Christians, Pride Month, and the "Wrong Side of History"

The beginning of June used to signify the onset of summer, the end (or close to the end) of the school year, weddings, vacations, Vacation Bible Schools, summer camps, and other such events. Now, as you likely are aware simply because almost every major corporation has changed its social media logo, sports teams are selling specialized caps and t-shirts, and events, parades, and rainbow-themed gatherings abound, it is "PRIDE MONTH." It is a celebration of the self and it is global. 

Pride
Photo credit: wuestenigel on VisualHunt.com

"Summer of Love is Love"

The trajectory has been short comparatively. Perhaps 2021 marks the moment where Pride Month is now perpetually considered mainstream in the culture. No longer is the emphasis something an advocacy group celebrates on the sidelines of mainstream culture. Now, those who do not celebrate, affirm, and love the month of pride are pushed to the margins of culture. To speak against such events results in an online bashing where being canceled is the norm.

The often used phrase "Don't be caught on the wrong side of history" is bandied about and some actually believe it to be valid.

And the moral revolution continues forward...leaving Christians who seek to live holy lives, who view life from a biblical worldview, who dare to call sin what it is, while truly attempting to love people without affirming ungodliness labeled as outliers, haters, those whom righteous people should ignore.

All because they're on the wrong side of history.

Our current moral revolution includes much more than a celebration of LGBTQ+ lifestyles. Elements such as no-fault easy divorce, abortion on demand, a shifting of weddings from a religious service to a destination event complete with Bridezillas, the redefinition of family, acceptance of polygamous marriages, and the growth of polyamorous relationships (the word "throuple" now exists,) are just some of the players in this hyper-fast revolution that is changing everything. Even the English language apparently no longer has rules as plural pronouns are to be accepted as singular based on the desires and whims of an individual. Not that long ago the word "trans" was mostly not understood by many people. Now it has moved to the forefront of the alphabet soup owned by the LGBTQ+ community.

Condemnation to Celebration

Dr. Theo Hobson is a liberal Anglican theologian. He authored a book titled God Created Humanism: The Christian Basis of Secular Values. While I am not recommending the book and there is no doubt that Dr. Hobson and I would disagree on most topics, his concise definition of what must happen in order to institute a moral revolution is spot on. He states...

  1. That which was condemned in the past must now be celebrated.
  2. That which was celebrated in the past must now be condemned.
  3. Those who once condemned that which is now celebrated must now be condemned as well.

That sums up what is happening in our culture today. Some have asked me "How did we end up like this." I point to Hobson's three-step analysis as to the journey of shift. Ultimately, those who condemn that which now is celebrated (in the case of Pride month, that would be the LGBTQ+ agenda) must now be condemned. Thus...cancel culture.

Christians and Churches Will Not Get a Pass

It has been said by many in recent years, most notably by Dr. Albert Mohler of The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary that an answer on where an individual or church stands on the topic of homosexuality and the full gamut of LGBTQ+ relationships will no longer be avoidable, couched in grey, or ignored. Mohler stated in a 2014 article responding to a now former Southern Baptist church in California that affirmed LGBTQ+ lifestyles by declaring a "third way" that this reality is upon us.

The issue is now inescapable for every congregation, every denomination, every seminary, and every Christian organization. The question will be asked and some answer will be given. When the question is asked, any answer that is not completely consistent with the church's historical understanding of sexual morality and the full affirmation of biblical authority will mean a full embrace of same-sex behaviors and same-sex relationships. There is no third way, and there never was. (albertmohler.com)

Dr. Mohler is not the only one speaking on this subject from a biblical worldview. He is one of the few who does so with strong, conservative, biblical convictions that are not married to a nationalistic or anger-based viewpoint. Despite how some respond to him, his words do not spew hate, but clarity and espouse the grace and love God offers.

Sex and Bad Christians

Perhaps one of the most frustrating and debilitating realities among evangelicals (especially Baptists) in America today when it comes to holding firm on the biblical teaching of sexuality is that while the Bible clearly (I know some dispute the clarity, but I still hold that the teachings are clear) speaks in both the Old and New Testaments of God's design for his image-bearers and the value and purpose of God-designed sex and sexual relations, there are far too many evangelicals with platforms who heinously live double-lives. Whether it is the real and often unacknowledged sexual abuse that has taken place in evangelical and Baptist churches for decades by pastors and leaders or the very public sexual and perverted failings of celebrity Christians, pastors, university presidents, and Christian camp employees the public call to live moral, biblically holy lives, especially in regards to sexual ethics fall on deaf ears. Messengers who declare a message they personally ignore removes any power in the message for many. In just a matter of decades pastors and Christian leaders have fallen from listings of most admired and respected to the opposite. In many cases it is rightly deserved

What a fun era to serve in pastoral leadership.

Nevertheless, the call to live holy lives remains. This is not a call to live on a pedestal, looking down on others, declaring their sin worse than ours.  Yet, it is a call to fulfill the Great Commission and Great Commandment. To love God dearly and love others as he does, to not be silent when it comes to the gospel, to not forget that apart from the grace of God and salvation through Jesus Christ, regardless of one's sexual bent, lostness is everyone's lot.

Over the past few years, I have received more emails and phone calls than I can count from others who with family members who have come out of the closet, who celebrate Pride Month as their favorite time of the year, who in some cases have abandoned the faith of their childhood. Why do I get these calls? It's pretty obvious. Our family is in the story as well.

Some ask how they can love their family member without affirming their lifestyle. Some seek information on what to do to change their child or loved one. Many are broken and grieving and wondering what they have done wrong.

Each story is unique. Each is different because people are different and circumstances are different. Yet, in all the individuality in our world, here is what I know. God loves our loved ones more than we do. The answer is not a change in sexual orientation or beliefs about sexual identity. To change one's sexual urges (if they even can) but to remain separated from God results in an eternity separated from God. Thus, the answer is only Jesus Christ. Behavior modification never leads to heart transformation. Lifestyle changes do not lead to salvation. Christ alone is the key. He changes everything.

So pray and believe.

Those of us living on the wrong side of history know that "love is love" is little more than a declaration of self. It is a prideful statement and up until a few years ago the concept of "pride" was considered to be sinful (as it is, just read Proverbs 16.)

Now pride is something to celebrate.

Interesting.

It seems that Hobson was right.

No Avoidance of a Stance

Churches and denominations have been wrestling with their stances on sexual morality for decades. It has created division among many. Sadly, it seems that the United Methodist Church is next to face schism as the only think united about the United Methodist Church as a whole is the name and the trademark. It is a sad reality, but it is coming and the divide will land on the church's understanding and definition of biblical morality as it relates to LGBTQ+ lifestyles.

As individual Christians, a decision will have to be made regarding this as well. Oh, most have already made their decision, but there will soon come a day when it will have to be shared publicly. And even if you're not scared of homosexuality (i.e. not homophobic) you will likely be categorized as such if you do not publicly affirm the new chapter in the moral revolution. Unless of course, you try to toe the line to remain "relevant."

This will likely get me canceled by many, but toeing the line in order to be relevant by ignoring what the Bible declares to be true, just so you can keep your job, have dinner with your in-laws, be considered cutting edge, or not have your social media accounts censored or deleted will result in you perhaps being on the "right side of history" but on the wrong side of God's truth.

As challenging as it is here in the United States for evangelicals regarding the moral revolution, it is more so in other nations where speaking biblically as it relates to sexuality is considered hate speech.

So, if you just keep getting angry at all the rainbow logos that corporations are pushing, just remember that for the most part that is little more than pandering for the sake of financial gain. Business...as they say...is business. I don't like it, but those postings are often little more than attempts to appear progressive while living behind meaningless hashtags. 

In some cases it is more (as with Blue's Clues and the Pride Parade sing-along) but that is why we must we wise as serpents and innocent as doves. 

What Is a Christian To Do?

It is so simple that it seems like it is not enough. Love God with your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Love him with every ounce of such. Love him so much in these ways that your own personal behaviors and actions change because of him and how you live your life reflects that great love. In other words, be holy.

Love others as yourself. Love straight people, gay people. lesbian people, bisexual people, non-binary people, transgender people, whatever falls under the + people...all people. But remember, love does not mean affirm. That may be our biggest challenge. Love with an agape love - an undeserved, grace-filled, self-sacrificing, selfless, unconditional, non-behavior motivated love. 

Love them enough to show them Jesus Christ (the true Jesus Christ, not the Christ coopted by those who make him a political player who looks more like a cowboy than a shepherd.)

And believe God is sovereign, not shaken and will do what only he can do - rescue the perishing. Just as he did with you.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV)


Teenagers Need More Than the Coolest Youth Group In Town

A few weeks ago I was asked to lead one of our local junior high school's Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) huddle. 

What I love about these young people is that once they determined that being an athlete on a school-sponsored team was not required for attending the huddle, they began inviting fellow students and have played around with an alternate name for the club. While still officially a Fellowship of Christian Athletes huddle (and approved by FCA as an official group) these students will say that the "A" can mean athlete, academician, artist, or just anybody. To be honest, I like the name "Fellowship of Christian Anybodies."

I asked them to list some of the issues their fellow students were facing. We focused on the "other students at school" in that it is often easier for the students to share their own struggles when it is seemingly focused on what others may be facing. Believe me, everyone in the room knew exactly what we were talking about.

Every generation of teenagers has had their issues, their struggles, and their challenges. Just being a twelve to fourteen-year-old in a public school brings overwhelming challenges. Yet, this group shared things that were on such lists years prior.

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As the students began to share, the list grew longer and sadder. Here are just a few of the items I wrote upon the whiteboard as they shared.

  • Pressure to vape
  • Pressure to drink and do drugs
  • Pressure to have a "significant other"
  • Family issues
  • Struggles with being adopted
  • Parents divorcing
  • Bullying
  • Grades
  • Pressure from parents (to play sports, be in band, be on a travel team, keep good grades, get into the college of choice, get a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.)
  • Gender confusion and identity (LGBTQ+)
  • Sexual pressure
  • Etc.

Many of these items have been issues for decades, but some are moving up the list to be more prominent now. Others, like vaping, were not issues in years past because they did not exist. The stress of performance partnered with parental pressure and peer bullying is huge, and not only in-person, but also, if not more so, online and through social media platforms and oft-used apps by students.

I then asked the students what the answer was to all these issues and in typical fashion, from students who state they are Christians, "Jesus" was the answer given.

He is. He always has been.

Then I asked, "But do Christian students–those who have surrendered to Christ as Savior and have been transformed by the Holy Spirit–deal with these issues, too?"

Their eyes opened wider and it was an "a-ha" moment for many of them. They knew the answer was Jesus because in Sunday School, at youth group, at camp, and in most every evangelical youth gathering in our churches today they are taught he is. It is not that the answer is more than Jesus. It is not, but the realization that even being a Christian does not make them immune to such pressures seemed like a revelation to them. 

The bell rang. We prayed. They then went to begin their school day.

More Than Lock-Ins and Pizza Parties

As I was driving to the office following this meeting, I began to think about the youth ministry God blessed me to lead for many years here at our church. We filled the room weekly for our Wednesday worship. We would load the buses for trips to the beach, the theme parks, youth camps, and special concerts and events. We held DiscipleNow Weekends in homes where over one-hundred students paid to go "deep" in Bible study with guest leaders over a weekend. We held lock-ins (the absolute worst event ever devised for youth groups–designed to eradicate all sane adult volunteers in student ministry, IMHO) and concerts, game nights, competitions, movie nights, work days, matching T-shirts mission trips, and every other thing created by youth pastors in what I see now as the "golden age of big group youth ministry."

I planned these events. I enjoyed them. We saw thousands of teenagers over the years attend and many make life-changing, eternal decisions for Christ. 

These were good days.

But...there was always something missing. I could not put my finger on it at the time, but I knew we were just a degree or two off in our mission and our focus.

Perhaps it was the trickle-down effect of the church growth movement?

Perhaps it was the pressure to create the best youth experience in the city?

Perhaps it was always feeling the need to out-do the church down the street, or even worse, the youth event we held the previous month?

Hindsight is 20/20

I know young adults (and not as young as they think adults) now whom I was blessed to serve as youth pastor, who are walking with the Lord. They are serving him and his church. They are leading their own children well. Some are even serving in full-time ministry. There are many whom are considered co-laborers for the sake of the gospel.

Yet, there are many others who walked out of the church building after receiving the free book (they never read) and the "ConGRADulations" CD of Christian music when we recognized them as high school graduates. They seemingly left the version of faith they claimed to be true, impactful, life-changing, and important, back in the youth room, or in that dusty box of high school memories in their parents' attic.

I heard the very real issues and concerns shared by the group of teenagers I had the honor of meeting with last week. I think about the immensity of what they face. In many cases, their parents or guardians are feeling similar pressures. I know this is true because of the emails, texts, and direct messages I receive almost weekly from parents or guardians hoping I can give them practical, step-by-step answers for some of the most grueling issues their teenagers are facing. 

The answer is still Jesus. He always will be, but as these parents are recognizing, the very real and important need for growing as a disciple is not something that can be outsourced to a youth minister or a Sunday school teacher.

When I served as a youth pastor, I was satisfied living in my silo of youth ministry. I talked with and resourced parents as best I could, but ultimately, I was engaged with reaching teenagers. I would say that my intent was to reach them for Christ (and it was) but sometimes, it seems I was focused on reaching them for my youth ministry. Ultimately, we had hundreds of teenagers who joined a youth group, but never joined the church or God's family. Lost teenagers wearing Christian t-shirts was common.

This is changing as our church has moved to a model of student ministry (as well as preschool and children's) called Family Equipping (read more here.) The focus is less on the young person and more on equipping parents and guardians to be lead disciple-makers in their homes. Those who understand the value are praising this shift.

Others who simply long for their teenagers to be part of a large youth group so they can make great memories and do all the things their parents did a couple of decades earlier do not like this. Some have left our church. They have found other churches who provide the very same type of ministry that was so prevalent in the golden age. These are not bad churches. They are wonderful and God is using those ministries for his glory. It is just that they are functioning under a different model. I pray for them and their impact for the kingdom.

Since hindsight is 20/20, I now know that when our church functioned under such a model, we did a disservice to families and students. We settled for good, when God was calling us to better.

The bottom line is that teenagers who are struggling with their sexuality, their gender identity, the pressures to perform, the temptations to vape and other things, the stresses of family breakdowns, and the host of other things that end up on a whiteboard at a junior high school do not simply need the world's greatest pizza party, a sub-par event with dumbed-down inspirational "talks," matching t-shirts, or just someone to sit by in the church service.

They certainly need Jesus, but they also need a roadmap for next steps in their journey of life. Not only that, they need a guide to help them take those steps. Ideally, those guides are their parents. In some cases, they must be another (such as Paul became for Timothy.) 

It is essential that we equip believers well, for this generation and the ones to come.

May we never be guilty of outsourcing discipleship that is commissioned to us.

Oh, and by the way, I am not opposed to pizza parties, youth camps, mission trips, and DiscipleNow Weekends. I think these are all valid, good, and helpful. As for lock-ins though...they are of the devil, so no love for them.


"Holy Sexuality and the Gospel" by Christopher Yuan - Book Review

Years ago I met Dr. Christopher Yuan for the first time. I was at a denominational convention where he and his mother had a booth set up to promote their ministry and book Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son's Journey to God. At the time, I was intrigued by the brief introduction to them and their story. Little did I know that my wife and I would be experiencing similar circumstances when our son expressed to us that he identified as gay. It was during this time I contacted Christopher and invited him to speak at our church. All in our family were encouraged by his message of hope. Christopher shared his personal story along with his parents during our morning worship service. That evening he led two seminars related to Christianity, the church, and LGBTQ+ individuals. It was during his presentations that I first heard Christopher use the term "holy sexuality." He used the term in his first book as well. This term is more than just another evangelical buzzword. As Rosaria Butterfield has said, this term is "a concept that changed the paradigm of what it means to live out God's best for us."

Yuan book

Just a few weeks ago, I received an advanced readers copy (ARC) of Christopher's newly released book Holy Sexuality and the Gospel: Sex, Desire, and Relationships Shaped by God's Grand Story. I began reading and found myself highlighting phrases and paragraphs on almost every page. Dr. Yuan unpacks so much related to sexuality. While he addresses LGBTQ+ identifiers, his book is not focused solely on these. Sexual sin, whether homosexual or heterosexual is sin. Yuan states...

We cannot properly understand human sexuality unless we begin with theological anthropology. Anthropology, in general terms, is the study of humanity. Essentially, it's the human search to answer the important question Who am I?

All our thoughts and actions are influenced at some level by how we answer the question Who am I? This suggests a closer relationship between essence and ethics than many realize. The two inform each other. Who we are (essence) determines how we live (ethics), and how we live determines who we are.1

Dr. Yuan's solid emphasis on the gospel and identity as bestowed by God presents a firm foundation for the book. As an HIV+ man who had for years lived sexually promiscuous as a gay man, was a self-described partier and drug user, and eventually went to prison for dealing drugs, Yuan does not speak as one who views sin as superficial or overly-simplified. He writes and speaks as one who has been in the pit, experienced an undeserved rescue, and continues to live amazed at the grace and mercy offered from God. The main character in Dr. Yuan's story is not himself, but God. 

Some have declared Yuan's perspective on anthropology or ontology to be flawed. I have read declarations that he misuses data and scientific proof. Others who identify as LGBTQ+ see Dr. Yuan as a sell-out or a betrayer. The negative reviews of his books mostly feign to be intellectual analyses, but often reveal a personal vitriol against Dr. Yuan based on his current message and lifestyle.

Yet, for those who have actually read Yuan's writings (not just the two books here, but also his second book Giving a Voice to the Voiceless: A Qualitative Study of Reducing Marginalization of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Same-Sex Attracted Students at Christian Colleges and Universities) or heard him speak, it is clear that Dr. Yuan is not playing fast and loose with science, research, or historical aspects of biblical Christianity and sexual ethics. His revealed research and intelligent insight debunks any theory that he simply bases his beliefs on conservative, biblical talking points or Twitter-size hot-button phrasing. Does Dr. Yuan have a personal agenda? Absolutely. Every author does. Every Christian does. Dr. Yuan's agenda is not to harm others at all. His agenda is revealed in his writings clearly. It is simply to declare the message of the gospel well, unapologetically, without compromise, and fully in love. 

On a practical level, Dr. Yuan's latest book on holy sexuality should be read by any evangelical pastor seeking to minister well to those in the church or community desiring to better understand their LGBTQ+ friends and relatives without abandoning biblical fidelity. He addresses the reality of loving without affirming. For those who do not believe their friends or church families are impacted by this reality of culture, it is time to wake up. Many pastors would rather just not address these issues. Some who have done so end up doing more harm than good, that is certain. For pastors seeking to ignore the very real questions being asked by those self-identifying as gender fluid or any one of the many letters being expressed by the common LGBTQ+ identifier (or their loved ones) the fact is clear - you cannot remain silent. Your silence speaks loudly. 

Dr. Yuan's book is not only informational related to the biblical understanding of sexuality, but relatable, insightful, and practical. The included study guide provides real-life questions that can be addressed in small group studies. These all point to biblical answers and are firmly rooted in the gospel and a biblical worldview.

I agree with Rosaria Butterfield who stated in her review that this book is the "most important humanly composed book about biblical sexuality and godly living for our times."

I encourage every Christian with a loved one identifying as LGBTQ+ to read this book. I encourage every single adult Christian (heterosexual or same-sex attracted) to read this book to better understand the very real concept of holy singleness and holy sexuality. In addition to Dr. Yuan's clear and correct take on holy sexuality, his focus on the value and role of those whom God has called to singleness within the body of Christ is powerful and needed. He addresses head-on the idolatry that has overtaken some within the Christian church regarding the false elevation of marriage as essential for spiritual maturity.

Read This Book

There's more to unpack here, but for sake of space, I will end with "Read this book! It is needed and valuable."

The book is available at these sites and more: Amazon, Barnes and Noble,  CBD.

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1Christopher Yuan, Holy Sexuality and the Gospel, (New York: Multnomah, 2018), 9.