in some cases, that's because they are hateful responses.)
 
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Photo credit: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/smartsignbrooklyn/10213630306/">SmartSignBrooklyn</a> via <a href="https://visualhunt.com">Visualhunt.com</a> / <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">CC BY</a>
 

We Saw This Coming

While many continue to debate the veracity of restroom usage, this hearkens back to a post I wrote in 2014 (found here) regarding the city of Houston's desire to subpoena pastor's sermons regarding LGBT activism and biblical truth. Of course, most recently, Houston had its own restroom agenda. I wrote of that last November here.
 
The stories about culture shifts in this area will not lessen. It was just last summer when I shared with a fellow pastor that the stories relating to LGBT rights will continue to grow, and impact the church. At that time, there was much about lesbians and gay men and some news stories related to bisexuals. I shared that the "T" in the acronym is going to head to the forefront soon and local communities and churches would have to address it. Of course, my statement related to weddings and premarital counseling and the needed question to be asked by pastors of couples going through counseling to be "Were you born the gender you now are?"
 
We are now at this juncture. The "T" in the LGBT acronym is front and center and the culture is weighing its response.
 
I have read numerous articles about the restroom issues, both from secularists and Christians. There are some who declare the expected boycotts and others to seek to lay the issue to rest and allow anyone to use restrooms as they desire. 
 
Pastor John Piper responded well when asked if he would use Target's (the company in the cross-hairs of the boycotters and seemingly taking the lead in the corporate world's capitulation to the gender revolution) transgender restroom (or gender-neutral restroom). He stated...
 

My answer is, If I were there and if I had to, I would — just like I would stop on the highway if I had to. But I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to. And the reason I wouldn’t is because I want there to be a small act of protest and life consistency that may have no impact at all on the powers that make such decisions, but that keep my conscience clear and acknowledge God in practical affairs and give a consistency to my life that does help overall in showing the way of Christ to the world.

And I would say just one other thing. I think we should spend most of our creative energies on constructing in our minds and in our hearts and in our families great and beautiful and glorious alternative visions of reality than the ones we are being offered by the world. If we give most of our time to bemoaning and criticizing the world for acting like the world, our vision of God and his glorious future for his people will become smaller and smaller, and that could be a greater tragedy than the one we are living in. (His complete response is located here.)

The School Restrooms

Now, the issue at hand. With the government's non-binding threat to local schools coming out publicly this week, school boards and school systems are scrambling to answer well. The Duval County School Board (the largest school district in my area - Jacksonville, Florida) has stated they will comply with the mandate. Of course, lawsuits are now coming from parents who disagree.

The Clay County School Superintendent (the county where I reside) has stated that they will NOT comply with the mandate. School Board members will be addressing this on Thursday of this week. They are now being inundated with comments and threats from those who are offended, as well as words of encouragement and affirmation. 

Truth be told, our county school leadership rarely has a meeting without controversy. There continues to be great division among many in our county for numerous reasons, but in this case, regarding the affirmation of the federal government's directive, I anticipate a unified front for the most part in pushing back and saying "NO." I would encourage all in our county who have strong feelings in this issue to attend the School Board meeting. I know many who are offended that the directive would be ignored will be there. Their voices are already being heard. It is the voices of the encouragers that are needed. Many who never engage in politics and civics should consider attending and simply, in a winsome (not hateful, or angry) way, state their affirmation for the Superintendent and the School Board membership who must stand united on this issue. Someone needs to be a Barnabas in Babylon.

At a time when administrative assignments are being made for the next school years, students are living in the post-testing time of the year and having parties in classes, honor societies are inducting new members, clubs are having end-of-year events, and some are preparing to walk across the stage wearing a robe and mortarboard, the schools are talking about restrooms. Because they have to do so! This issue is not just in my local community. It's in every American community, thanks to the recent edict.

Churches and businesses are already having to find ways to answer the questions. (And these are questions that no one ever thought would be asked.)

This will not be an easily answered question and I foresee millions of dollars spent in lawsuits and litigation over this issue in the coming months, and perhaps years. 

Yet, the camel's nose is under the tent.

And those who live with a biblical worldview see things unfolding as expected, though not enjoyed. While there is no going back, and honestly, we shouldn't want to go backward, the need for Christians who consistently see the world through a biblical lens (i.e. worldview) is vital. 

Love God. Love people. Love ALL people (love does not mean affirm). Make disciples.

While the debate rages regarding identity, I go to Jesus' words in Matthew 19:4 (ESV) - “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female."

Remember...it's really not about the restrooms, but in case you didn't know, I am opposed to the gender-neutral and gender-identified choice for restroom/locker room usage.

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firstFAMILY Podcast 015: Killing the One-Eared Mickey Mouse

Back in 1989, Stuart Cummings-Bond wrote in Youthworker Journal of the "One-Eared Mickey Mouse" that often develops within a church regarding student ministry. 

What is the One-Eared Mickey Mouse?

The premise is that left unchecked, the program model of youth ministry leads to an isolated entity with the thinnest of connections to church as a whole. This become a ministry silo (which I have written about here.) A healthier approach would find more overlap of the circles with intentional interaction and sharing of spiritual practices like worship.

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While student ministry often is the example used to describe this effect, the truth is it is not relegated to just ministry with teenagers. Any ministry within the church potentially can become its own "parachurch" ministry. This is often due to much weight being placed on the program model and the passion of those who serve within the ministry. For example, if John Doe serves in the intercessory prayer ministry, and has great passion for that ministry, there would be the natural tendency to elevate the prayer ministry over all other aspects of church ministry and opportunities. When this happens, a segmented leadership structure develops and an unintended "us vs. them" mentality develops which is evident in spiritual arrogance. You know, when only those who serve in "Ministry A" are considered to be really spiritual and doing something vital, while everyone else is missing out and living below the level of all that is holy.

Since Mickey's head is connected to his ear in this model at a very small, finely tuned point, it is very easy to be active in the "ear" and not be connected in the fullness of the church and its ministry.

This is poor ecclesiology and ultimately sinful.

And, just about every church of any significant age and size will inevitably drift here.

As our Leadership Team meets regularly to pray, plan and prepare (nice alliteration, huh?) we are more and more convicted of the potential for developing and even celebrating the "one-eared Mickey." Therefore, we must be strategic in our planning and more intentional in our practice to ensure this does not happen.

To declare our desire to have a family-equipping ministry means more than just saying "We're intentionally inter-generational." It means planning for opportunities where family members of all ages (and that's church family as well as biological and home-based families) to serve together, worship together, learn together, and grow together.

Perhaps one of the greatest divides in this era of legacy churches, church plants, megachurches, home churches, and all other models is the generational divide. When a segment of the church (defined by generation or age) is described as "those people" rather than "our family members" the divide is there.

By and large the "worship wars" of the 1990s and prior are over. The fact that "wars" were celebrated within the church is bad enough. The winner of the worship wars? Debatable, but likely not the church since division and self-centeredness tended to define the battle most accurately described as "The greatest waste of time within the church walls while the world kept on turning."

Yet, "Generation Wars" may be upon us...unless, we are proactive.

To ignore the "one-eared Mickey" is a recipe for loss. 

There are many resources available to help churches avoid this. One is Timothy Paul Jones' book Family Ministry Field Guide. I recommend it for all pastoral staff members (especially during the season of ministry planning and calendaring - which for us begins in August and ends in July each year.)


The Danger of Easy Christianity

On Sunday, I entered into a conversation with a good friend following the testimony presented by our church planting intern, Adam Wiggins. His story of redemption from a life far from God is inspiring and continues to impact many for the sake of the gospel. While talking with this friend, the discussion shifted to the failures at times we (the church and believers) have in effectively discipling new believers and worse, yet, offering a Christianity that is little more than a spiritual equivalent of joining a club.

 

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Photo credit: delete08 via Visual hunt / CC BY-NC

 

 

Author and speaker, Rosaria Butterfield shared in her story of change, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert, how becoming a Christian meant so much more than just "praying a prayer."

Making a life commitment to Christ was not merely a philosophical shift. It was not a one-step process. It did not involve rearranging the surface prejudices and fickle loyalties of my life. Conversion didn't "fit" my life. Conversion overhauled my soul and personality. It was arduous and intense. I experienced with great depth the power and authority of God in my life. In it I learned - and am still learning - how to love God will all my heart, soul, strength and mind. When you die to yourself, you have nothing from your past to use as clay out of which to shape your future.

Recently, on vacation in South Carolina, my husband and I went to a "community church." My conservative Reformed Presbyterian pastor and husband noted when we got back to the hotel room that we had just witnessed a service that contained a baptism without water, preaching without scripture, conversation about disappointment and pithy observations about financial responsibility without prayer, the distribution of flowers and trinkets without grace, and a dismissal without a blessing. Everyone was smiling, though, when it came time to walk out the door. This church's conversion prayer was printed in the bulletin. It read like this: "Dear God, I'm so sorry for my mistakes. Thanks for my salvation."

These misrepresentations of the gospel are dangerous and misleading. Sin is not a mistake. A mistake is taking the wrong exit on the highway. A sin is treason against a Holy God. A mistake is a logical misstep. Sin lurks in our heart and grabs us by the throat to do its bidding.

Strong words, but not wrong words. The problem presented is not the non-denominationalism of the community church. It's not in the methods, but ultimately in the lack of message. Easy Christianity is sold as an add-on to our already busy lives. It is a weak presentation of invaluable truth.

A.W. Tozer writes of this...

But now, after that ye . . . are known of God, how turn ye again to the weak and beggarly elements? Galatians 4:9

I am not in the business of trying to downgrade any other believer’s efforts to win souls. I am just of the opinion that we are often too casual and there are too many tricks that can be used to make soul-winning encounters completely “painless” and at “no cost” and without any “inconvenience.”

Some of the unsaved with whom we deal on the “quick and easy” basis have such little preparation and are so ignorant of the plan of salvation that they would be willing to bow their heads and “accept” Buddha or Zoroaster if they thought they could get rid of us in that way.

To “accept Christ” in anything like a saving relationship is to have an attachment to the Person of Christ that is revolutionary, complete and exclusive!

It is more than joining some group that you like. It is more than having enjoyable social fellowship with other nice people. You give your heart and life and soul to Jesus Christ—and He becomes the center of your transformed life!

Lord, as Your followers share the gospel around the world today, I pray that each hearer will have a clear understanding of the consequences of the decision they will make to either accept or reject Jesus. (from Mornings with Tozer)

Becoming a Christian doesn't need to be difficult in the sense we create man-made hoops which to jump through. However, Christianity is not simply the spiritual addition to our lives. It is transformational, life-changing, eternity-securing and is not formulaic, though the road maps to total surrender are revealed in Scripture.


A Swing and a Miss...When Your Church Strikes Out with Guests

First impressions in church are a huge challenge, mainly because you get only one chance to make it.

In established, legacy churches, it becomes even more of a challenge because we have to strategically and intentionally be thinking "What would it be like to visit our church for the very first time?"

This is a difficult posting to make, due to the reality that pastors and churches are not supposed to be this transparent on the internet. Websites, Facebook posts and Twitter updates are always supposed to be uplifting, encouraging and enlightening. However, sometimes, the cold, hard reality of church-life comes and to ignore it or sugar-coat it is to do more harm than good.

I received an email this morning from a family that visited with our church for the first time (and possibly the last time) yesterday. I responded with great appreciation for the honesty and asking permission to share this information with our Leadership Team and church membership to help us understand the value of first impressions. I was given permission, but have changed the name in the email because it seemed like right thing to do.

Ready? Here we go...

Dear Sirs,

My wife and I attended your church for the first time this past Sunday. Our intent was to attend the 9:15am service. We wandered into the main sanctuary. The worship team was on on stage. We picked a seat and sat down. We were the only ones in the pews. Obviously we felt odd. No one approached us to redirect us to the gym for the service. (Our 9:15am service is more contemporary in worship style, and meets in our Family Ministry Center/Gym. - DT) Two friends of ours that were also attending for the first time asked a man with a name badge what we should do. He explained that the 9:15 was held in the gym and pointed to it's location. He did not offer to take us there. Needless to say we wandered a bit until we found the gym. No one from the church greeted us. No one said "hello" or "welcome." We were handed a packet when we entered the gym. That was the only contact we had with any staff or volunteer servants. We stayed for the entire service and were rushed out afterwards to facilitate the next event in the gym. My wife and I are not baby Christians. We are searching for a church home that follows the Word without compromise. I really thought that your church was it. Sadly, we will not be returning. No one welcomed us. We felt like we were NOT welcome there...

Bless you, Steve.

I was heart-broken and frustrated when I read this email. Not because Steve would dare send it. I greatly appreciate the fact that he did. I am not really mad at those who missed opportunities. I am, however, frustrated because I know we know better. We know that guests do not intuitively know where to go on our campus (which is a maze, to say the least) and that missed opportunities remained missed opportunities. 

We know there is much to be done facility-wise here, but also in other areas, as some have called it "to friendly-up the church." 

Don't misread here, we do have a friendly church. There is great love here and people who would (and have) do anything for a brother or sister. This church has stepped out of our comfort zones over the years to strategically engage our community. Yet, even with great intentions and strides taken, we miss at times. And those misses hurt.

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Why is it a constant challenge? Because we (and I do mean we, not just others in the church) get busy, have our routine, go to our classes, sit by our friends and forget that just calling ourselves "family" doesn't mean we are.

I don't know if Steve and his wife will come back. I hope they do. Fortunately, they are believers and so we didn't create a barrier to their salvation. But...what if they weren't believers? What if this was the first time they attended church ever and only did so because of a family crisis, or because after years of being prompted by the Holy Spirit, they said "yes." 

Some will say "The ushers missed this" or "The greeters missed this" or "The staff missed missed" or any other group designated to say "Welcome" but the reality is that WE, the entire church, the entire family, missed here. 

Swing and a miss!

May we learn from this and seek to remedy an age-old problem. This is the good news - we can learn. We can do better. All churches can. 

No one wants to go to a church where they feel unwelcome or ignored. That storyline is played out and that must change. Not just here...but in all churches seeking to engage a lost world for the sake of the Gospel.

"A word to the wise is sufficient."