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How God Used Numerous Churches (Ours Included) for His Glory in Jacksonville, Florida

A number of years ago a friend serving as an interim pastor at a church in our city reached out to me to see if our church would be open to adopting this aging and struggling church. We met and after a few discussions with church members in the church we agreed to come alongside in a foster-church relationship. This allowed the church to remain autonomous, but gave the authority over to us regarding finances, special events, renovations, and pastoral leadership. It was intended to be a temporary relationship from the beginning with the understanding if at any point either church felt the relationship was not helpful, it would cease.

Truly, the smaller church was struggling in numerous areas. They had recently had a pastor forced to leave due to moral failure. Finances dropped. The property had been impacted by storms, with numerous trees down in their back lot among other things. A number of initial shifts were instituted to allow them to be better stewards of the small amount of finances available. With funds offered for the replant through our Florida Baptist Convention, more money and resources offered by our church, numerous steps were taken to renovate facilities, repaint the worship area, install computers and WiFi in the offices, trim trees, and a number of other things, the church's needed facelift was coming along.

Pastoral leadership was stronger as the pastor serving as an interim remained for a time before coming to our church to help with other campus launches. God provided a young man to serve as pastor of this replant quickly and solid, Gospel-focused, biblical preaching continued. God was doing a work here.

Change is never easy and as slowly as we sought to institute needed changes, there remained challenges. This type of shift is never easy and over time some tragic things occurred in the church family that made it even more difficult. The two persons of peace that were seeking to help lead the congregation into this new, healthy model were deacons in the church. These faithful brothers were God's men for this church at this time. Yet, one was tragically kidnapped from his own home, thrust into the backseat of his car as the thief sought to escape police. Tragically, the chase ended in a car wreck and our deacon died days later. Our one remaining deacon in the church later succumbed to cancer. This grievous time was deeply felt by all and without these lay-leaders in the family keeping the focus on what we were seeking, it soon became clear that our partnership was no longer welcome.

Someone in the church family contacted an individual who would represent the congregation and ultimately asked us to leave. We did. It saddened me and hurt our campus pastor greatly. Yet, it was clear God had closed this door for our partnership. Thus, we dusted the sand off our feet and walked away.

Then, one month later in March 2020 the world shut down. 

The church hired an interim who is a godly man. He served them well, but would not stay long as he would be transitioning to seminary. Since the demographic of the remaining church membership was older, when other churches were beginning to meet in person again, they could not.

It saddened me to think that this church would do exactly what I had warned them they would eventually do if nothing changed. They would close their doors and a gospel witness would be removed from the Mayport area of Jacksonville, Florida.

Yet, a number of months ago I heard that a sister church in our city, River City Baptist Church led by Pastor Bryan Samms had been contacted by this church. They were desiring to give their property over to RCBC so that a new work could be launched there. River City Baptist Church was connected with this closing church after Bob Bumgarner of First Coast Churches was contacted. The smaller church had come to the point that Ed Stetzer and others often speak of—when the pain of change is less than the pain of remaining the same. Bob Bumgarner was able to connect the church with Bryan Samms and River City Baptist. And...as they say, the rest is history.

I was amazed. Bluntly put, I was shocked. 

This was what I had prayed would happen. I contacted Bryan and told him a bit of our story (the good and the challenging) and told him how excited I was for them. I truly believe that God used our time with this church to prepare them to be ready for what now is finally happening. Our church has no connection with the new work, other than as a sister church seeking to see God move greatly in our city.

But here's where it gets more incredible. The church planter who is launching this campus that will become Hope Church Mayport went through Send Network Assessment with us earlier this week. He and his wife are gifted, called, and the right people for the time. I am so glad to see what God is doing in the Mayport area.

So, what was Oak Harbor Baptist Church will be Hope Church and God is doing and will do a great work in the Mayport area. I'm humbled to think that God used us, even in a small way, in this great story.

(L-R) David Tarkington, Annie Chan, & Aaron Chan

I implore you to pray for Pastor Aaron Chan and his wife Annie. Pray for River City Baptist Church and Pastor Samms as well. 

I am thankful for our network in this area, First Coast Churches, our Florida Baptist Convention, and our relationship with Send Network that reminds us that we don't pastor alone, we don't plant alone, and we don't serve alone.

Starting Adult Groups in a Family-Equipping Church

Our church's shift toward a family-equipping model of disciple-making has been challenging, but worth it. While we continue to have preschool, children's, and youth ministries (as well as other specific ministries for people) our focus has been to be less about each group individually and more about strategically equipping families to make the home the center of disciple-making. Of course we work to provide for Christian parents/guardians to do this well and for those families where there are gaps and the youngest in the family are the only Christians we stand ready.

One of the most challenging aspects is the paradigm shift required from members and guests who have for decades attended family-based churches. This model has been the primary one in American evangelicalism since the 1950s and focuses on providing ministries to each age group based on development and interest. The big difference is that over time, families have attended church together, divided by ages, and left the disciple-making to the Sunday school or group leaders and ultimately have outsourced a responsibility to be led within the home to the "professionals." 

This programmatic system has been effective and during the height of the church-growth movement, it was the most common seen in churches of various sizes. Yet, most common and most effective are not always synonyms, much less most biblical.

As we have begun this shift, a new understanding of our roles as ministry leaders has grown and families have embraced it by and large. Nevertheless, it is very difficult to change one's way of thinking, grading, and evaluating success.

Beyond "Amen, that's a Good Idea"

Now, we are beginning our first strategically-focused family equipping adult group. This group (e.g. Life Group, Small Group, Sunday School class, etc.) will meet weekly as do our other groups. Yet, the group leaders here will work hand-in-hand with our youth minister and children's ministry director to help equip parents in the group learn biblical doctrine and truth and ways to implement disciple-making strategies (such as family worship, spiritual conversation, Bible study, etc.) within the home. It is a grace-focused group intent on developing personal relationships that are deep with others who are working through the same life-stages of their children.

What this means is that some of our current groups will likely have people leave to join this new one. Eventually, all our groups will move toward a more healthy, strategic, disciple-making focus. This, too will be a shift, especially for group leaders and members who have done their classes the same way for decades. It also shifts group expectations reliant on a pre-published weekly curriculum (in addition to the Bible.)

Change for the sake of change just creates confusion. Change for strategic, biblical, strong, and right reasons are...well, a pain, too, but worth it.

__________________________

More posts on Family Equipping here:

• The Family Equipping Model is Right. It's Biblical. It Just Doesn't Market Well for the Church Consumer.
• When Your Youth Group Functions As a Parachurch Ministry
• Why "Family-Equipping Discipleship" Is Needed Now More Than Ever (And Is Better Than What We Grew Up With)
• When Parents/Guardians Are Equipped to Lead Their Children Biblically

When Parents/Guardians Are Equipped to Lead Their Children Biblically

Years ago our church made a shift in how we approached age-graded ministry. It is not that what we were doing was bad or sinful, but our convictions revealed that a change was right.

We began shifting from a family-based ministry strategy to a family-equipping strategy. The big differentiator is that within the family-based model the church provides age-focused ministries for everyone and ultimately separates many family members when gathered together for Bible study or worship. This is not necessarily wrong as many like me, grew up in churches that implemented this strategy. The downside is that parents and guardians are rarely strategically led to be the lead disciple-makers of the children within their home. The default is to basically outsource that biblical process to the teachers and leaders of the local church (e.g. Sunday school teachers, youth ministers, children's directors, etc.)

The family-equipping model seeks to come alongside parents and guardians with the intent to lead and enable them to be the lead disciple-makers in their homes. They are then equipped to lead home worship, Bible studies with their family members, and ultimately to be able to share the fullness of the gospel message with those within their homes. Of course, there are families where parents or guardians are not believers and the members of the church then fill that gap, but otherwise, we come alongside parents in this role rather than usurping it completely.

We knew it would be a long transition and this morning I received an email from a former church member who has relocated to another state. While he and his wife were in our church they were blessed with a son and as is the case in many churches we had a parent-child dedication service for them. We began shifting that recognition as well years ago. We now require parents to attend a class that explains the importance of raising their children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord." Then, rather than have a child dedication, we truly have a parent dedication before the church family. It is a special time.

One thing that I present to the family that day, besides a Bible, a book for parents, and a certificate (these are traditional gifts, but good and we believe important) is a letter. This letter is in a sealed envelope and has the child's name printed on the front. The letter is written by me to the child and is intended to be saved until that day when the child surrenders his or her life to Christ as Savior. We are praying for this child to become a Christian and that is part of the church's commitment to the parents.

This morning I received the email from Jay regarding his son's recent surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord. He gave me permission to share it here:

Pastor David, 

It has been a while since we last spoke. I hope this email finds you well!

 

I am writing you to share the most wonderful news that Jennifer and I were able to have conversations with our son Cooper about Christ and his sacrifice for us and what it means to have a relationship with him eternally. Cooper then asked Jesus to be his Lord and Savior. 

 

I want to thank you so much for your leadership at FBCOP (First Baptist Church of Orange Park,) for without that, and the meticulous family equipping model, I don’t think I would have been able to talk with Cooper like that. The intentionality of that model equipped Jen and I to feel confident to share our testimony and help lead Cooper to Christ. (This happened on my birthday, I don’t think I’ll ever get such a wonderful present!)

 

I know we have moved from the area, and probably will not ever be back in the North Florida area again (we are loving the small town Muskogee, Oklahoma life!), but I will forever be grateful for your leadership, because I can now call my son Cooper my brother-in-Christ! 

 

Tonight we showed him the letter you wrote to him when we dedicated him in 2013. It was so special to us and to him, and he was able to see the full circle of dedication to salvation. 

 

I thought I would share with you some pictures of our special day. 

 

I will always continue to pray for you and FBCOP. God is so good!  

 

Jay Fuller

Photo by Jay & Jen Fuller

This email did find me well, to say the least. I was overjoyed to read this and to see the pictures of Cooper. I am so impressed that Jay and Jen were able to keep that sealed letter this long (I guess I'm saying, I would have misplaced it by now.) Nonetheless, this is amazing and while it took years for this process in Cooper's life to come to fruition, I am so thankful that his parents were able to have these very important spiritual conversations with him. This is why we shifted to a family-equipping model. Mom and dad did not have to call the pastor at the church to have this vital conversation with their son. They were equipped by God to do so and I believe based on what Jay wrote, our church played a small role in that.

The Fullers are active members at First Baptist Church of Muskogee, Oklahoma where Kevin Chartney serves as Lead Pastor. I am thankful for faithful, gospel-centered churches like this where we can be confident our former church family members are able to join and serve when relocating to a new home.

Dave Paxton's List - "101 Things In Student Ministry (To Do & Not Do)"

On Monday we gathered to remember the life of our dear brother and long-time minister of the gospel Dave Paxton. Dave had served over forty-years in student ministry in churches from Tennessee, Texas, and Florida. Over the years he impacted thousands of students and adults for the sake of Christ and he is dearly missed. A few years back he told me about one of the conferences he led at the Conclave in Chattanooga, Tennessee. This annual conference for student pastors draws thousands and Dave's breakout titled "101 Things in Student Ministry (To Do & Not Do)" always filled the room. 

He shared this list with me. Of the items on the list, he experienced many of them, but a few were collected from other student pastors over the years. What I do know is that each is true and not just a made up illustration. And...as you read them, you too may be saying "I want to know the story behind that one." Sorry, I don't know the stories, but i do have the list. Enjoy.

1. Love students. Work to build an atmosphere where students love one another, their families and those in need.
2. Contact students. Contact students on a weekly basis. Seek ways to do this.
3. Live expecting God to work supernaturally within the students and yourself—fulfilling God's vision for the community.
4. Know Christ. Invite every student into a personal and transforming relationship with Jesus Christ.
5. No animals/pets/reptiles may be brought along or purchased on trips.
6. It does not matter how great a communicator you are or how awesome you are at hanging out with kids, if you cannot administrate the daily needs of the ministry. If you cannot do these administrative tasks parents will not trust or respect you to take care of their students.
7. Do not just randomly show up for a prepackaged summer camp without first being sure that you have the dates correct.  (A youth minister in our area arrived at BigStuf in Panama City Beach with his students on a bus. The camp staff stepped on the bus to welcome them searching for their church name. They could not find the church name on their list. The youth pastor made a joke saying "Wouldn't it be funny if we are here the wrong week." They checked the camp database. Sure enough, they were scheduled for following week. BigStuf worked it out. Fortunately for the youth pastor.)
8. Never talk about church members to other church members unless you know them well.  You never know who is related or good friends.
9. Be careful about contacting parents about a student’s choices or lifestyle.  Have a rule of thumb and use much discernment and wisdom in knowing how to proceed.  Do what is responsible...but maintain ministry options with the student if possible.  (Some new guys are too quick to overreact - I was.)
10. Never host a Christian rap group for a bunch of white, preppy, rich kids.  It just does not work.
11. Bad volunteers are hard to get rid of.  It is better to take the time and make sure you have the right person for the job on the front end.  It is easier to have never enlisted them than to have to "fire" them later.
12. Don't just show love to and befriend the popular kids.  Do what no one else is doing and reach out to those who are tough to love!
13. Don't mess with the pastor's kids...just let it go.
14. On trips–Don’t ever allow girls and guys in rooms together...anywhere, anytime.
15. Always be sure that you have checked out the people involved with you and your ministry. No exceptions.
16. Plan ahead….far enough ahead to get the word out. Last minute stuff usually stinks.
17. Once you set a ground rule for trips….don’t blink!
18. Never be alone with a student, use the two adult rule.
19. Never punch a student in the face in front of a deacon.
20. You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.
21. Be sure the work you are doing for God is not hindering the work of God within you.
22. People are more important than programs. Remember the value of relationships.
23. Treat youth with respect and kindness. Someday they will be adults, who are treating youth the way you do.
24. Take a serious approach to your ministry, but not to yourself.
25. Cultivate flexibility and a willingness to change. Avoid the “concrete syndrome”.
26. Be Patient. God can use time, people, and new beginnings to cure a lot of ills.
27. Take care of yourself and your family or risk losing your ability to minister to others.
28. Invest in a support group because you will need to make a withdrawal when times get tough.
29. Care for and affirm your adult workers. They will stay with you longer.
30. Equip youth and adults to take ownership of the youth ministry. Use the “BEST” approach to developing leaders.
31. B - BELIEVE in them
32. E - ENCOURAGE them
33. S - SHARE with them
34. T - TRUST them
35. Make yourself more available and approachable.
36. Spend more time nurturing and supporting Sunday School.
37. Pay more attention to parents of youth.
38. Devise strategies for enabling youth and adults to take ownership of the youth ministry.
39. Avoid requiring volunteers to do anything. Instead, ask them to make a commitment to a set of expectations.
40. Invest more time in equipping adults to equip youth to reach, teach, care for, and minister to their peers.
41. Learn to care for, instead of ignoring or getting rid of troublesome people.
42. Deacons are not your enemy. Be careful about jokes pointed their way. Develop positive relationships with them.
43. Senior adults can be a major support group. Set an example of showing love to senior adults. You will be one someday. Oh…and by the way……they have a lot of scholarship money available for students. Enough of the “Blue Hair” jokes.
44. If you cannot fully support your pastor, get out.
45. Have frequent meetings with the pastor.
46. It is YOUR job to communicate with the church your successes and goals. Teach the church to respond to kids who don’t look like the rest of the church.
47. Parents are the number one influencers in the faith development of a teenager. It is not your job to disciple them, but to equip parents.
48. Don’t expect what you don’t inspect.
49. "Whatever else you do, if you do not take kids to the cross frequently, nothing else matters." - Dawson McAllister
50. Ignore your baptism numbers and they will decline.
51. Connect with a local network of youth ministers, even if you get nothing personally from the relationships.
52. You are not the hottest thing on the block and the former guy was probably not a ditz. Not everything he did needs to be done away with. Build on it.
53. Insecurity is a very poor motivator and a terrible way to run a ministry.
54. Old guys in ministry made a lot of mistakes before you came on the scene. Learn from them.
55. The five “W’s” (who, what, where, when, and why) are important on every advertisement. Remember them. Too many flyers with inadequate information are sent out every week by student ministries. It makes you look stupid.
56. Do not accept cash or registrations from students. Have a drop box. One of our staff lost a student’s registration in his own pocket.
57. Clearly communicate expectations to parents and workers.
58. Too many rules create a legalistic ministry. Too few create one that is out of control.
59. Trust is a wonderful thing. Set proper boundaries, but operate on a beginning of trust. Students respect that.
60. Have medical consent forms on file for any out-of-town trip.
61. Hall walkers (adults who do little else) at youth camp allow you and the volunteer staff to head to bed at the end of the day at camp. They free you up to get much needed rest and help assure volunteers for next year. Hall walkers get everyone in bed, and make sure they are up the next morning. They sleep during the day.
62. If you can let someone else drive, do it. Spending time with students is more important than driving.
63. Don’t assume anything on contracts with bus companies or retreat facilities.
64. Be careful with a cash drop in the sanctuary. Kids will kill each other to grab a dollar bill.
65. Always proofread everything.  There is a difference between Proverbs 3:5-6 and Philippians 3:5-6.  (the latter was proudly displayed on a t-shirt for one of my D-Now weekends)
66. Do not keep the pastor in the dark about youth events.
67. Do not serve chili dogs early in a lock-in.
68. Carefully word your announcements when you get the microphone in big church.  “The big girls retreat” is not as effective as “the girls retreat for everyone.”
69. Do not try to be someone you are not, in order to “fit in” to the youth culture.
70. Do not discipline the whole group when it is just a few who are at fault.
71. Do not speed in a church van.
72. Do not speed in your own car with students on board.
73. Never watch a rated R movie with a student, even if it is only rated R for violence.
74. Do not get naked with the kids, even as a joke.
75. Do not cuss in front of the kids no matter how bad you mashed your finger or stumped your toe.
76. Never reserve spots for kids for a camp or retreat without payment in advance. People who don't pay, don't show!
77. No matter how much they loved, trusted and respected your integrity and abilities at your last church, none of that is transferable. You start from scratch at a new church. (Hard lesson)
78. When a student asks you to pray for them, do it then! Take their hands, standing in the middle of the hallway and pray. An immediate response shows you care, and too many adults say “I’ll pray for you,” yet never do.
79. Don’t allow coed seating on long bus trips – especially on long bus trips during the evening hours. And spread your leaders out on the bus.
80. Going along with the above, don’t think just because they are a minister’s son on your staff that they can be trusted. I caught one of our minister’s sons making out with a girl at about 3AM one morning on the bus.
81. While at camp, if rooms have fire extinguishers, do not forget to make an explicit rule that they are not to be messed with or used unless a fire actually exists.
82. Going along with the above, once again, don’t think just because a student is a minister’s son on your staff that they can be trusted. One of our minister’s sons and some of the boys from another room decided to have a fire extinguisher fight in their room.
83. While on a student trip and you are running low on gas, don’t think that you can make it to the next gas station. Stop while you can. Five minutes invested can save an hour on the side of the road.
84. Do not just take any sponsor that wants to go with you on a trip. Pick and choose your sponsors carefully and with great wisdom.
85. Do not ever be shocked at what you may see or have to deal with while at camp or any other student outing. And don’t let it flavor the entire event.
86. Do not ever forget that what you are doing matters and does make a difference in young people’s lives.
87. Do not make promises to students that you cannot or will not keep. They never forget.
88. Do not be so quick to think the grass is greener somewhere else. There is great blessing and satisfaction in longevity in student ministry at one place. I am celebrating my tenth year this month at our church and it has been a huge blessing to see students who have come through our ministry and grow into some of the godliest young adults I know.
89. You cannot take the credit or the blame for student ministry until you have been there more than three years.
90. When you first go to a church, there will be some upperclassmen who may never follow your vision. They are still mad the last guy bailed out on them (their perspective.) Love them anyway. You may win a few, but for some, you will just have to outlast them. 
91. Do not become a full time minster and a part time follower of Christ.
92. Do not send out a poll to get information. They always come back split.
93. Do not believe that everyone is against you just because you have a few loud complainers.
94. Do not believe everything your biggest fans have to say about you.
95. Do not speak badly about the person who had the position before you. Build a relationship with him. He can become a great friend and resource.
96. Do not forget to celebrate with your volunteers and staff.
97. Know that if you are leading well not everyone is going to like you.
98. Do not let your boss be caught off guard by an issue or problem in your ministry.
99. Do not give up your day off.
100. Do not forget to date your spouse.
101. Do not finalize your youth calendar unless your wife approves it.

Wise words from a wise man.

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. - Proverbs 19:20

Talking Honestly & Biblically with Children About Death

When death impacts our families the forced reality of explaining the feelings, emotions, and reality of death with children moves to the forefront for many. Those who do not have decades of life experience have many questions and often they go to their parents, older siblings, grandparents, or other trusted adult for answers.

But what do you say?

How do you talk about death with a child? What should you say? What should you not say? How can you soften the blow? Should you talk about it all?

These and other questions often come up and to be honest, how we talk to children about death is insight as to how we deal with it ourselves as adults.

There are numerous resources available and dozens of websites with good insight. Many say similar things and some give great advice. I am writing this article specifically because our church family is reeling through the very real grief of the death of our recently retired associate pastor Dave Paxton. Dave was killed in a motorcycle accident earlier this week and while retired from full-time ministry at our church, he continued to serve students and children here. His connection with children in our Wednesday evening programming where he planned games and activities has left many children asking their parents to tell them what happened to "Mr. Dave." 

We actually canceled our mid-week gathering this week to enable parents and leaders to process better their own grief (not that they are over the death at all) to better be able to talk with their children.

We will be collectively grieving for some time and individuals will be as well at different rates and in different ways. But regarding the kids, here are some of the points I think need to be addressed when parents and leaders seek to discuss death with them.

Be Clear and Specific

Sometimes when we talk with children we tend to use euphemisms like passed away, gone home, transitioned, passed on, and more. Many do this when talking to adults as well. In fact, I had an adult tell me they did not want me to talk of their loved one dying, but to say he passed away. This is confusing for children and can be unhealthy for adults who often appear to be doing anything they can to avoid addressing the reality of death. The Bible speaks of death clearly. How we discuss death impacts how we understand life, the life offered through Christ that is abundant, free, and eternal. So, be specific and use the words death, died, and dying. 

Be Brief

Don't answer the question not asked and do not fall into the trap of long exposition when a simple, clear, brief answer is sufficient. Lori Wildenberg mentions the need to be concise especially if a loved one dies after being ill. Do not simply say "He died because he was sick" or you may unintentionally lead the child to fear that he will die when he gets a sore throat. Lori says "If the person was sick say, 'She was really BIG sick. Not regular sick (sore throat, flu, cold).' If the death was due to disease, name it. 'She had a disease called cancer. The cancer made her body BIG sick, not regular sick.'"

Prepare Your Child for the Funeral

If you bring your children to the funeral, and if it is a funeral with a casket, prepare them for what they will be seeing. Say something like "When we get to the church or funeral home you will hear people crying. You may hear some laughing, too. You will hear a lot. You will also see [loved one] in a box. That's a casket. It will look like she is asleep, but she's not. We will sit and the pastor will speak and we will either sing or hear songs. We will talk about God and about [loved one] and share some great stories together remembering how much we loved her." Of course, the details may be different, but preparation can help much and can help you when you are being inundated with questions from your child about all that is happening. 

Most people do not attend funerals often and so preparing your child for what is to come will help them process what they are seeing and hearing. Children at different ages will process the entire event differently. Know your child and talk plainly. Be prepared for questions and tell him you will talk more after the service. 

Should you take your child to the funeral? 

I've been asked this often and it is a great question. Parents are concerned about what their child can handle. For very young children (preschoolers and younger) they likely will not understand nor remember much of what is happening. I personally believe that school-aged children should attend, but each parent knows their children well. 

Your Grief Can Help Your Child Grieve

You don't have to run to another room to cry just because you don't want your child to see you being human. You likely have questions. You may be dealing with deep areas of grief. Your child is not your counselor, so do not lean into making them codependent. However, when you are crying because of the death of a loved one, cry. Let them see you cry as that will eliminate some of the lies our culture propagates about who can cry, who cannot, and how we must grieve. 

Your child will likely be experiencing grief as well and they may have feelings and questions that come to mind that from a child's perspective make sense, but you know are not true. They may feel confusion or even guilt or fear about death. Sometime a child will blame themselves. "Maybe I caused [loved one's] death?" You can address those fears and questions honestly. Talk with your child about their emotions. It is best if you don't seek to numb yourself by hiding your feelings but talk honestly about how they are feeling.

Children Process Grief Differently

I do not mean they process differently than adults, which likely they do. I mean that children process grief differently from each other. You may have more than one child and one may be responding with questions, being more talkative than normal, crying for long periods while the other may seem silent and stoic. God wires each of uniquely in his image and for His glory and while your children may share DNA or be raised by the same parents, they are not clones. Respect and recognize this. Sadly, I have no "Do this and everything is good" instructions, but being aware is a wise start.

Tell Them the Truth

Christ said "Let the little children come to me" and our faith conversations should not wait until our children are in high school. Talk about God's perfect plan and about how sin entered the story. Share how death was not in God's plan but is a result of sin. But don't stop there. Share about our great God's love for us and his plan for rescue. Your children may not be processing all that God is doing in this, but trust God who loves your children more than you do to give you the words they need to hear. Trust Him to speak to them well and lovingly. Just tell the truth and do so in love.

You Don't Have To Have All The Answers

Your child may ask "Why?" a lot when discussing the death of a loved one. You may not have an easy answer to the why questions. Don't pressure yourself to have the answers. Sometimes you just have to be honest and say "I don't know." Yet, as a Christian, be sure to state that you trust God to help.

Maturation

I found these descriptions on a Hospice website and while the site is not Christian in nature, the developmental information for children and grief may be helpful. Nevertheless, understand the unique bent of each child and realize that these descriptors may vary. Here are the points made.

INFANTS can grasp that the adults in their life are sad or angry, but cannot understand the concept of death. 

PRESCHOOLERS may see death as a reversible, non-permanent event and may invent magical theories as to what causes death and what is related to the dying process.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN understand the permanence of death and understand the correlation of events that lead to someone's dying. However, death is often perceived as an event that solely happens to other people.

MIDDLE SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN have a full understanding of the physical aspects of death and its finality; however, some abstract concepts surrounding death and dying may be beyond their reach.

HIGH SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN have a full understanding of death and dying, its finality, and the impact of a death on the lives of themselves and others.

God sees you. He knows your suffering. He understands your pain. He loves you and he loves your children. Don't shirk the responsibility of talking about the reality of death. May that talk lead you to a deeper discussion of what life truly is.

Giving to Your Church or Other Non-Profit Through a QCD

We have many in our church family who are retired or at an age where retirement is on the horizon.  The faithful, generous givers in our church family continue to seek wise ways to continue their contributions to our church and other non-profits.

My friend and member of our church, Chris Daunhauer is a financial advisor and has written this article to help people understand the concept of Qualified Charitable Distributions (QCDs) and how these may lower one's taxable income. I am thankful for the wise counsel offered by Chris and his simple explanation. I am providing some links to various organizations that may offer additional helps as well.

QCD Explanation and Encouragement by Chris Daunhauer

If you are charitably minded AND you have to take required minimum distributions (RMDs) from an IRA or 401(k) because of your age, then you should consider doing at least the first portion of your charitable giving via QCDs (qualified charitable distributions) directly from your retirement account.  QCDs lower your adjusted gross income (and your taxable income) and they may reduce your future Medicare premiums and the taxability of your Social Security benefits.

QCDs have become more popular since the 2018 tax code changes. 

The doubling of the standard deduction that year has dramatically reduced the percent of taxpayers who itemize.  It’s dropped from 30 percent of all returns down to only 10 percent.  If you are in the 90 percent who do not itemize, your charitable giving no longer has any impact on the amount you pay in federal income taxes.

But….if you’re a retiree who must take required minimum distributions every year (you’re an IRA or 401(k) account owner who is at least 70 ½ years old), there is a potential work-around.  The tax code allows you to donate some or all of the annual distribution from your retirement account directly to charities of your choice (up to $100k per year).

When done correctly, a qualified charitable distribution (QCD) satisfies the IRS rules for RMDs, and does so without that distribution being added to your AGI or taxable income.  And, because your AGI is lower, Medicare premiums and the taxability of your Social Security may be lower as well.  You pay no taxes on the portion of your RMD given to charity, and you can still claim the full standard deduction elsewhere on your tax return.

A QCD can help keep your charitable giving fully deductible regardless how high the standard deduction is.

QCDs offer surprising flexibility. You may split your RMD into multiple parts–some to yourself as taxable income for your own needs, and some directly to your favorite charities through QCDs.  You can also give to multiple charities in a single year, and, if you prefer, you may make your QCD gifts to charity anonymously.

For most retirees, most of the time, doing as much of your charitable giving as possible via a QCD is better than taking your RMD as regular taxable income and then writing checks to your favorite charities from that income.

First Baptist Church of Orange Park already receives QCD donations from some in our fellowship, and our financial secretary can point you to more information on this method of giving.  You can also contact your IRA or 401(k) custodian, your tax preparer, or financial advisor to learn more. QCDs are easy to do, tax smart, and fully recognized by the IRS.

Additional Links:

https://swbts.plannedgiving.org/secure-act

https://www.samaritanspurse.org/our-ministry/ira-retirement-account/

https://www.gowestwood.org/ira-distribution/

https://baptistnews.myplannedgift.org/give-from-your-ira

https://www.fbc-h.org/transfer-ira-money-to-charity/

https://www.shades.org/give/ira-distribution

https://www.abhe.org/ira-charitable-rollovers-qcds-rmds/

https://www.nobts.edu/development/default.html

https://www.txamfoundation.com/News/A-Gift-That-Can-Lower-Your-Taxes-Without-Itemizing.aspx

"When the New Wears Off" - A Reality of Church Planting

I have the great privilege of working with church planters in our city and throughout our state. I call these men front-line servants as many have stepped out in faith to launch and lead a local church that only previously existed in the mind of God. The endeavor requires faith. It calls for risk (though some do not like to use that word.) It is not easy. It is not supposed to be easy. Yet, it is right.

Welcoming new churches in a community, especially one as fast-growing as ours, is a bit of a challenge for many legacy churches and established pastors. Try as we might, there is this sense of competition that often rears its head. As a long-time pastor of a one-hundred year old church (no I'm not the planter who started this church) it requires constant focus to remember that kingdom work is something I have been invited into, and the kingdom is not mine. Thus, newer churches in our community where the number of residents continues to increase should not be considered a bad thing. This is why I intentionally work with planters, seek to help them find sending churches if that is missing, and coach them through our local association of churches and our Send Network. If I simply ignore the need for these new works, I know what I will do. I know me. I will drift into a small kingdom mindset that focuses solely on the "success" and vitality of the local church where I serve. Now, I should be focused on these things, but tunnel vision will develop and I will cease to see how God is at work in our community. I do not naturally drift toward Kingdom-mindedness. I must intentionally move there.

Thus, I get to spend quite a bit of time with pastors launching new churches. Some are further along than others. Some struggle with common realities. Whether it is the gathering of the right people for the right roles in launch team or securing a facility to gather, stressors exist. 

I believe there may be more resources now than at any time in recent church history. The movement of church planting and the similar movement of church revitalization have led to the development of many helps for the fledgling pastor.

I will meet with a cohort of planters this week. It will be the final meeting of our group. These men are planting churches throughout the state of Florida and due to the great diversity of our state, each church looks different from the others. Each church's community is unique and context is varied.

The church planting factory is running 24/7 now and experts abound. Yet, once you get beyond the practical helps, the templates, the "you have to do it this way" instructions, and all that comes after being labeled a church planter, the long, tedious, hard work remains.

And eventually...the shine wears off the new toy.

It is in these moments when the church planter looks around realizing that no one wants to set up chairs any longer. The volunteers who loaded and unloaded the equipment are tired. The smiles are forced on many faces. The hours of preparation to preach the Word seem never ending. The post-sermon self-grading is horrendous because as much as you want to be Barnabas for others, you aren't for yourself.

I love church planters.

I hate seeing them struggle.

I love church planters.

I hate when godly men who are not qualified nor called think their church planters.

I love church planters and their families.

I hate when their families suffer and the home life is not joyous.

Eventually, the shiny newness of the plant will dull. What then? There is this moment in all organizations when the question of "Are we going to keep doing this or is it time to quit?" has to be asked. Rarely is quitting the right thing. It is sometimes, but I lament when the towel is thrown in too early.

This is why sending churches and church plants must be truly connected. There must be a true relationship and not just a money funneling relationship. I fear that even some sending churches find themselves "collecting" plants for the purpose of sharing how "missional" they are, but are not truly engaging the new works well.

I have failed in far more ways as a sending church pastor than I care to share here. Yet, I know that we (our church particularly and all sending churches) must do better. 

And it is not all on the sending church. Church planters need to give permission to others (mentors, friends, fellow pastors, etc.) to speak into their lives in honest ways. The church planter needs to remember that he is not God's answer to the lost and dying world. He must remember that God is not in heaven saying "Whew! I am so glad this guy became a church planter. He can finally fix all that the other churches throughout history have done wrong." (I'm being facetious, but it is a good reminder.)

When the new wears off...if the church is God's intention, if the planter is qualified and called, he must press on (not out of guilt, but through the strength of the Spirit.) He must persevere and remember he cannot do it alone. The same is true for the sending or legacy church pastor. It is not like the older guys are not guilty of workaholism and believing everything must go through them. 

We need each other. It is God's intention that we do not do life alone. Even Paul had partners in ministry throughout his missionary journeys. Throughout history, there have always been "one anothers" in the gospel stories.

The "new" will wear off. There will be days when ministry is not fun. We know this, but when we experience them, we often wonder if it is worth the effort to press on.

It is.

Oh, and you can take a day or two (or more) off. I hope my wife doesn't read this because I'm not good at doing this, but I know it is right. And if you have brothers in your city whom you trust, that pastor nearby, who love you dearly...you will have someone who can "fill the pulpit" for you every so often. 

 

Facing the Reality That Your Church Has Changed

"Your church is perfectly positioned and staffed to reach a people who no longer exist."

I first heard a Christian leader make that statement about fifteen years ago. His point was that often churches of a certain age find themselves overwhelmed by decades of programmatic, event-driven, historically successful strategies that were not and are not necessarily sinful, but over time become ineffective. Thus, your church may still be filling its calendar with elements designed to reach...people who are no longer in the community or attending the church.

Change Leads to Pastoral Frustration

I have discovered that I often do not think the way other pastors of churches think. This is not because I have some secret knowledge others do not or some insight that others have yet to gain. It is because I am weird. Yep, that's it. I tend to ask questions that others never consider and I just do not know better than to ask. Sometimes, I am like that four-year-old who responds to everything his parents say with "Why?" or the even deeper question of "But...why?"

It can be frustrating and I'm sure my frustration frustrates those who are part of the church I serve.

Yet, I still ask the questions. 

I still wonder why we do things we do. I wonder why things are the way they are. So I ask.

I do my best to look toward a place that is truly impossible to see - the future - to hopefully get a handle on trends and cultural shifts so that we as a church can be positioned well to present the never-changing, life-redeeming message of the gospel to the yet unreached.

"This is Not Your Father's Oldsmobile"

Now this dates me and those who are not at least fifty-years-old likely have no idea what I'm referencing. Yet, I'll attempt to explain.

Back in ancient history the company known as General Motors produced a line of vehicles under the brand name "Oldsmobile." Oldsmobile was positioned in the auto industry to reach a specific target market. 

At one point, Oldsmobile was focused toward an older demographic. Eventually, the market-share shrunk and GM was basically competing with itself (since Buick and Cadillac also targeted the same group.) Thus, in the mid-1980s Oldsmobile began running an ad campaign under the by-line "Not your father's Oldsmobile." The commercials featured actors who had starred in older television shows or movies along with their adult children. I remember ones featuring William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy of "Star Trek." They were in the cars with their respective children and the adult children were shocked at how sporty the new Olds were. Thus..."This is not your father's Oldsmobile" was then stated and plastered on the screen.

It was catchy and creative. Apparently, not enough though as the Olds brand was soon discontinued. Yet, that phrase stuck with me and in church life where the retirement of long-dead programs and outdated emphases remains, the marketability of "This is not your father's church" seems to resonate.

Of course, when I speak of this type of branding and marketing of the local church, I am not speaking of the abandonment of timeless truths, the value of the Lord's Day, the doctrines that define us, or the inerrancy of God's Word. Those and other vital elements of who we are as Christians and our message are timeless and never change and should never be tampered.

Yet, as most of us who grew up in church know, there are elements that were used by God for a season, but the season ended. In these cases, change has to happen. Otherwise, the church ceases to to be faithful to the calling God has given and ends up existing in a form that exists solely for itself.

Some struggle with this reality, but it does not make it any less true.

Many of our Baptist churches in need of revitalization or replanting now have faithful remnants of brothers and sisters in Christ serving and seeking to survive in their communities. Yet, even by their own admission, walking into the church is like stepping back in time. Back in time not to a moment of biblical focus and holiness, but just back a few decades to a time when said church was reaching its community and had more people in the gathering.

And Then...The Pandemic

There has been much written for many years regarding contextualization and the changing landscape of church planting, sustaining, and community engagement. Then COVID-19 hit and suddenly what smart people said would happen within the coming decade occurred within a span of weeks. 

Churches who refused or never thought seriously about online streaming, online giving, or online anything were reevaluating their strategies. Pot-luck meals went the way of the buffet restaurants. BST (Baptist Standard Time) for all meetings, services, Sunday schools, etc. was erased. A year's worth of events and programming disappeared. And...many pastors and ministry leaders whose job description and in some cases personal identities were defined by what they do (or did) rather than in who they are began to struggle. All the "Ministers of..." and "Associate Pastors to..." that were tasked a certain age group, ministry element, or program found themselves wondering what to do since their gatherings and programs were gone. Of course, this is an over-simplification as pastors and ministers truly focus on people, but it is easy for one to slide into busyness and tasks. It happens to all of us at some point, I guess.

Suddenly, discovering how to connect and reconnect became paramount. How to "do church" when how we "did church" was unavailable. The longing for "getting back to normal" began to be shared. And now, despite the delta variant, many churches are back to meeting in person. Programs are rebooted and structures are being reset. But...in many cases, the church has changed. In some cases it has been dramatic.

A great crowd for many on a Sunday gathering is very much smaller than pre-pandemic. A shift has happened. Now, we must adjust.

This is not your father's church...and it's not even the church you attended pre-pandemic in some cases.

When I arrived at our church to begin serving in pastoral ministry our community was much different. It was 1994. The population was smaller. The number of homes within a drivable distance was much less. Average incomes of those living near our church was significantly higher than now. There were fewer schools, fewer churches, and much history to preserve.

It is now 2021 and as I stated to our congregation a few Sundays ago - we cannot pretend that we are the church we were when we were the only conservative Baptist (or evangelical) show in town. Our mission field has changed and in some cases, we have pretended nothing has happened. A new coat of paint on a wall does not fix long-deferred maintenance. 

There is no going back, but there is a way forward.

We cannot simply ignore the mission field that exists in the present, pretending we are who we were in the past (with the numbers in the room we had at that time and the budget we had then) and be faithful to be who God has us here to be right now.

Reality Checks Are Good

So, let's just be honest. People ask me how many members we have at our church. I normally answer "I have no idea" but I do know on the books we have about four times as many "members" as we do who attend and participate in ministry. This has been the case for decades yet has been exacerbated due to our pandemic-infused online only era of church gatherings. Thus, we have bogus numbers. And our church is not alone. 

Numbers are our friends, but only if they're accurate.

Can the brand of our church survive a dose of reality? What if we begin to admit our church is not as big as it used to be, or as big as the church down the street? What if we actually look in the mirror and see who we are, then look out the window to see who really lives nearby. If we continue to seek to reach people who do not exist we will ultimately be successful in reaching nobody. 

Change is a pain. I don't like it, but it can be helpful.

Ignoring reality is a sign of pending death. I am thankful for who we really are (and for who really is in the room - or online) and believe the never-changing God has kept us here for his glory and ultimately for our good and our community's good. Rear view mirrors are great, but there's a reason they're smaller than the front windshield. 

Maybe you needed that reminder as well. God is sovereign and maybe he has been shrinking our imagined crowds of self-defined "Gideon's army"  to those who are truly disciples and will be used for the work ahead.

High School Graduate Recognition in a Family Equipping Church

It is spring in an almost post-pandemic year and high school graduation in our county is tomorrow. We have received graduation notifications in the mail, invitations to family-hosted celebrations, and some neighbors have the now common-place signs in their yards stating that a graduate is in the house. Social media feeds are full of memory photos including many reenactments of those "first day of school" pics from kindergarten with the now adult-looking child holding a sign that says "last day of school." In our county, public graduation ceremonies are back on, without masks even. It is almost like it used to be prior to COVID-19.

Churches are having their annual high school graduate recognition time. For some churches this involves having the students march down to the stage in their respective caps and gowns. A brief introduction will be made to the congregation stating who the student is, from which local school he/she is a graduate, and sometimes future plans are shared as well. It is a nice stroll down memory lane for those in the church who actually know the students. 

What To Do For Graduates At Church?

Most often the church will acknowledge the achievement of graduating high school. Then a gift is given to the students. Many times the gift is a book that, to be honest, we know will never be read.  Many students will just pack the gift in the box with the rest of their "high school memories." There was a season when our church would give a compilation cassette tape or CD (FYI - cassette tapes were small plastic reels of magnetic tape containing recordings of music. CDs were round, reflective discs that could hold music, videos, and data. These were played in the dashboard audio systems of Oldsmobiles and Pontiacs or on the Gateway personal computer in the home - if said computer had a CD-ROM drive. For information on Oldsmobile, Pontiac, or Gateway, search the items on Google.) of Christian music to graduates. 

It is a special day for the students. It is likely more monumental and special for the parents of the students.

Pastors and church leaders often struggle with what to do for high school graduates, especially with the understanding that the Lord's Day worship gathering is to be just that, a focus on the Lord. Holidays and special events (Mother's Day, Father's Day, Memorial Day Weekend, Independence Day, Arbor Day, etc.) often create great confusion, and anger groups of church members when what is expected on a particular Sunday morning is seemingly ignored or not prioritized. 

So, what do you do with high school graduates on the Lord's Day?

If you take the entire service honoring graduates is that not a problem for a church commanded to honor God alone?

If the focus is on the accomplishments of the seventeen and eighteen-year-olds in your fellowship, is that wrong?

If you totally ignore the fact that some in your fellowship have just graduated from high school is that ignoring the context of your culture?

What about those students who really never come to church, but their parents or grandparents do? So, on high school graduate recognition Sunday there is a teenager standing before the congregation who is not only not a part of the fellowship, but is unknown to most but those who are related to him? Does that graduate get the "free gift" too?

What about students who joined the church and attended worship, but never attended any student ministry activities, events, or trips? It is often the student pastor leading the recognition. It is awkward, but does that student count? Or...should that student count more because she was part of the church and not just part of the student ministry?

Over The Years, I Have Learned...

After thirty-plus years in full-time pastoral ministry here is what I have discovered and recommend regarding high school graduation and church:

• If you recognize graduates on Sunday morning, some will love this. Others will be angry.
• If you do not recognize graduates on Sunday morning, some will love this. Others will be angry.
• I don't believe it is wrong to recognize high school graduates. You may disagree, but I'm writing this blog and that is my opinion.
• Graduates are not excited about the gift the church gives them (for the most part.)
• Just because most graduates may not read the gift book you give them does not mean you should stop giving books. Books last. Books are good. Good books are great. If you give them a book, don't waste money on a "Promises for the Graduate" book, but give them one that speaks of identity in Christ, life in Christ, proper doctrine, and truth. Self-help books (even Christianized ones) are not worth it. They may not read it...but they may and it is best to offer a timeless work than a pop-Christian-psychology-you-have-what-it-takes manual. Oh, and even if they have a Bible, a new Bible still a good gift. I actually still have the Bible my church gave me in 1986 when I stood in front of our congregation as a graduating senior. Thanks Davis Boulevard Baptist Church (now CrossMark Church.)
• No graduate should be given the microphone and asked "What do you plan to do for the rest of your life now that you are an adult?" Don't do this to a student even if they have thirty honor ribbons and everyone knows they've been accepted to the most prestigious university around. Why? Because there are likely students standing next to them who are just really glad they have graduated high school and are unsure of their next steps. It is a recognition for all graduates, not just the valedictorian-level students. The school's awards ceremony is the place for acknowledging those academic accomplishments.
• You will have students show up for graduate recognition that you cannot ever remember seeing before. So, if you have a gift for others...have one for them. This "who gets recognized" issue is no hill to die on.
• Don't make participation in youth ministry activities and events the litmus test for being recognized on Sunday.
• Regarding the sermon - preach the gospel. This should be understood, but Sunday's sermon should not sound like the secular "Believe in yourself" or "Follow your heart" drivel offered at many commencements. In fact, if you are preaching through a series, stay in the series. It is a clear reminder that while you are acknowledging the accomplishments of your now young adults, the church gathered is focusing on God's teaching from God's Word for the day (just as you do every Lord's Day.)
• If you are recognizing graduates do so as a church, not as a student ministry. 
• Consider a post-service or pre-service fellowship with graduates and their families. Or, do as we did for years, have a drop-in graduate recognition party for all your graduates. This will provide space and fellowship for all your graduates and that way when families are calling the church to reserve the fellowship hall for their graduate's party, you can say "We do this for all our graduates on ______ day. You're welcome to participate." It will keep church members from trying to hit every party in town and will provide a celebration for those students whose parents may not schedule such an event. And...for families who want their own...they will do it anyway.

The Big Shift for Graduates & Parents - The Family Blessing

Moving to a family equipping ministry as a church has been challenging, yet fulfilling. I have written about this philosophy of ministry prior. You can read about it here.

Since the church is helping parents, grandparents, and guardians of children and teenagers to be the point of the spear when it comes to discipleship, we believe it is imperative that our recognition of graduates moves beyond the traditional presentation of students and a gift from the church during a worship service.

The family blessing is a milestone that cannot be replaced by a church event. The words of a loving parent (or guardian) spoken publicly to a young man or woman will be remembered much longer than any words spoken by whomever was chosen to give a speech at the high school graduation. The blessing is biblical. It is intentional. It is public. It is spoken. It is right and holy.

And...for many parents, it is frightening.

It is most frightening for those who fear standing in front of or speaking in front of a crowd. We understand that. In those cases, we stand with the parents, we provide mentors, we even will read the blessing of the parents upon their child for them if needed.

We will see this play out on Sunday here at our church.

We have just a few graduating seniors this year, but they will be recognized. During the early part of our worship service, these students will be brought to the front of the congregation (wearing their respective graduation regalia.) They will be introduced to the congregation. Words of encouragement and challenge will be offered by the pastor or student pastor. Then, their parents (or guardians/mentors) will come stand with them. The microphone will be given to the parent and he/she will speak a blessing upon their now young adult child before the fellowship of believers.

This is a milestone.

Some may call it a rite of passage, but it is more than that. It is the loving parent's words of blessing upon a child who is stepping into a new chapter of life.

It will not be easy for all. Some parents may struggle with finding the words. In some cases, the wounds between parent and child make this even more difficult. Yet, even then, we believe there is power in the biblical blessing within the fellowship of the redeemed. Since we are intent on equipping parents, we help them with this. We make this step doable. We are equipping parents to bless their child even if they have never experienced this in their own lives.

And with this...an added on recognition to a worship service becomes a time of redemption, calling, blessing, challenge, and will shift from being solely about the graduate and more about God and all that he desires for the future of this person. 

To God be the glory, may we do this well.

And...congratulations graduates!

"Gospel-Driven Ministry" by Jared C. Wilson - Book Review

There are a few authors who are on my "buy the book as soon as it is available" list. Jared C. Wilson is one such author. His books focusing on the gospel and specifically on church and ministry leadership are golden. Most recently, he has released a book titled Gospel-Driven Ministry: An Introduction to the Calling and Work of a Pastor. At first, I thought this may be a restructured or rereleased version of his book The Gospel-Driven Church. It is not. This book is focused more on the qualifications of the pastorate and the focus on gospel-centrality in ministry. (BTW - The Gospel-Driven Church is a must read as well.)

I mentioned recently to some peers that Wilson's latest book is one I wish I had been able to read decades prior. The insight into the joys and challenges of pastoral ministry is so valuable. However, to be honest, even if this book was available a few decades prior, and even if I had been given it by a trusted pastor, and even if I had read it...I likely would not have been able to digest the depths of truth offered in needed and beneficial ways. The arrogance of my youth would have left me with a book full of highlighted phrases and healthy insight, but most likely not as impactful in my life and ministry as needed.

Nevertheless, I now have a stack of these books in my office. I have the honor of working with many church planters and new pastors in my city. Often over coffee or when meeting with one of these young men I give them a copy of Jared's book along with instructions to read, highlight, and think deeply on the insight offered. I am believing these men are more mature in their walk and less arrogant than I was at their age. I also have come to grips with the reality that I have shifted into the role of "older pastor" whom others believe may have some wisdom to offer. I may not have wisdom...but I do have a listening ear...and a free book by Jared C. Wilson.

What I love about Jared's writing is his clarity and boldness in declaring truth while also inviting the reader into his own stories of victory, pain, and pastoral calling. Jared writes about authentic situations and not just about ideal circumstances. He has a way of explaining the very true, challenging, fulfilling, and at times painful realities of serving as a pastor of a church while also seeking to be a godly husband, father, and friend. He reminds the pastor reading that church life is messy at times, but so very worth it as God is glorified when the gospel is central. I find myself reading through the book and pausing to say "Yep, that's true." It may not be new news, but it is comforting to know that the issues I face are not special, but are similar to what all pastors face (though certainly the context and circumstances may be unique.)

This book is a good read for all Christians, but a must-read for pastors and ministry leaders. The practical insight offered through easily understood story-telling, with real-life illustrations and stories remind the pastor/shepherd that ministry faithfulness is less on doing everything, but trusting that Christ has already done everything.

Being driven by and centered on the gospel is freeing and Wilson's writing is a breath of fresh air in an age of church-centered stress.

Here are just a sampling of quotes that I highlighted as I read Gospel-Driven Ministry. They're "tweetable" but ultimately are worth more than likes on a social media post. The wise will take these to heart:

• "A call to pastoral ministry is the inclination to conform one's desires and direction to the aspiration of shepherding a church. it must not simply be a desire to preach." (p. 17)
• "The pastorate is not a right or an entitlement. The pastorate is a sacred stewardship reserved only for the qualified, called, and commissioned men." (p. 24)
• "If we do not preach Christ from the text, we are not preaching a Christian sermon." (p. 37)
• "Ask yourself this: Could this sermon be preached in a synagogue? A Mormon temple? A Jehovah's Witness kingdom hall? Each of these religions affirms the moral uplift of the Scriptures. Each of them uses the Bible to make inspirational, spiritual points about doing god to others and honoring God. But the one thing that we have that they do not is the gospel. It is the gospel that chiefly distinguishes Christian preaching from unchristian preaching." (p. 65)
• "Do not preach an illustration in search of a text." (p. 95)
• "The heart of ministry is a heart that doesn't see people as the interruption to your ministry, but sees the interruptions as the ministry." (p. 121)
• "Worse than an unfeeling, uncaring pastor is a sullen, whiny, sad-sack pastor." (p. 145)
• "Be transparent. Be honest. Don't just share the what; explain the why." (p. 160)
• "It may sound noble and godly to keep convenience store hours, but it's a fast track to physical exhaustion and gradual resentment of the flock." (p. 201)
• "I used to think pastoral ministry was about helping people live. Then, I learned it was actually about helping people die." (p. 217)
• "You are not ready to shepherd until you have been spiritual discombobulated by the gospel and essentially reconstituted by the gospel." (p. 226)
• "Christian ministry is the overflow of the mystery of God in Christ coming to bear on your soul and, through yours, on the souls of others." (p. 227)

Certainly, it is clear by now. I highly recommend this book. Buy it. Read it. Highlight it. Thank God for the insight. Then, give a copy to another pastor or ministry leader. They will thank you for it.

And...in case you, like me, are now one of the "seasoned pastors" in your community. Read the book. Put it on your shelf. Then, in about a year, take it off the shelf and reread it. You will thank Jared for this.

Teenagers Need More Than the Coolest Youth Group In Town

A few weeks ago I was asked to lead one of our local junior high school's Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) huddle. 

What I love about these young people is that once they determined that being an athlete on a school-sponsored team was not required for attending the huddle, they began inviting fellow students and have played around with an alternate name for the club. While still officially a Fellowship of Christian Athletes huddle (and approved by FCA as an official group) these students will say that the "A" can mean athlete, academician, artist, or just anybody. To be honest, I like the name "Fellowship of Christian Anybodies."

I asked them to list some of the issues their fellow students were facing. We focused on the "other students at school" in that it is often easier for the students to share their own struggles when it is seemingly focused on what others may be facing. Believe me, everyone in the room knew exactly what we were talking about.

Every generation of teenagers has had their issues, their struggles, and their challenges. Just being a twelve to fourteen-year-old in a public school brings overwhelming challenges. Yet, this group shared things that were on such lists years prior.

As the students began to share, the list grew longer and sadder. Here are just a few of the items I wrote upon the whiteboard as they shared.

• Pressure to vape
• Pressure to drink and do drugs
• Pressure to have a "significant other"
• Family issues
• Struggles with being adopted
• Parents divorcing
• Bullying
• Grades
• Pressure from parents (to play sports, be in band, be on a travel team, keep good grades, get into the college of choice, get a boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.)
• Gender confusion and identity (LGBTQ+)
• Sexual pressure
• Etc.

Many of these items have been issues for decades, but some are moving up the list to be more prominent now. Others, like vaping, were not issues in years past because they did not exist. The stress of performance partnered with parental pressure and peer bullying is huge, and not only in-person, but also, if not more so, online and through social media platforms and oft-used apps by students.

I then asked the students what the answer was to all these issues and in typical fashion, from students who state they are Christians, "Jesus" was the answer given.

He is. He always has been.

Then I asked, "But do Christian students–those who have surrendered to Christ as Savior and have been transformed by the Holy Spirit–deal with these issues, too?"

Their eyes opened wider and it was an "a-ha" moment for many of them. They knew the answer was Jesus because in Sunday School, at youth group, at camp, and in most every evangelical youth gathering in our churches today they are taught he is. It is not that the answer is more than Jesus. It is not, but the realization that even being a Christian does not make them immune to such pressures seemed like a revelation to them. 

The bell rang. We prayed. They then went to begin their school day.

More Than Lock-Ins and Pizza Parties

As I was driving to the office following this meeting, I began to think about the youth ministry God blessed me to lead for many years here at our church. We filled the room weekly for our Wednesday worship. We would load the buses for trips to the beach, the theme parks, youth camps, and special concerts and events. We held DiscipleNow Weekends in homes where over one-hundred students paid to go "deep" in Bible study with guest leaders over a weekend. We held lock-ins (the absolute worst event ever devised for youth groups–designed to eradicate all sane adult volunteers in student ministry, IMHO) and concerts, game nights, competitions, movie nights, work days, matching T-shirts mission trips, and every other thing created by youth pastors in what I see now as the "golden age of big group youth ministry."

I planned these events. I enjoyed them. We saw thousands of teenagers over the years attend and many make life-changing, eternal decisions for Christ. 

These were good days.

But...there was always something missing. I could not put my finger on it at the time, but I knew we were just a degree or two off in our mission and our focus.

Perhaps it was the trickle-down effect of the church growth movement?

Perhaps it was the pressure to create the best youth experience in the city?

Perhaps it was always feeling the need to out-do the church down the street, or even worse, the youth event we held the previous month?

Hindsight is 20/20

I know young adults (and not as young as they think adults) now whom I was blessed to serve as youth pastor, who are walking with the Lord. They are serving him and his church. They are leading their own children well. Some are even serving in full-time ministry. There are many whom are considered co-laborers for the sake of the gospel.

Yet, there are many others who walked out of the church building after receiving the free book (they never read) and the "ConGRADulations" CD of Christian music when we recognized them as high school graduates. They seemingly left the version of faith they claimed to be true, impactful, life-changing, and important, back in the youth room, or in that dusty box of high school memories in their parents' attic.

I heard the very real issues and concerns shared by the group of teenagers I had the honor of meeting with last week. I think about the immensity of what they face. In many cases, their parents or guardians are feeling similar pressures. I know this is true because of the emails, texts, and direct messages I receive almost weekly from parents or guardians hoping I can give them practical, step-by-step answers for some of the most grueling issues their teenagers are facing. 

The answer is still Jesus. He always will be, but as these parents are recognizing, the very real and important need for growing as a disciple is not something that can be outsourced to a youth minister or a Sunday school teacher.

When I served as a youth pastor, I was satisfied living in my silo of youth ministry. I talked with and resourced parents as best I could, but ultimately, I was engaged with reaching teenagers. I would say that my intent was to reach them for Christ (and it was) but sometimes, it seems I was focused on reaching them for my youth ministry. Ultimately, we had hundreds of teenagers who joined a youth group, but never joined the church or God's family. Lost teenagers wearing Christian t-shirts was common.

This is changing as our church has moved to a model of student ministry (as well as preschool and children's) called Family Equipping (read more here.) The focus is less on the young person and more on equipping parents and guardians to be lead disciple-makers in their homes. Those who understand the value are praising this shift.

Others who simply long for their teenagers to be part of a large youth group so they can make great memories and do all the things their parents did a couple of decades earlier do not like this. Some have left our church. They have found other churches who provide the very same type of ministry that was so prevalent in the golden age. These are not bad churches. They are wonderful and God is using those ministries for his glory. It is just that they are functioning under a different model. I pray for them and their impact for the kingdom.

Since hindsight is 20/20, I now know that when our church functioned under such a model, we did a disservice to families and students. We settled for good, when God was calling us to better.

The bottom line is that teenagers who are struggling with their sexuality, their gender identity, the pressures to perform, the temptations to vape and other things, the stresses of family breakdowns, and the host of other things that end up on a whiteboard at a junior high school do not simply need the world's greatest pizza party, a sub-par event with dumbed-down inspirational "talks," matching t-shirts, or just someone to sit by in the church service.

They certainly need Jesus, but they also need a roadmap for next steps in their journey of life. Not only that, they need a guide to help them take those steps. Ideally, those guides are their parents. In some cases, they must be another (such as Paul became for Timothy.) 

It is essential that we equip believers well, for this generation and the ones to come.

May we never be guilty of outsourcing discipleship that is commissioned to us.

Oh, and by the way, I am not opposed to pizza parties, youth camps, mission trips, and DiscipleNow Weekends. I think these are all valid, good, and helpful. As for lock-ins though...they are of the devil, so no love for them.

What I Wish I Knew Earlier About Planting Churches & Sending Church Planters

Church planting is considered trendy by some.

Church planting is a term that has become used greatly in the past decade or so, but in truth is not new. In fact, it is how the gospel has spread throughout the world, from city to city, community to community, and family to family since the birth of the church in the book of Acts. Church planting is so much more than a trend. If it is a trend, it has been trending for two-thousand years.

I am thankful for the men I know who are now planting churches and supporting church plants throughout our nation and world. Intentional and strategic church planting in regions and areas where local expressions of church are needed continue to happen. Our goal as a church and mine as a pastor has been to help identify the men God has called to this amazing task, to equip them, enable them, and encourage them as they serve.

Church planting is not easy. It is exciting and it always looks great on video clips and promotional pieces, but the daily grind can be very difficult. Many of the planters and families we serve with have expressed those moments of isolation, feeling forgotten by their sending church, ignored by supporters, and wondering if they may have missed God's call.

That is why encouragement and continued support is needed.

Knowing Then What I Know Now

As a pastor of a legacy church (a nice term used to describe an old church) I have sought to help church planters, and call out men in our own church family to lead the way in this endeavor for the past decade or so. It has been a learning experience for me. The good news is that we have families serving on the field now, exactly where God desires them to be, in other cities, states, and even nations. They are truly on the front lines of gospel service as they have answered the call of God.

As I review our church's history of church planting and preparing church planters, it is clear that all who have surrendered to this call and continue to serve in this capacity were blessed by God greatly and serve well due to many factors, in spite of our help. In other words, we did not know what we did not know, but if we had it to do over again, we (as a church and leadership) would be more strategic and intentional for the sake of our planters. In many cases, as I review each, it is clear that we may have been so enamored with the concept of planting churches and campuses that we did not rightly pray for and prepare those God placed before us.

Sadly, we helped some step into planter positions who should never have done so (at least not as soon as they did.) As a Send Network Trainer, I now go through many weeks of teaching and study with local church planters that provide information and expose blind spots early on. This type of training was mostly unavailable or ignored in our past. Therefore, our campuses and plants suffered unnecessarily. 

Scott Ball, writing for the Malphurs Group lists "Ten Deadly Church Planting Mistakes" in a blog post. It is a hard read because I recognize a number of mistakes I have made in the past with our planters. 

The ten mistakes are:

1. Not going through assessment
2. Planting without a coach
3. Launching too quickly
4. Leading without a team
5. Launching too small
6. Relying too heavily on outside funding
7. Neglecting solid assimilation plans
8. Installing local governance too quickly
9. Waiting too long to implement a leadership pipeline
10. Neglecting the process of strategic planning.

These are delineated in the blog post here. Some of these seem basic, and they are. Yet, in the excitement and joy of planting something new, often a few of these items are left to the wayside, only to be discovered to be needed and important later. Sadly, often too late.

Church Planting Goals

It is important to have vision and clarity when it comes to planting a church, but it also must be understood that there are times when our vision for a new work will help launch a church, but not sustain. In other words, the vision may seem set in stone, but after a year or so of engaging a community, attempting to grow disciples, and be the church needed in a community, that vision may change. 

Anson McMahon, lead pastor of Emmaus Church near Atlanta shared his thoughts on church planting and truths discovered in the journey here. One point that resonates with me is that as a pastor I must remember that Jesus knows what he's doing even when I often do not. 

To be flexible as a church planter and pastor is an understatement. It is required because change is the only constant (well, other than God) in the journey.

What Feels Like a Failure May Be a Win

We all want to win. Winning means accomplishing the task at hand well and doing so better than others. It's about crossing that finish line first. Yet, in church planting, what we often see as failure may actually be a victory.

It is not a failure to admit the plan is not working.

It is not a failure to shift focus.

It is not a failure to move to another area of ministry.

It may feel like failure, but it does not have to be.

Every church has a shelf-life. While the gates of hell will not prevail on Christ's church, the local body of believers gathered as church may change or shift over time. In fact, as is the case in our city, many will find their season of service coming to an end. This has been true in America for decades. We have seen it throughout Europe for centuries. The church of Jesus Christ prevails, but sometimes, the season of service of a local body in a specific place comes to a close. This should not be so that ministry ceases, but so the next chapter of gospel-centered ministry may flourish. 

As Baptists we are well-equipped in starting things like programs, events, ministries, or even church plants. We often do not recognize well when a season has ended. That is why some churches continue to have varied ministries attempting to function that were perfectly designed to reach and minister to a population who no longer exists. Thus the church lives under the banner of "We've always done this" wondering why there are no longer any positive results.

Sometimes a church plant (or a campus plant) served its purpose and has impacted a community well. A healthy church plant will shift from "plant" status to "church" status and engage as an autonomous family of believers. Yet, sometimes this does not happen. There are numerous reasons. Sometime blame must be placed at the foot of leaders. Sometimes this is due to outside impacts that leaders have no control over (you know, like a pandemic or increased facility rental costs.) 

Regardless, the church and leaders must seek to learn from each experience. It is too easy to allow bitterness, negativity, and feelings of failure to grow. 

I have seen churches and planters ignore or avoid church planting assessment. In such instances, problems have arisen in leadership that could have been addressed prior to the launching. When these issues arise months after the launch, the damage may be so severe the entire plant ceases.

This grieves me. Especially because it is avoidable.

Did You Plant a Church Or Just a Service?

This is something that I fear often creeps into our journeys of church planting. If the church plant is intended to reach an unchurched community by engaging one-on-one in the neighborhood, offering Bible studies, relationships, worship encounters, and the fullness of church to an area void of such, it means more must be done than just relocating a group of faithful servants to a new facility.

In other words, if the church plant is little more than a worship service, you have not planted a church. You have just relocated a gathering of believers to a new building. That can be a great start, but it is not a church.

Tim Keller says it best (full article here) ...

You might be passionate about expositional preaching and having really good preaching, and so you want to start a church. But, if all you want is your own pulpit, that is a horrible reason to plant a church. There are plenty of other pulpits out there that you can go to, but don't plant a church just so you can have your own. Or if you're passionate about good liturgy or good music, don't plant a church in order to have that.  Instead, find a church that you can plug into and be a part of that because church planting is so much more than just having the desire or the ability to plan and to prepare for what makes a really good worship service. You are not an event planner; you're a church planter, and these are two very different things. Now, planning a good worship service is of course going to be a part of church planting, but for those of you who have just started church planting or are thinking about it, you are gonna be surprised by how little of your time is actually devoted to that.

If I knew then what I know now...

Like many churches who jumped on the latest iteration of church planting in recent years, we have enjoyed the journey. We have seen lives transformed. We have heard the gospel proclaimed by those who were more silent in their personal witness prior to the new work. We have seen righteous risks taken. We have seen communities changed and great, godly things have happened. 

It has been good.

Yet, we also acknowledge that there were times we ran too quickly, even ahead of our prayers and God-given vision and strategy. As a friend used to tell me "Good is the enemy of best" and we settled for good (with moments of great) but should have been wise enough to wait for best. 

The Future Is Bright

We still plant churches.

We still send church planters.

We hope to do this even more in our church in the coming years. In fact, we are praying to be the sending or supporting church for forty church planters by 2040. Some megachurches can do that in about six months. For us, it will take longer. This means we must do more than drop a few dollars in the mail to a planter every now and then. It will require more than sending a mission team to another city on occasion. It will require strategic prayer and planning to send, support, and sustain church plants in our city and beyond for the long-term. 

We are learning from our past. We are thankful for the lessons. We long to be wiser as we move forward. 

We are reminded that God has a mission. His mission has a church. We are that church. To God be the glory.

And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. - Matthew 16:18 ESV

The Pastor's Kid Responds to "The Pastor's Kid" and Other Stuff (Guest Post by Ashley O'Brien)

Ashley (Tarkington) O'Brien has read the book The Pastor's Kid:What It's Like and How to Help by Barnabas Piper and as a pastor's kid (my kid) she has written this review of, or rather a response to, his book. Yet, this is more than a book review, it is a wise discourse from one who grew up in the fishbowl known as the "pastor's family" and her perspective of how this impacted her view of God and the church. 

_________________

I recently read the book The Pastor’s Kid: What It's Like and How to Help by Barnabas Piper. Barnabas Piper is the son of Pastor John Piper, known by many as the 33-year pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, founder of Desiring God ministries, author of numerous books, speaker at Passion Conferences and more. I initially saw the book advertised on my social media pages (apparently my pages know the occupation of my father...that's scary.)

I was interested on Barnabas’ perspective as a pastor's kid (for obvious reasons) and what he had to say.  I enjoyed the book and could relate to Piper's stories and understood how some would struggle under the identity of their father's title. I could also see how some would be benefited by the role as well. I talked to my brother about our experiences growing up in a pastor's home, just to get his perspective. We grew up in the same God-honoring home, were active in the same church and ministries, had many of the same influences in the church, but as teenagers and adults diverged into the two most common and opposite stereotypes of a being a "Pastor’s Kid" or "PK."

This is not a picture of Ashley, but these look like church kids.

As my brother and I discussed points highlighted in the book, we concluded that our dad’s occupation and position as pastor of the church had little to do with how we were raised. What I mean is that we were not raised to be good PKs, but were raised to know the Lord, know about him, to love God, love people, love God's church, and become his disciples. We "grew up in church" as did many others, and were loved, taught, and prayed for by many in our church family. My brother and I concluded that none of those things would have changed if dad were not the pastor. In other words, we determined that our family simply was seeking to be authentic Christians and our upbringing was not any more Christian just because our dad stood on the stage and preached each Sunday. 

We agreed that due to dad’s position we were able to experience places and people that we would not have otherwise. So, we selfishly are thankful for that. Nevertheless, a negative aspect of being a PK would be the expectations placed on us by others. This is understandable, but a bit frustrating. Adults have expectations of children and teenagers, especially related to behavior. For any church kid, there are expectations and since the church is supposed to be family, there comes a collective expectation from "family" members and a heightened level of responsibility. 

Based on Piper's book, the concerns and issues experienced by a PK can actually be valid for any person who grew up with a church family. This is not a bad thing. It is just a reality. 

To the person who grew up in church and abandoned church upon entering adulthood, there are many reasons as to why that exit occurred. Statements like “That's my parent's faith. It's just not for me" or other similar reasons (excuses) are common.

Growing Up Is Inevitable

At some point, the church kid (not just the PK) grows up. It's unavoidable. The church kid has to graduate from the kids' ministry (or at least they should) and move up to the next level of age-graded ministry. Maybe this was the shift to the “cool” youth group (at least "cool" as it pertains to church youth groups.) In some churches this means gathering in a separate room designed by concerned adults seeking to create place where teenagers would feel welcome. Maybe it included the designated seats in big church where teenagers would sit together, rather than sitting with their parents. It is a rite of passage of sorts. Then comes the next step into "big" church–high school graduation. For the few who remain in the church, moving from the youth room with all the smoke machines, old couches, broken ping pong tables, loud praise music, pizzas, and games to the "boring big church" services is required. It is here that the music volume decreased, many people seemed disengaged, most didn't sing along with the music, and the music was not new or cutting edge (or at least it seemed the songs were strange versions of those performed by the youth band.) Church was now boring, it seemed. It was no longer fun. Gone was the weekly social hour where you could gather with friends during the middle of the week. No one was making you attend any longer. Friends moved away to college. Some stopped attending after receiving their free gift from the church during the high school graduation recognition. In fact, for many, that was the last time some former members of the youth group (at least some of them) were seen at church.  And you are tempted to walk away as well. Perhaps using the old excuse of “I am not being fed," but deep down knowing you just do not want to be fed what they are feeding you. You had rededicated your life to Christ many times, especially at youth camp, but now...church just isn't the same.

This isn't the biography of PKs only. There are many kids who grew up in the church who can relate because this is their story as well, whether they were a PK, a deacon's kid, a committee member's kid, or just a kid who went to church a lot.

We collectively nod our heads in agreement and think of all those fond memories of our childhood and teenage years. As adults, some of us become frustrated with the church. Some shop around for new churches, always seeking the newest experience (while actually being driven by an overwhelming sense of nostalgia resulting in a search for a Sunday experience that is basically an updated version of the youth worship at camps from years prior or the mid-week student gatherings of our high school years.)

Though I loved all the camps, mission trips, and pizza nights, I believe we may have unwittingly done a disservice over time. We created silos of ministry and rarely if ever integrated generationally. This led to an easy exit for active attenders upon high school graduation. Certainly, the individual has a choice. We cannot force anyone to remain in the church, but we must not put all the blame on the individual if the church as a whole never intentionally connected church family members beyond those of the same age or demographic. 

While Piper's book is focused mainly on his experiences as a pastor’s kid, it can easily relate to everyone who grew up as a church kid. 

Jeremy Noel is quoted in the book stating...

“Finding God was the greatest challenge. Being raised in an atmosphere where God was ministry, vocation and hobby makes it hard to be amazed by the gospel. Being raised where life is always about showing God to a group makes it hard to see God individually.”

At some point, the child has to own it. The now adult, former "church kid" must own their decisions and their relationship (or lack of relationship) with Christ and his church. Take responsibility. Noel's quote is real and reveals authentic challenges. It also explains why so many leave the church after high school. We can blame parents, teachers, and preachers…but, at the end of the day, when the now adult does not take ownership for his or her relationship with Christ, it falls on them. Children have to grow up. There is a needed graduation from the “fun” church and the “feed me” church that is built upon a consumer mentality.  

Barnabas Piper stated well...

“PKs (church kids) despite all these struggles cannot wallow in and bemoan them. Rather, we must own what responsibilities are ours; to honor Jesus, to honor our fathers and mothers, to love and support the church, and to go about our lives not as victims but as the redeemed. Grace is here for us all!” 

For the Pastors

To the pastors–love your children. Be willing to listen. Be a parent first, not always their pastor. Cheer for them at ball games (but remember who you represent so maybe don’t yell so much at the referee.) Don’t elevate your children in a way that they believe they are better than their church peers. They are surely the most important to you, but no one wants some little snot (sorry - I'm venting a bit) saying to his or her Bible study teacher “But don’t you know who my dad is?”

None of this may stir up issues for you or them initially, but it could be harmful in the long run. It can impact how your children view church and Christ. It will affect how they function as a teenager and adult when you are not there to tell them the right church answers or force them to be at church with you. Those outside the church do not care that their dad was a pastor (or they may have some unfair preconceived ideas about what that means.) Just remember that your children did not choose to be the child of a pastor or to be in the spotlight (even if it's just the spotlight of a local church.) They do not typically enjoy being illustrations in your sermon. Be sure to have a genuine conversation with your children about his or her decision to be a Christ follower. Do not doubt, of course, but understand that this decision could have been easily made due to the pressure and assumption that they should be a Christian simply because you are the pastor. Help your children make the decision to surrender to Christ as Lord their own, and not yours. Remember, God has no grandchildren. Be real with your children. If your child never sees you struggle or knows that you doubt at times, then they will feel as if they are not allowed to either. Allowing them to wrestle with their salvation or relationship with Christ and his church is healthy and all believers experience this. Offer up transparency and allow your children to ask you the hard questions so they may view their relationship with Christ and his church more real and their own. When their dad is supposed to be the “super-Christian” it is tough to be raw and real, especially when they feel they do not measure up.

For the PK

PKs–understand that your identity is not founded on what your father or mother do for a living. It is not what you excel at or how you look. As a child of God, your identity is solely found in Christ. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you will feel free from others expectations. Standing strong in Christ and his church and growing up to be a bold follower of Christ is truly what your Christian parents desire. God gave you the parents you were intended to have for a reason. So, appreciate them and love them, it is not easy being a pastor. It's not easy being a pastor's wife. And, we know, it's not easy being a pastor's kid either. But...who said this was supposed to be easy? That's just one reason we can rely on God and his grace. 

"The Gospel According to Satan" by Jared C. Wilson - Book Review

I'm slowly working through the stack of books in my home office that I intended to read during the COVID-19 quarantine. Let's just say that I struggle to find the time to read as much as I would like, even when it seems I should have more available time.

I recently completed Jared C. Wilson's latest book The Gospel According to Satan. Apparently, there are half a dozen books available with the same title on Amazon, covering a variety of subjects that could be considered Satan's gospel, so be careful when ordering your copy of the book. Get the one with the cover below and this subtitle "Eight Lies About God That Sound Like the Truth."

Wilson is an accomplished writer with numerous books focusing on the Christian life, church, theology, and more. Prior to the release of The Gospel According to Satan, our church staff read The Gospel-Driven Church together (a recommended read for any pastor or church leader.) This led to numerous healthy conversations regarding the focus of church ministries and the need to continue shifting away from the easy draw of "attractionalism" as a church marketing tool.

The title and cover of his latest book is intriguing. As one who grew up in the 1980s, this initially seemed like it could be a Ronnie James Dio song (or maybe a Stryper song for those in the church youth group?")

While the title could lead one to believe this is a deep dive into spiritual warfare or demonology, it is not as some would think. It is about the lies of the enemy. There are clearly points related to the demonic lies that permeate our world, but Wilson's book delves into what some may say is the subtlety that characterizes the one who first said to God's image-bearers "Did God really say...?"

Wilson states early that the writing of this book was spurred after the publication and popularity of William Paul Young's book Lies We Believe About God. I had almost forgotten about Young, most well-known as author of The Shack (not recommended by the way.) Young's faulty theology sounds like other heresies that have arisen throughout the centuries. As Tim Challies stated in his review of Young's book, "There is barely a chapter in the book that does not do damage to one or more precious doctrines. " (full review here on challies.com)

Thus, Wilson began putting together the outline that would eventually become The Gospel According to Satan. Wilson carefully deconstructs a number of well-known and oft-stated "truths" about life and God. These statements are not reserved for those outside the church, but have even crept into the current evangelical lexicon and when stated enough by those who claim to be children of God, eventually are believed by many to be true. 

The lies of the enemy began in Eden with the "Did God really say...?" question as mentioned prior, but also fall under the categorical accusation that "God is holding out on you." Wilson goes to these as the main plays in the enemy's playbook and and helps the reader see that the deception is so subtle that many well-meaning Christians find themselves doing just as Adam and Eve did by believing lies that that comprise this "gospel" according to Satan.

The chapters are titled as follow:

• LIE #1: God Just Wants You to Be Happy
• LIE #2: You Only Live Once
• LIE #3: You Need to Live Your Truth
• LIE #4: Your Feelings Are Reality
• LIE #5: Your Life Is What You Make It
• LIE #6: You Need to Let Go and Let God
• LIE #7: The Cross Is Not About Wrath
• LIE #8: God Helps Those Who Help Themselves

These lies likely sound familiar. The challenge is when you read one of these lies and think "What? I say that all the time. I'm not sure that's a lie." Thus...the need for the book. 

Wilson cuts no corners on relaying the depths of biblical theology and doctrinal soundness in refuting these lies. Yet, when reading his book it seems as if you're sitting across a table at a coffee shop discussing these things with the author. This ability by a writer is definitely a skill to be admired, and perhaps a gift. As Wilson dissects the aforementioned lies, there is no condescension offered to the reader. This is the loving invitation to see how that which is commonly believed by many actually stands at opposition to the true gospel.

Wilson's transparency regarding personal thoughts, challenges, and issues appear throughout the book. By the end of the book, you feel as if someone who loves the Lord dearly actually loves you as well (even if he never has met you) simply because you too are an image-bearer of God.

The lies are shared as life-or-death warnings, and truly they are. 

This book will be the next one our staff reads together. This time, it won't be a focus so much on the shifting away from a church ministry process, but a focus on the subtle shifts away from gospel truth that we all re susceptible to believe.

I highly recommend the book and am glad it was near the top of my stack of quarantine books.

"Reset" by David Murray - Book Review

Burnout.

It is a concept that most men, regardless of vocation, understand.

We have all heard the warnings. We have heard, and even likely repeated some of the statements related to pacing oneself better for health living.

• We know that we cannot continue "burning the candle at both ends." 
• No one wants "He worked too hard for things that don't really matter" on their tombstone.
• Climbing the ladder of success is fruitless when you realize years later the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.
• Success in life is not success when family is sacrificed.
• "I wish I knew then what I know now" is a tragic theme for one's life, especially when you really did know then what would have helped now.

All these and more are true statements that I have heard, read, repeated, and even used in teachings of men's conferences and Bible studies.

Like many men, I agree with these realities while I continue to push harder, faster, forward...falsely believing that these are great concepts, but not things that affect me.

Then, all the sudden, you have a few more years (decades) behind you and you realize that to have a maximum number of years ahead requires some wise readjustments, or as David Murray calls, a reset.

David Murray's book Reset was published by Crossway in 2017. It is one of those books I purchased  a year or so ago. I placed it on my shelf in my office and categorized it on Goodreads as "Want to Read." 

David Murray (PhD, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam) is professor of Old Testament and practical theology at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary. He is also a counselor, a regular speaker at conferences, and the author of Exploring the Bible. David is married to Shona.

When the COVID-19 pandemic began to change all our schedules, I went to my office at the church and gathered some books to bring home for some intentional pandemic reading. I have a stack of over twenty, but this book just stood out. I read the sub-title "Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture" and knew this was the time to slow down and check out Murray's book.

Have you ever read a book that seemed to be a bit too personal? I mean, it is as if the author is prying, going places you didn't expect? That's what soon was realized as I worked through Reset.

Repair Bays for Men

Murray takes the reader through a series of "repair bays" that bring to mind a garage not unlike those on the renovation television shows designed to take a beat up, classic car and return it to its former glory. The imagery works, for what man of a certain age does not long for the days when joints didn't ache, muscles weren't strained, hair was not grey (and actually was still attached to one's head,) and feeling "ten-feet tall and bullet-proof" were the norm?

This book is not some fluffy, surface-level, pop-psychological self-help guide. 

Murray goes to scripture to express and define ways that men often get off track, even when doing good or godly work. 

As Murray takes the reader through his repair bays, he writes not as one who looks down from the ivory tower simply giving opinions on how to live better, but as one who personally faced physical health issues related to stress and overwork as well as other man-made speed bumps. Therefore, his insight is from one who is on the journey as well, who has experienced the need and value of a reset and has helped other men do the same.

There are numerous passages and paragraphs that I highlighted in this book. Here are just a sampling of some that resonated with me:

Be cautious about seeking advice from someone who stands to lose if you need to slow down. (p. 44)

 

God put a special curse on men's work (Gen 3:17-19) to make sure that our idolizing of work would never fully satisfy. (p. 48)

 

(Regarding the need to rest and sleep well) What I do instead of sleep shines a spotlight on my idols, whether it be late-night football, surfing the internet, ministry success, or promotion. (p. 55)

 

Pastors seem to think that "Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work" (Ex 20:9-10) has an asterisk (*unless you're a pastor, in which case you must work seven days a week.) (p. 99)

 

Some men struggle to accept changes in their identities when they age, change jobs, experience ill health, or retire. (p. 120)

 

Remember, it's rarely one extra big thing but the addition of lots of little things that tends to overwhelm us, because it is much more difficult to say no to the little things. (p. 137)

 

The joy of the journey depends so much on who's riding with us. (p. 157)

These are just some of the clear statements that make this book a must-read for men, especially pastors. Yet, here is a warning–don't read this book just to complete another book. It is always a goal of mine to finish a book. In most cases, that is not a problem at all. I love to read and I love to complete a good book. Yet, in this case the intent of Reset is not just to be able to move the book from the "Want to Read" shelf on Goodreads to the "Read" shelf (though I did that.) The insight and steps needed to actually slow down, reset, and spend some needed time in the repair bays are vital.

I recommend Reset for my friends, pastors, and any men finding that they're running hard and fast, but fear they may be doing little more than running on fumes (i.e. burning out.) 

The book is available wherever you purchase books. The link for purchasing from the publisher, Crossway, is here. 

David and his wife Shona have also written the book Refresh: Embracing a Grace-Paced Life in a World of Endless Demands with women in our fast-paced culture in mind. It is available here.

"The Loneliness Solution" by Jack Eason - Book Review

"Loneliness is killing us, and we don't even realize it." (p. 6) 

This opening line in chapter one of Jack Eason's forthcoming book The Loneliness Solution not only draws in the reader but makes a bold declaration. Loneliness is a very real problem in the world. This seems strange since the living generations today are the most interconnected (and perhaps over-connected) generations in history. In an era where the word "friend" has become a verb to describe the act of confirming a connection on social media rather than simply a noun to describe another person whom is invited into a person's life in a close way, loneliness rages.

A few weeks ago, Jack sent me a pre-published copy of the book to read. I was honored to receive this from him and share a bit here of what he covers and why I recommend you get a copy.

Eason shares a story in the initial chapter of a fifty-four-year-old man was found dead in his home four months after his passing. Eventually, the smell from the apartment grew so pungent as the weather shifted from cool to warm, that neighbors starting taking notice. This man's remains were removed and a company was called in that specializes in cleaning the homes of those who are categorized as "lonely deaths." The fact that such a business segment exists startled me.

The research information that Eason provides is staggering, especially when it is revealed that younger adults (those categorized as Generation Z) are the loneliest generation alive. The loneliest generation is also the most interconnected generation in history.

It is true that one can be lonely in a crowd. Even if the crowd is virtual or only on social media.

Not Just "Them"

As the book unfolds, the categorizations of people groups merge when loneliness is clearly not something only young people, or senior adults face. It is a human issue and the heart of man and woman is susceptible to this great attack by the enemy of God. The enemy has attacked the image-bearers of God with subtle and strategic ways that cause many to believe they are okay and have many close friends. Yet, when the layers are peeled back, many of these same individuals find themselves in dark places socially and mentally as their concepts of friendship wane.

Loneliness is therefore, not just something "those people" face. All are potentially affected by the loneliness problem. There are many circumstances and situations that feed into this. Jack Eason delves into the depths of these issues well.

The Problem Has a Solution

As the book states in the title, and clearly lays out in the early chapters, loneliness is a problem. God stated as much in the story of creation.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

It is not good for man, or woman, to be alone. In the Genesis account, God provided a solution. Throughout scripture, he provides a solution to the loneliness problem. Even today, he provides the solution.

Jack Eason exposes why the most interconnected and over-connected generations in history self-identify as the most lonely. He doesn't leave it as simply a description of a state of being, but reveals God's solution. With engaging and relatable stories, Eason expresses God's desire that man or woman not be alone, and provides practical, biblical steps to remedy the issue. Each chapter concludes with a list of recommended action steps. This is more than a theoretical treatise, but a call to action in the community, and as revealed in the final chapters, even within the church.

I strongly recommend this book, especially during this season of isolation. I was sent the pre-release copy of the book (to be published by Revell in October 2020) and have completed the read, with many highlights and underlines. During this time of self-quarantine due to COVID-19 it was a welcome read. What I previously considered a normal, busy schedule has been shifted and slowed. This is true for all. It is during these days that many are, as the country song stated, "finding out who their friends are." The church must, and is proving to, rise up to reconnect with those who were perhaps over-connected, but not really connected. 

Loneliness is a problem. It is a deadly problem. Nevertheless, God has a solution. Be sure to order your copy of The Loneliness Solution today when it is published in October. In the meantime click here to be notified and to receive a FREE downloadable chapter from the book.

Why We Continue to Plant Churches & Partner with Church Planters

I am not a church planter. 

Most of you probably know that. 

I pastor what has been called by various entities an "established church," a "legacy church," an "historic church," and other things. Basically, I pastor an older church. Our church was founded in 1921. I guess it was planted then, but no one was really using that term back in the 1920s. 

After decades of systematic growth featuring steps forward as well as steps backward, celebrations and crises, transitions and traditions, and all that a church of almost one-hundred years would face, we are a church that not only believes in church planting, but has taken steps to resource new pastors and church planters and help them find footing in the region they are planting. 

We don't really have to do this. I have discovered that many churches our age just do not bother with the church planting process that has been popular in western Christianity for the past decade or so. It is not that these other churches see no value in church planting (I hope) but that they just have never done so, never felt God's lead to emphasize it, have many other things requiring funding and decisions, etc. so that church planting is just not on their radar.

I'm not faulting the churches my brothers pastor, because I get it. 

It Seems Like a Trend

Church planting seems like a trend. Trends come and go. For some it seems like the latest "church growth strategy" that is just the next phase in a long history of starts and stops and programmatic church events, emphases, and functions.

Yet, for me, for our church and network of churches, something happened a number of years ago that helped us realize that church planting and supporting new work cannot be optional for a healthy church (and I am talking about a healthy established, legacy, or historic church like ours.)

You see, my natural tendency is to be self-focused, to look inward, and when deciding whether or not to do something, or to invest in something, I ask "How does this affect me?"

The local church is like that as well. Church planting is touted by many as right, needed, and necessary (I have said that) but for most churches, it is very difficult to come to grips with the reality that to support a church planter means initial loss. There's really no way around this.

Let's just say you are the pastor or a leader at a healthy, established church. You aren't perfect. Your church isn't either, but it's a good church.

A man in your church, perhaps a small group leader, elder, or deacon comes to you and shares with the church family that he and his wife feel God's leading to leave the fellowship and plant a new church. In this scenario, let's say that the new church is in the same region, maybe in the same community.

It is clear to you that this brother is not seeking to leave your church because he is upset. He is humble. He is godly. He does not have a negative or unbiblical agenda. He is not telling others (or even thinking) "I can do better than our pastor." He is not speaking badly about the style of worship, the translation of the Bible used, or the dress code expected at your church. In other words, he is sincerely seeking to follow God's lead and believes God desires him to plant a new church in the region. He comes to you for your blessing. You give it.

When he leaves, the practical losses will begin to add up. Likely, some who attend and tithe to the church you pastor will leave with him to support him, either for a short time or for the long haul. If your church decides to support and send him, you will be giving church members the "go ahead" to leave with him and you will likely send financial support as well, at least initially.

Not only has your church lost people who normally worship with you and serve at the church, you will be losing some money that previously was earmarked for other things. 

And...you have to find a new small group leader and perhaps others to step in to the roles he and his wife filled previously.

No wonder some churches push pause when being encouraged to plant churches and support planters.

And, I'm giving an example of a great experience.

When our church began to seek God's will regarding church planting, we did not know exactly what that would entail. Our mission board was shifting to send people to key urban areas in North America. I connected with a few leaders in such cities and began to see that there was much work to be done for the Kingdom in our nation. The concept of the Bible Belt was a façade and I knew it, but these connections affirmed it.

Then, one of our deacons and his wife (who served on our church staff) shared that God was leading them to go serve in one of these cities as support for church planters. We had talked about it earlier and I knew this was potentially something God was doing in their lives. Sure enough, a few years back they relocated to Toronto where they serve Toronto Church Planting and a network of planters in the North American Mission Board. While we haven't had anyone else uproot to move there with them, we do have a number of church members who have visited and give regularly, in addition to budgeted funds, in support. 

This began a more intentional story for our church. Now, in addition to Toronto, we now support (we're not the only supporters and we can only do little for some) planters in Portland, Oregon, Washington, DC, Orlando, Florida, Leesburg, Florida, and soon in New York City. 

It costs. It costs time, resources, and people.

We Cannot Afford to Plant Churches

Though we have been immensely blessed by God, and as of December 31, 2019 we are debt-free for the first time in over forty years, the facts are that we cannot afford to plant churches. We have a pastoral staff to pay. We have administrative support and maintenance and custodial staff to pay. We have a facility requiring thousands of dollars of decades of deferred maintenance. We have unexpected expenses. We live in Florida, so a storm, flooding, trees down, etc. are often an annual possibility. We've been fortunate and blessed thus far.

We have ministry expenses and some things that church members see as expected that still cost money. We have a revitalization church we are supporting and two campuses that have expenses, rent, and other costs.

On paper...we really cannot afford to plant churches and support church planters.

We Cannot Afford NOT to Plant Churches

But here it is. While on paper it seems a big stretch to be all in on church planting and revitalization, the fact is we must do this. We know that all churches have a shelf-life. Ours is almost one-hundred years old and while I desire that it remains for centuries in the future, I have no guarantee of that. I do know we can leave a legacy for God's kingdom that will last when we are gone.

Years ago Dr. Jeff Farmer wrote his dissertation on church planting and the impact it has on the sending church. He compared seventy-five churches who were planting other churches with seventy-five who were not. The churches were of all sizes so the clear distinction was simply the planting aspect. His research found that churches that plant are healthier than those who do not. (Read "5 Reasons Established Churches Should Plant Churches" by Ed Stetzer)

I believe it is because planting forces the sending to church to look outside the walls more. When the focus is less about growing "my church" and about seeing God's church and his kingdom grow, it just makes sense to plant. 

I believe that new churches reach more people quickly.

I believe the gospel needs to go where the people are.

I believe that church plants churches and new pastors are called, commissioned, and ordained by the local church for God's glory.

I believe denominational agencies and mission boards can help fund and resource church planters, but I do not believe they are the primary resources. Churches plant churches.

I believe multiplication is better than addition.

I am convinced our church was planted here in 1921 to meet a clear need. There was no Baptist church in our community at the time, thus our name - First Baptist Church. The need was seen. The calling was clear. The work was done. I have a sneaky feeling that those who actually started First Baptist Church couldn't afford to do so either, but they did. For that I am so thankful.

For our church, church planting and revitalization has become our DNA. It is one way we make disciples and multiply them. It is one way we fulfill the Great Commission. The reach of the gospel is extended. While we continue to have focus in our own community, with various ministries, campuses, partnerships, and services, we also have been given by God the opportunity to reach the world strategically and intentionally.

We are not a perfect church. We are not a mega-church. We are not a rich (financially) church. 

We are a blessed church and we seek to see God's Kingdom expanded. Therefore, I believe by planting new churches and funding planters as best we can (even sacrificially) we are an obedient church.

While I won't be here a century from now, I pray that the legacy our church leaves will be impactful for generations to come. That is one reason we plant. That is why I encourage your church to do so as well. Be warned, it is costly. 

But it is worth it.

7 Things the Church Planter You're Supporting Wants to Tell You

The expansion of churches and gospel ministries is an outgrowth of the Great Commission and in our nation today (and elsewhere) planting new churches in areas of increased population density where few, if any, gospel churches exist seems to be effective in reaching people well. 

Over the years, our church has partnered with planters in Portland, OR, Toronto, ON, Orlando, FL, Tucson, AZ, Washington, DC, Colorado Springs, CO, and more. 

I am currently in conversation with another young man who is planning to move with his wife and children to a densely populated metropolitan area next year. I get excited hearing about his call, his plans, and the anticipation of this new work.

There are numerous books, blogs, videos, and articles written with the church planter and his family in mind. These offer insights, growth and health strategies, and numerous other elements that are helpful and vital for new works. 

That's not what this post is about. I'm writing to the pastors and church leaders of established churches who are designated as sending or supporting churches. 

A number of years ago at one our denomination's national "Send Conferences" I was asked by one of our "Send City" teams to share in a breakout session with other pastors. I was asked to speak to them, pastor-to-pastor, and share some of the things we had talked about on a vision trip prior. Basically, I was asked to tell pastors things they wish they could, but fear would negatively impact their support.

You see, these planters are so very grateful for the support and sponsorship of legacy church pastors and churches, but sometimes the "help" offered is not the help needed...and they just cannot find a nice way to say it.

So I said it.

And, it bears repeating.

In no particular order, here are seven things your very appreciative church planter would like you to know (probably.)

1. Don't send your youth choir, puppet team, drama team, handbell team, sign language performance team, dance team, etc.

Okay, this is a pretty broad statement and there may be exceptions. One exception (and it may the only one) is if the church planter actually requests such team. For example, we know certain areas in Europe where choirs from America are welcomed and public performances are ways to celebrate the arts well. In this case, the choir may be a good thing (if the choir is a good choir.) However, most of our urban-area church planters have no such venue, opportunity, or place where a choir, drama team, etc. would be a benefit.

Just because your group has traditionally been received well in your church and community does not mean that in an unchurched community such would be welcomed or helpful. 

2. Don't arrive in the city with your "way to do church or ministry" expecting the planter to do it your way.

There is such a thing as contextual mission and for the planter embedded in the city, building relationships, and planting a church centered on the gospel for that region, the way to do ministry may be different than how the visiting team does church. In fact, it likely is. 

What works in a church with decades of history may be counter-productive in a new work. What works in rural Alabama likely will have to look differently in downtown Philadelphia. This is not a statement regarding the gospel, biblical truth, or doctrinal authenticity. This is related solely to how these elements come together for the church in the community God has planted it.

No one likes the expert who knows how to do everything ... but really doesn't.

3. Don't let another agenda overshadow God's.

For example, if your primarily politically conservative, MAGA-hat wearing church members arrive in the city center that is known to be politically liberal and not supportive of the same political party or political leaders, and the city’s residents first encounter with your team members leads them to believe you are promoting a political agenda (you can swap conservative and liberal depending on where you are from and going,) immediate barriers to gospel conversations will be raised and may impact future conversations. This is not to say that any Christian cannot have strongly held political beliefs (just about every person does.) However, the mission is bigger than convincing someone you have never met to vote the way you do.

Maybe it's not political. It may be as simple as not wearing a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt in New York? Sounds silly and kind of ridiculous. You can cheer for whomever you want, but if your church planter is connecting with a New York Giants fan-base in a specific region of the city, your blue star may just shut down a conversation it took him weeks to begin.

For southern, college football fans, it would be like wearing an Auburn shirt on a mission trip to Tuscaloosa. For our midwestern brothers and sisters, it would be akin to wearing a Wolverines sweatshirt in Columbus, Ohio. You see the problem?

How would you know what fits in this category? Talk to your church planter. Listen to him. He likely has figured out much of this already. Don't ignore his insight.

Keep the main thing the main thing.

4. Don't overpromise and underdeliver.

This is the one I am so tempted to do. I want to offer our planters EVERYTHING they need. I desire to do this, but I cannot offer them funds I do not have, resources that do not exist, or help that will not arrive. 

When a promise is made, the planter believes it to be true, as he should. Yet, so many churches have promised things that either just were impossible to fulfill, or due to supporting church dynamics, were simply pastoral desires and not church desires.

5. Don't expect me to plan your mission trip and be your tour guide.

Please don't be offended, but while these planters need your support, your teams, your finances, and prayers, remember that they live in the mission field. They are not tour guides (though they will often give you a tour of their city) and are not vacation planners (I know, you're on a mission trip, not a vacation.) 

Every city we visit has incredible sites and wonderful places to visit. Often, we will add a day of touring for our teams just so they can get a good feel for the city or region. In fact, when we go to Toronto, we'll take an extra day to visit Niagara Falls. When in Portland, we may go to Mount Hood. I see nothing wrong with any of that, but we must not expect the planter to create our agenda for touring on our "extra" day.

As for the work being done during the trip, that is a bit different. Groups or individuals who go to serve, do so at the behest of the planter. Therefore, he will have some things in mind where the help of other people is advantageous. 

Yet, in most cases, the work of the church is long-term. Therefore, no rally/crusade/event/etc. is likely to be planned by the planter for the visiting mission team to pull off. There are cases where this may happen, but most often...no. 

Our people visiting our planters go there to serve him, his spouse, and his family. Whatever they need, we are there to provide. At times, it may seem like we're not doing much, but the ministry of presence is valuable and viable. It counts. If your church needs a "report" of how many "souls were saved" from every trip, you may find yourself frustrated at the very healthy and helpful trip your church planter requested and provided.

6. Don't mess up what we've built.

No one desires to mess up another's ministry. Yet, there are times when a well-meaning mission team arrives in a church planter's city and the conversations at the coffee shop, the activities done, the "ministry" provided actually did more harm than good.

These planters are not just visiting the city for a season. They actually call this city home. It is home. They're building community. They're meeting their neighbors. They have friends. They have new brothers and sisters in Christ and many who they pray will be. They are on a long-term mission and sometimes (unintentionally) the short-term team can actually cause the process of ministry in the city to step backward, rather than forward.

Be careful and again...talk to your planter. Help him and his family serve his city in the name of Jesus Christ. Oh, and doing so may mean doing so in a voice not quite as loud as it is at home (we tend to be loud) and absent of Christianese and "Jesus clichés." Stereotypes of evangelicals and Baptists especially are real. Don't add fuel to them.

7. Don't forget us.

When a planter first goes on the field, it's nerve-wracking and exciting. There's fear and joy about a new work. The sending and supporting churches tend to have very intentional emphases for them initially. Then, it happens.

A few weeks or months into the plant, there's been no communication with the supporting churches. Friends at the former church are still friends, but only through Facebook now. The pages on the calendar have flipped and while life is moving ahead in the new, frighteningly exciting work, for those back home, the same has occurred. The urgency of the immediate takes over and...we forget.

We forget to contact our planters.

We forget to pray for them regularly.

We forget to let them know we love them and support them.

We may even forget to deposit that extra offering in their name that we promised we would (this is often from individuals, but can be from churches as well.)

Ministry is lonely and the support group of brothers and sisters that send out the planter and his wife often find the physical distance to lead to communicative distance. 

And the planter family feels so very alone.

The Three "P"s

Years ago I was sitting in a conference room with some of our North American Mission Board Send City planters and missionaries. We were brainstorming some ways to remember what is needed most from established churches for these planters.

I remember saying, it's simple - prayer, people, and provision.

I think another "P" has been added by some, but the fact remains that these families need to know that they are not lone rangers taking on a city alone. We must be together, but take a moment and think through the seven suggestions. Your support is vital, but wrong support is deadly.

Pray for your planters. Pray for them regularly. Pray specifically. 

Send people from your church, but only the right people in the right number doing the right things.

Give provision to your planter. Give what you promised. Provision = money! Support them in tangible ways. 

Vital Questions

• How can you know what to pray?
• How can you know who to send?
• How can you know what their financial and resource needs are?

Simple - ask them. A photograph on a prayer card is great, but more is needed. Talk to them, email them, give them permission to be honest. Then...get in on this great thing called church planting and stay faithful. The harvest will be reaped and you and your church will have played a vital role.

 

__________

Our church planters serve through the Send City initiative of the North American Mission Board (SBC.) This is not the only church planting strategy and the points shared above are likely useful regardless the sending agency.

How Did Your Church Die? Two Ways - Gradually, Then Suddenly.

In 1926 Ernest Hemingway published his novel The Sun Also Rises. As with many Hemingway books, this one became a best-seller and remains in print today. This character Mike Campbell was asked about his money troubles and responded with this oft-quoted answer. 

"How did you go bankrupt?"

"Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly." - Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

As a pastor of a legacy church (i.e. old church) in what was formerly called "The Bible Belt" of the southern United States, I have watched numerous churches in our region come face-to-face with closure or abandonment. Even some (most) larger legacy churches are having to make staffing and organizational decisions to ensure they have a future of ministry ahead of them in the city. While an historically large church may have millions of dollars worth of property and a long legacy of great work for the Lord in a region, the reality often hits as changing demographics and population shifts result in a downturn of attendance, giving, and impact. Some have stated how sad it is when this happens. I guess that's true, but this is no new story and should not surprise us. Just take a trip to Europe to visit some of the megachurches of history where great things for God were done years ago. It seems that just about all local churches have a shelf life. 

A Closed Church in Northern Wales

What is sad is when a local church and its members are surprised by reality and end up panicking, making unwise decisions, and positioning themselves to be little more than a footnote of Christian work in a region.

Church planting is part of our local church's DNA. Even before the term "planting" became popular, our church was focused on launching new "missions" and supporting other churches in our area and throughout the world. This was set in motion long before I came to be pastor and I am thankful for this.

Yet, at the same time we focus on new work and church planting, the reality of local church closures and dying churches is upon us. I don't think we're planting at a rate to replace all the historic churches now faced with death. Thus, we see a focus now on church replanting and revitalization. We are seeking to see a movement of God that historically we have never seen. 

Yet, churches are dying. They're closing their doors. 

The quote from Hemmingway could be applied to churches as well.

"How did your church die?"

"Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly."

Church Planting Is Hard

Church planting is hard. It is hard on planters, their spouses, their children, and on the members who sign up to be part of a "launch team" only to discover that after about month of setting up and tearing down their portable church in their leased location, it just is not fun anymore. I pray for these planters regularly, believing they are truly on the frontlines of ministry and mission in our own communities. 

Church Replanting/Revitalization May Be Harder

As difficult as church planting is, I believe church replanting and revitalization is more difficult. In many cases, the replant/revitalization (I will use these terms together, but I do understand these are not the same) is akin to an adult child having to tell their senior adult parent they will no longer be allowed to drive their car (the one they paid for and have owned for years) and will be taking their keys and license away. That may be the best comparative illustration I have heard. For instance, in many cases, these older churches have decades of history. There is an era of growth likely when things were going well, people were joining the church, being baptized, and the community was being reached. Perhaps the church never hit "megachurch" status (megachurches are very rare) but the church was healthy...for a season. Yet, that chapter of history is closed. It is a great memory and the legacy is very real, but currently the church is barely hanging on. The membership is decidedly older, often comprised of only older people. There have been no baptisms for years. The community has changed so much that the neighbors do not look like the members of the church. While the property may be owned, the offerings are not enough to cover such things as pastoral salary, utilities, insurance, and lawn care expenses. 

The church is bankrupt. 

How did it happen?

Well, gradually at first, but then suddenly.

When the "suddenly" hits, the reality of what is to come becomes clear. It is sad. It is tragic. 

It Doesn't Have To Be This Way

This is the reality of many local churches. In our city and region today, there are approximately forty churches that are in this category (that I know of.) Some realize it. They are taking steps to ensure a gospel witness remains.

We have seen some incredible stories in our network. One church gifted its property to another that was newer, growing, and ethnically different (from the current church, but the same as the community where the building is located.) Another church deeded its property to our network and that facility has been given over to another new, growing church comprised of immigrants and refugees who have relocated to our city. It's thriving now. Still others have partnered with larger legacy churches. In these cases, we are seeing the larger churches bring the older, smaller one under its wings, providing financial support, pastoral leadership, and numerous resources for the purpose of replanting and relaunching the church in the same facility for future decades of ministry.

Tragically, there are many who remain in their state of bankruptcy, closer to dying today than ever. Sadly, I fear that some will end up selling their property, liquidating their assets, and leave their legacy as little more than a historical footnote. This is not good. This is not godly.

I am praying that we will be as the men of Issachar (1 Chron 12:32) having the insight to know the times well and respond wisely. 

Regardless the size or location of your local church the fact that gradual, then sudden death could occur is a reality. Resting on one's laurels (or bank account, pastor's personality, history in a community, etc.) is not enough. It never has been. It cannot be. 

What is occurring in churches throughout our region and nation is not reserved for certain churches of certain demographical makeup in specific areas. Every church is susceptible. Every leader has blind spots. May we wise up and see what God is showing us. 

The Hope

I am hopeful. I know that some churches will close. I know that others will begin. This life-cycle is real and we can continue to celebrate the wondrous things God has done through his local expressions of church throughout our communities. Yet, premature closure is little more than the enemy's attack on God and a small victory. Small, but deadly. I hate seeing a region lose a center for gospel witness. I hate seeing a region left abandoned (not by God, but by his people.) Therefore, we must pray more, serve well, stop living as if other local churches are the enemy, and come together for God's glory. Many are doing so. That's why I have such hope.

This is difficult. But, if it were easy, anyone could do it. Our joy in the Lord gives us strength. Replanting and revitalization is working, but not due to the creativity and ingenuity of those with "new ideas" on how to do church, but because God is empowering his people, living faithfully, for his glory to be the instruments of bringing life to that which was previously dead, or dying. This is God at work. He alone gets the glory, but oh, we get to bask in his glory and this is for our good.

Press on church planter, replanter, and revitalizer. For the pastor of the legacy church who is now experiencing the best chapter in your history, be wise and be aware. Perhaps you are meant to strengthen the replanter or come alongside the dying church to offer support and leadership for a new work?

Let's not leave this task left undone.

What's the worst that can happen? Well...what happens if you choose to let your senior adult parent who cannot see well and is a danger to himself and others continue to drive? 

I believe that revitalized churches will be reawakened in much the same way they began to die, at least in this case.

"How did your church get revitalized?"

"Two ways. Gradually, then suddenly."

When Jesus Said "No, You Cannot Come With Me."

This morning I met with our students at the local junior high to lead our weekly Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) meeting. We have a great group of seventh and eighth graders. Some are athletes, others are not. It's an FCA meeting, but students do not have to be athletes to attend. Truthfully, they don't have to be Christians either. In fact, they don't even have to want to fellowship. Nevertheless, we meet. After our welcome, and the weekly stuffing of our faces with Munchkins from Dunkin Donuts, we enter into our weekly study.

Today, I shared a story that has been a "go to" one for these meetings at different times over the years. It's intriguing, but familiar to most who have been in church. For those who have never been to church, it's a bit shocking - often resulting with "That's in the Bible?" questions.

The Naked Man in the Cemetery

The story is one found in three of the gospel accounts. In some places, it's referenced as one demon-possessed man found living in the cemetery. In another, it's two men. It's not contradictory. Read why here.

The story gets the attention of the students...well...because it's about a naked man who lives in a cemetery. That's crazy! Right? That's what the people in the nearby town thought. 

The passage I read this morning was from Luke's gospel - Luke 8:26-39. Click here for the verses.

A Summary

We don't have a long time together on Thursday mornings before school starts, so I shared the story quickly. These students always listen and interact well, but this time they were really drawn in to the strange story. Here is a brief summary:

• Jesus and his disciples get on a boat on the west side of the Sea of Galilee
• They begin their journey to the east side of the Sea.
• A storm comes up. Jesus calms it.
• They arrive on the west shore. 
• The disciples stay in the boat. Jesus gets out.
• There's a naked man in the cemetery on that shore.
• The naked man comes to Jesus, because the demons inside him know him. 
• The demons speak, questioning why Jesus was there. They were afraid.
• They ask if he would just send them into the herd of pigs nearby, rather than cast them into the abyss (apparently, they know how the Bible ends.)
• Jesus obliges and they enter the pigs.
• The pigs then run off the cliff and die.
• The herdsmen aren't happy. They're scared.
• They run into town and tell the townspeople.
• The townspeople come to the cemetery and see Jesus sitting with the formerly naked man (now clothed) and everything ... seems ... normal. This is shocking!
• The townspeople (Gentiles, by the way) are afraid and ask Jesus to leave.
• Apparently, the disciples are still in the boat.
• The healed, formerly naked demon-possessed man comes to Jesus and asks to go with Jesus.
• Jesus says, "No."

The man is instructed to go back to his people and tell them what Jesus had done. 

Shocking Moments

I asked the students what shocked them the most about the story. 

Of course, as is the case every single time I tell this, they were upset that the pigs had to die. 

Yep. Every time.

They thought it was unfair because the pig herders had lost their pigs. Seemed like a harsh thing. They asked "Why did Jesus kill the pigs?"

Interesting, because Jesus didn't kill the pigs, but just as many of us do, when things happen that seem unfair, we often blame God for the hardship.

Then, there's the naked man. That part was weird. How did Jesus know he was there? Why would a good Jewish rabbi go to an unclean land of the Gentiles, be near unclean animals (pigs) and hang out in an unclean cemetery? There's much here. 

Notice, that as far as we can tell, the good Jewish disciples didn't even get out of the boat. They weren't ready for this, but Jesus was preparing them. I wonder if Peter thought of this moment when he had the vision prior to meeting with Cornelius?

We talked about how this crazy, naked, demon-possessed man was not liked by the townspeople. He scared them. Likely, he angered them as well. Why? Because if he's in the cemetery, no one can come and pay respects to their dearly departed. There's no leaving flowers or spending time there to honor the dead. It was too risky.

But now everything has changed. 

Jesus shows up. Heals the man. Transforms him. He's a brand new man!

Rejection?

This is what shocked us most. This man, likely not wanted by his people, desired to go with Jesus. He asked. He was ready to get into the boat and become one of the inner crowd. 

Then, Jesus says "No."

What? This is the total opposite of every invitation at youth camp, revivals, and church services I have gone to most of my life. The pastor or evangelist always says "Jesus loves you. Come to him. He will never leave you. Come on down that aisle and make a decision to abandon everything for the sake of Christ." The message has been "Come see. Walk with Christ. Stay with him. He won't reject you." Then, there's this story.

It seems so out of place, out of character, and just wrong.

Jesus said "No!"

Of course, he gave him more instructions. He said: "Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you."

In other words, Jesus said "No, you can't come with me. You cannot get in the boat with the disciples. You need to go into the town. Go home to the people who have been afraid and embarrassed of you for years. Go back to those who made fun of you, avoided you, warned their children to stay away from you. Go back to a people who are from your own culture...but, don't really like you. Oh, and when you do, be sure to tell them all that I, a Jewish rabbi, Son of God, from the other side of the sea has done for you." (That's my paraphrase and definitely can be corrected.)

Oh. Okay.

Then Jesus got in his boat with the disciples and made their way back across the water, never to come to this place again, as far as we know.

It's a strange story, to say the least.

A mission movement in this Gentile region began, to come to fruition when Paul arrived years later. An unnamed man who formerly was possessed with a legion of demons was healed, transformed, and rescued. His seminary training lasted just the time it took for the herdsmen to get out of the region, go into town and bring all the residents back with them. He's then commissioned, ordained, and sent out as a missionary. 

And Jesus said "No." 

Photo credit: duncan on VisualHunt / CC BY-NC

What's the Point?

There is much to learn here. Some things I have thought of after reading this over and over, and by sharing it once more with a group of teenagers. These are just some of the points I believe are transferable to our lives...

• Not all followers of Jesus are at a point of accepting all other followers of Jesus, but eventually will be the longer they walk with him (I'm thinking of the disciples who apparently never exited the boat.)
• Sometimes we can miss the point by being distracted by other things going on around the main focus (i.e. worried about the dead pigs rather than focusing on the demon-possessed man.)
• Fear can trump faith. The townspeople were so frightened, they just asked Jesus to leave, rather than celebrate that their friend/relative/fellow townsperson was healed.
• Following Christ fully mat not look like what we desire (the man wanted to get in the boat, not be left in the cemetery.)
• Our personal testimonies, or stories of rescue by Christ are not about us, but ultimately about him. This is why we don't know the name of the one who seems by many to be the main character (the man in the cemetery.) Why? Because he's not the main character. Jesus is. He is in our stories as well.
• A "no" may hurt, but when God says "no" there is always a bigger "yes" behind it. Jesus saying "no" to the man was not a rejection, but an invitation. The "yes" was that many would come to Christ, or at least be open to hearing about Christ. The man, just like you and me, was not privy to all that would occur. Thankfully, he was obedient and remained. Oh, and as an aside, I don't think the disciples were quite ready to take this Gentile into their boat yet.

I love this story. I have heard it so many times throughout my life, but the more I look into it, the more I see. Students love talking about it. It's strange. It has so many odd elements in it - pigs, Jesus, naked man, cemetery, demons, angry business owners, a boat, etc.

We also talked about how so many of us can relate to the rescued man...and maybe sometimes to the disciples in the boat who just aren't ready to like others who are different...yet. 

It was a great morning.

I am, however, very cognizant that some of our junior high students may have gone home today and told their parents "Hey, we talked about a naked man at FCA today," and not explain any more than that. I'm waiting for the phone calls and emails. 

Hey Christian - Your Faith Is Showing (Expressing the Fruit of the Spirit Online)

Social media and a networked online presence for people is here to stay. This new instant media world has impacted much. Conversations are often conducted with misspelled and abbreviated words through texts, political statements and movements are no longer relegated to door-to-door "evangelistic" programs or even whisper campaigns in elevators. Verification of news authenticity is suffering due to the fact that information is shared immediately. When wrong information is shared, it's often not retracted. If retracted, it's rarely noticed. 

For the Christian, social media and an online presence can be a wonderful way to proclaim the gospel. However, it can also be a trap easily ensnaring the believer with deeply held convictions, leaving them searching for online echo chambers where community complaints can be affirmed.

For all the great potential (and no doubt, great and godly things have occurred through online conversations and communication) of an online presence for the glory of God, so too is the great opportunity to do harm.

Even those seeking to do right sometimes find that a tweet or post needs to be deleted (I'm guilty of that.) 

As I read through the Gospel of Matthew, I pause at this statement by Jesus...

Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. - Matthew 12:33 (ESV)

Well...amen! Right? I know this is true. You know this is true. I'm no tree-ologist, but I know that if a tree is good is should produce good fruit. Good fruit comes from good trees. Bad fruit comes from bad trees.

When it comes to good fruit, I'm drawn to what the Holy Spirit led Paul to write regarding the fruit of the Spirit (obviously good fruit.)

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. - Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV)

Social Media and the Fruit of the Spirit

One thing that social media has done is allow Christians (pastors, too) to have connections with church members and fellow believers. This is good, sometimes. At other times, it is grievous. Why? Because we see Christians posting, sharing, and opining on things in such a way that is little more than cringe-worthy (not to mention ungodly and harmful.)

Shocker! 

This has been true for all time, but especially in our current culture. Whether it's political divides, anger over chicken restaurants, promoted boycotts, generational divides, or even sports rivalries, it seems that some have revealed what we always have known to be true (but would rather not see confirmed.) Some see their Christianity reserved for the hour on Sunday morning, revealing little of the transformed, redeemed, authentic life of a Christ follower during the rest of the week, either in person or online.

What if we actually believed what Christ stated?

What if our actions were to reveal our faith?

It's not a works theology, but a faith that leads to godliness.

Before you tweet, post, share, or comment, consider the following:

LOVE - Is what you're about to post reveal the agape, unconditional, grace-filled, love of God? This is not a culturally defined love that affirms sin, but a biblical love that begins with the "Come and see..." rather than an attack or declaration of how much you dislike someone or something.

JOY - Is what you share something the can bring joy, even a smile to the face of one who reads it? Yes, it can be funny. It can be a meme. It's not a sin to laugh. Of course, it should not be laughter at the expense of others. Can the reading of your post be used to bring a sense of contentment in others?

PEACE - Are you posting things that divide or unite? Demean or lift up? "Blessed are the peacemakers" is what Jesus said. That's online, too.

PATIENCE - Be slow to speak, slow to tweet, slow to post, slow to comment. 

KINDNESS - Is your post mean? Do you use demeaning terms to describe an image-bearer of God who happens to disagree with you, represent the "other" political party, live a lifestyle you cannot affirm? You don't have to agree with everyone to be kind to and about them.

GOODNESS - Do your words encourage others to live like Christ? He is good. Our words should be too.

FAITHFULNESS - Are your words simply religious clichés? Seriously, just leave the "Let go and let God" phrases go and post things that are true, right, and revealing of your faithfulness in Christ. The clichés may not be wrong, but they're still clichés. So, are your postings designed to point people to Christ or to you?

GENTLENESS - Comment threads are not the place to declare one's frustration with everyone else. I'm a member of a few community pages on Facebook and rarely are there things shared there that are gentle and edifying. However, if I wish to read how some people cannot stand others who dare drive worse they they do, don't put their trash cans up on the correct day, or even dare to move into their neighborhood, I have plenty to read. Rare is the gentle word. Perhaps there is an issue to confront, but likely it's not best to do so online. 

SELF-CONTROL - And this is perhaps the biggest one. Before you post, tweet, respond, or comment ask yourself this question "Should I actually say this?" Based on the other fruit of the Spirit, does this need to be stated here, now, and in this way? Or...is it better to pray first, seek God's lead and maybe...just maybe...the wise thing to do is leave that post left unposted.

Hey Christian, Your Faith Is Showing

Your likes, posts, tweets, and comments reveal who you are. As followers of Christ, this means our online persona as well as our face-to-face interactions. This is not easy. It never has been. It's just that with the online realities of the day, our walk with the Lord has a bigger audience than ever.

You may not grow the kingdom of God online, but you certainly can hinder its growth. Be wise. Be fruitful. Produce good fruit.

Blaming the Monster We Created - Consumer Christianity in America

Pastors often find themselves meeting together at conferences, denominational events, or community gatherings. Once the typical small talk is over, and if they actually like and trust each other, many will begin to express what they feel regarding the seeming lack of commitment of church members nowadays. This is not new. It has been the reality for decades. Yet, like all generations, the present realities are the most pressing. 

I talked with a church planter recently and asked the open-ended and very dangerous question "How are things going at your church?"

He answered. It was a typical answer. It was not one that is reserved for church planters, but in the world of planting is very, very common. He said, "It ebbs and flows. Yesterday was good, but it is hard. It's hard keeping members engaged and focused."

Yep. It's hard. Not just for church plants, but for established churches as well. 

One of the most common targets for sad pastors is lamenting "consumer Christianity" that seems to be so prevalent today. In case you have never heard this term, here are some descriptors:

Characteristics of Consumer Christians (not a complete list):

• Self-focused
• Looks for ministry options in the church that solely benefit themselves and their family members
• Wants a children's program/youth program/choir/band/etc. that is large and attractive
• Loves programs that entertain
• Desires excellence in production of events and activities
• Wants to "be fed"
• Is an audience member, but not part of the congregation
• Has a list of what the church should do for them
• Sees church as a spiritual Target, Walmart, or Amazon, simply there to provide spiritual goods as desired
• A purchaser who never actually gives back
• Transient (brand-loyal for a while, but since church is a brand is eventually desirous of a new brand)
• A marketing agency's target
• Sees regular attendance as once a month...maybe
• Actively attends church, unless something else is happening in the community
• Does not serve
• Posts "Looking for a new church" online every now and then to see what else is being offered

The consumer model of church attender, or "Consumer Christianity" is rampant in our culture. Whether you live in the urban core, the suburbs, or even in rural areas, consumerism reigns. 

Consider these words by Skye Jethani, writing for Christianity Today:

When we approach Christianity as consumers rather than seeing it [our faith] as a comprehensive way of life, an interpretive set of beliefs and values, Christianity becomes just one more brand we consume along with Gap, Apple, and Starbucks to express identity. And the demotion of Jesus Christ from Lord to label means to live as a Christian no longer carries an expectation of obedience and good works, but rather the perpetual consumption of Christian merchandise and experiences.¹

Who's To Blame?

Consumer Christianity has existed in some form or fashion since the beginning of the church. People coming with less than holy motivations fill the buildings. The letters of Paul address some such instances. Yet, the current state of affairs in the world of celebrity pastors and spirituality sold as a commodity seems a bit out of hand. 

While pastors and church leaders lament the consumer nature of Christianity that results in tepid spirituality and a bevy of church shoppers, perhaps it is time to take a good, long look in the mirror. 

Like many pastors my age, I grew up in an era known for the church growth movement. Sadly, this led to the marketing of easy grace, the building of large facilities, and shifting of worship styles in order to reach seekers. The seeker sensitive, attractional model of ministry made headlines, created megachurches, and expanded the power of those at the pinnacle of movement. But...it also added to the creation of consumers, ultimately to the detriment of the church.

This is not to say that every megachurch, engaging church with a popular pastor/leader is wrong or "doing church" unbiblically. In fact, many are faithfully preaching, teaching, and leading. Nevertheless, the reality of consumer Christianity remains.

Who's to blame? We are. At least partially.

The seeker-sensitive model seemed logical at the time. "Let's look at the popular music of the day, strip down the religiosity of the service, and create a fun, exciting event each weekend so that lost people will want to come to church." At least that was the proposed reasoning.

Despite the seeming logic of it all, this passage of Scripture remains true...

As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one; no one understands; no one seeks for God. Romans 3:10-11 (ESV)

So, no one seeks God, but the church sought to believe that people were seekers, looking for God. 

Frankenstein's Church

We continued to build the monster, not unlike Dr. Frankenstein. The American church pieced together parts and ideas all with good and, I'd say godly, intentions. Church staff were added with the intent of reaching segments of society, whether it be youth, single adults, young professionals, etc. This is not much different than having separate areas in a department store for different ages. People are different, right? Those of different ages desire different things. We know this. Marketing proves this.  It seemed logical.

And it worked...to a degree.

Photo credit: twm1340 on VisualHunt / CC BY-SA

Crowds did gather. Groups did grow. The era of the huge youth group and ministry was strong. Para-church ministries increased their attendance as well, while many saying they were "for the church" but in practice were just competing with the local church. 

The evangelical church's Frankenstein's monster was roaming the countryside. New versions of church were launched. The old was abandoned as out of date and boring (to be honest, some were really out of date and boring.) New was in and consumers were sought.

Then, we got angry.

We blamed the church attenders and members for being what we built them to be. We became upset when the young family decided to try the new church with a larger children's program or event. We complained when church members started traveling with their children's travel team. We cried foul when numerous members purchased season passes to the local theme parks and began going to them every other weekend because that was their "escape" and their self-defined "family time." We wondered why offerings were down, seats were empty, and attendance sputtered.

But we should not have wondered.

We are a few generations into this model and it clearly works exactly as it was built.

Dr. Frankenstein's monster did exactly what it was built to do, even if the good doctor did not realize or wish to believe it.

Consumer Christians are always looking for the latest version of church. It's not unlike the marketing strategies of Apple when the release a new iPhone. The user's old iPhone still works, but the attraction of getting the latest is so strong that people wait in line just to spend a lot of money for the latest version. Then, in about a year, the "new" iPhone is an old iPhone and customers are now ready to throw it out (or give to their parents) and get an upgrade.

Sadly, some churches market the very same way to the consumers and wonder why there are consumers?

Now What Do We Do?

Well, the answer is not to turn our church services into stoic, gothic, 18th century gathering places. The gospel is not boring, so the church should not settle for boring services with no life. The answer is not to find the better model and shelve everything we're doing (though shelving some things is definitely a good idea.) The answer is not to falsely believe that the heyday of the church in America was the 1950s so we need to do what we did then. That won't work. We have too many churches today built to reach people in the 1950s. Those churches are dying.

What we must do is confess our sin and repent.

We must simply go back to the basics, realizing that lifelong discipleship and transformation of a person is not something that occurs because of a keen marketing campaign, a cool gathering spot, or a nice, new logo. None of those things are wrong. In fact, I like all those, but those are not life changing.

The gospel alone is the answer. Christ alone is the key. He is still the way, truth, and life. He is still the only way. When the local church pushes that message to the side and emphasizes all the extraneous, temporary things, no wonder we find ourselves a few decades later asking "What went wrong?"

While that monster is still roaming the countryside, I'm encouraged by what I am seeing and experiencing in our local church and among pastors and churches in our community. Sure, there are some still focused on being the latest version of church for local consumers, but by and large, most are abandoning the "Come look at us. We have a great, new version of this product you need" approach.

Jared Wilson's latest book The Gospel-Driven Church addresses this. He's not the only one speaking of this, but it is encouraging to see the conversation shift back to the gospel in such a way. Cam Hyde writes in his review of Wilson's book...

Wilson will argue throughout the book for a more gospel-driven approach rather than using any means necessary to get people through the doors of your church (an attractional method). He addresses the pitfalls of relying solely on being attractional and shows the biblical necessity of a gospel-driven approach while showing those in leadership how to steer their churches toward this change. 

We are learning that models come and go, but the gospel remains. The shiny, new, fancy attractional models will not last, and in most cases have proven to not sustain or create disciples. Since our commission as the church of Jesus Christ is to make disciples, not club members, we must confess our collective sin of relying on an attractional model and submit to the Spirit's lead that points to Christ and the good news of the gospel.

Consumer Christians remain. They're everywhere. It is very, very easy to slide into the model that seeks to "meet their needs wants" and build programs that do so. We must remain faithful to the Lord, be the church he has commissioned and called us to be, and remember that life-change only occurs through Christ. We must pray that the consumers in our midst surrender to Christ. Otherwise, they will remain weak in their faith, angry at their previous church, continually searching for the latest and greatest, all the while stagnant as a Christian, if a Christian at all.

^__________

                  ¹Skye Jethani, "From Lord to Label: How Consumerism Undermines Our Faith," Christianity Today, July 10, 2006, accessed September 30, 2019, https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2006/july-online-only/from-lord-to-label-how-consumerism-undermines-our-faith.html

"What Is A Girl Worth?" by Rachael Denhollander - Book Review

In 2016 after the IndyStar ran an exposé on USA Gymnastics (USAG) and how the organization turned a blind eye to sexual abuse perpetrated by coaches for years, a young woman in Louisville, Kentucky responded. She sent an email to the writer of the story stating that it was not just coaches, but one of the premier doctors for USAG who was also an abuser. When this email arrived at the IndyStar, it was soon answered by the reporter responsible for the story. It was at that moment Rachael Denhollander stepped out of private life and began the journey to become whom BBC News called "the five-star general in the army of survivors."

Rachael Denhollander, a wife, mother, attorney, former gymnast, and survivor of sexual abuse by Dr. Larry Nassar stepped into the public eye and became the voice for hundreds of women who had been victimized sexually. In many cases, these women felt they had no voice. Sadly, some felt they were to blame for that which was done to them.

The last few years have been a whirlwind for Denhollander, her family, and the other survivors. After a long, tedious, painful, and revealing journey of testimonies, interviews, and trial dates, the battle against a culture that often protects and enables abusers continues.

Yet, there has been victory–great victory. In January 2018, Larry Nassar was sentenced to prison for his crimes. The victory is that the voices of these victims survivors were eventually heard.

The battle continues because the reality of systematic, ignored, and enabled sexual abuse continues in our nation. It continues in organizations (businesses, schools, churches, etc.) where protecting the brand is more important than protecting people. It continues in states where laws designed to bring abusers to justice often do not have enough teeth to actually provide help for the abused. It continues in communities where subtle statements such as "Well, did you see what she was wearing?" and other heinous statements point the blame at the victims rather than the victimizers. It continues in a world where the depravity of sin remains and the only hope for true healing is through repentance and total surrender to Christ.

I was given a copies of Rachael's soon-to-be-released books for review.

Rachael Denhollander's books

How Much Is a Little Girl Worth?

One book is written for parents to read to their little girls. How Much Is a Little Girl Worth? is a beautifully illustrated (by Morgan Huff) storybook showing images alongside a poem written by Rachael. I haven't read books written for little girls in a very long time (my daughter is now in her mid-twenties) but as I read this I could clearly sense a mother's love for her daughter throughout. I shared this with the preschool and children's ministry leaders in our church and they stated that every parent of little girls should have this. It declares clear messages intended to be preemptive strikes against the enemy's attack on a girl's identity. The world is a dangerous and a girl's identity is often attacked early, and continually. This portion on page 23 is a great example of the focus...

Your value is found not in what you can do

Or the things you accomplish and win.

It is found in how you were made, precious girl–

Created and cherished by Him.

What Is a Girl Worth?

What Is a Girl Worth? is the autobiographical account by Denhollander giving insight into her upbringing in Michigan, her desire to become a gymnast, and her eventual meeting with Dr. Larry Nassar at his Michigan State University clinic following an injury. Rachael's writing is clear, and narrative. The reader is quickly brought into her world and can begin to see how she transitioned from an innocent young teenager just wanting to become a gymnast to a young woman who, by no desire of her own, had to become the voice of silenced ones who have suffered abuse. 

The reader gets a first-hand view of the fear, frustration, risks, and reality of life that Rachael and her husband Jacob faced. For those who followed the story once it became a media firestorm, there really is no spoiler. Just as those who watched the film "Titanic" knew the ship eventually sunk, the readers know that Larry Nassar was eventually convicted. Yet, while reading (even knowing the outcome) there is a sense of nervousness and a need to turn the page to get to the next portion just to see how the next phase of the account plays out.

It is almost as if you want to read the book as quickly as you can just so you can be assured that Nassar gets convicted. You know he does, but Rachael's writing makes her story personal for the reader and suddenly, even if you never have personally been victimized sexually, you begin to hurt with those who have and want their voices to be heard.

I believe Rachael begins her book with the very best opening line she could have. 

Why didn't you say something sooner? (p. 1)

In this age of #MeToo and #ChurchToo, I have heard many say similar things. Every accusatory statement made for those bold enough to speak about their victimization is referenced in Rachael's book. Suddenly, you discover how easily (maybe unknowingly) people accuse the accuser rather than believe the harmed. 

I have highlighted many portions of the book. There are numerous statements that stood out and made me think more clearly on the issue of sexual abuse and victimization. Here are just a few:

I couldn't choose what had happened, but I could choose how I responded. (p. 87)

Church wasn't safe. Nowhere was safe. (Related to how her Bible teacher chose to teach the David & Bathsheba story plus bringing up an abuse issue in her life that occurred in her church. p. 90)

I noticed that fellow Christians pretty much talked only about our need to understand the wrong things we'd done. No one talked about God's supposed hatred for the wrongs done against us. (p. 99)

Doing good didn't erase the bad. (p. 101)

I care about the survivors. I care about the church. I care about the integrity of the gospel. When we get this wrong, it does terrible damage. (p. 147)

The dynamics survivors have to navigate just to be heard are no-win situations. (p. 157)

"Little girls don't stay little forever. They grow into strong women that return to destroy your world." - Kyle Stephens, abused as a little girl by Larry Nassar while addressing him. (p. 298)

The book is filled with such nuggets of truth and clarity.

The phrase that Rachael puts in the book numerous times, as a reminder of her upbringing, her faith, and her resolve is "The more you love, the harder you fight." This is why she persevered and why she was called the "Five star general" of this army of survivors. 

This book is a systematic account of how God brought Rachael through her pain to be used by Him for His glory and the very good of many other women. It is also the story of how her own wounds found healing as God brought her husband Jacob into her life. I told my wife that the book is a combination of a legal thriller, a sports story, a battle between good and evil, with just a little Hallmark movie in the middle (Chapters 11 & 12).

Denhollander is a Christian and her book is replete with messages related to biblical truths such as sin, grace, forgiveness, true love, and justice. While Christians will connect well with these stories, even non-believers will be able to relate. In other words, while What Is A Girl Worth? is not a "Christian book" (I'm not sure books can become Christians) it is a book written by a Christian and since one's Christianity is not something that can be turned on or off, biblical truths resonate throughout. 

In addition to the pointed story regarding USAG and Larry Nassar, there is a subtext related to the Denhollanders church and how sexual abuse among God's children is often addressed wrongly. Sadly, this was their experience, but as stated in the final chapters, God has brought healing there as well.

I highly recommend Rachael Denhollander's books. For those with little girls, the storybook is a must buy. The autobiographical account in the adult book is for all who have been victimized, know someone who has, or is part of an organization or institution (church, team, business, etc.) that could easily be positioned to protect the "image" of the organization rather than the image-bearers of God within. It is a must read. It will challenge you. It will grieve you. Hopefully and prayerfully, it will be used as a catalyst for change so that other little girls don't find themselves taking the blame for horrendous acts perpetrated on them. 

How much is a girl worth? They are infinitely worthy. 

On Death and Why We Hate Using That Word

The longer one serves in pastoral ministry, the more funerals one attends. Depending on the average age of one's church, the number of funerals vary. Our church is almost one hundred years old and our membership is fully intergenerational. Therefore, I have attended and preached as more funerals than I ever thought I would as I was studying for pastoral ministry in seminary. In fact, I don't know anyone who begins their ministry with the thought "I can't wait to preach some funerals." While funeral services (and weddings for that matter) are not exactly biblical services, the fact is that for followers of Christ, these services should be God-glorifying and gospel-centered.

On Funerals

I have written prior on the things young pastors should learn from others regarding funerals. Practical insight related to helping the grieving, as well as planning and preparing the service are given in this article. CLICK HERE FOR THIS ARTICLE.

On Death

Pastor Mark Dever mentioned in a recent 9 Marks "Pastor's Talk" podcast some things he has learned regarding preaching funerals. His insights are valuable. I encourage you, especially if you're a pastor, to listen here.

One thing Dever mentioned that caused me to think more deeply about this very natural process of life is that it seems many do not want to use the term "die" or "death" when referring to the one being eulogized and remembered at the funeral. Even Christians tend to use euphemisms to describe the death of a loved one or friend, whether consciously or subconsciously, because death is seemingly so offensive. Culturally, death has been something to fear. It is a subject we just do not like talking about in public.

“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55 (ESV)

As Christians we quote the verse above, but sometimes we just act like it is not true. The victory and the sting of death causes many to not even use the word. So, we use euphemisms like...

• Passed away
• Passed on
• Dearly departed
• Demise
• Deceased
• Slipped away
• Moved on
• Lost his battle
• Entered into glory (not untrue, but sometimes used so we do not have to say "death")
• Kicked the bucket
• Graduated
• Is in a better place
• And many more...

Perhaps these words are comforting? Maybe they're just distracting. Is it sinful to use these terms? I don't believe so. I have used some. I get it. My question is, as Christians, why would we avoid so strongly the reality of death? In reality, Christians should be the last people on the planet to run from speaking on death. If our understanding of the gospel is clear and our world view is truly biblical, the reality of death should not be ignored. 

Photo credit: Bernie Durfee on Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-ND

In his excellent book Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope, author Matthew McCullough shares this point:

Death is no less universal now than it's ever been. Death is not a disease to be eliminated. It is the inevitable end of every human life. People don't die because medicine failed them. They die because they're human.¹

As followers of Christ, we know that "death is the destiny" of all, as Solomon stated. We know that death has no sting. We know that death only exists because of sin. We know death is natural in the sense that all die. We know this wasn't how it was in Eden.

We also know that Christ died. He really died. The cross execution was no myth. It was no unconscious experience. It was death. The heart stopped beating. The blood stopped flowing. The brain stopped sending impulses. The lungs stopped filling with oxygen. 

The grief of loved ones, especially his mother and dear disciples was very real. The quick funeral occurred. It surely seemed rushed, unfair, and wrong for Mary and the others. 

That reality must be understood. Jesus did not just "pass away" or "go home" or "graduate to heaven." He died. 

Jesus died because of sin. Just like you and I will die because of sin.

Yet, Jesus died because of the the sin of God's image-bearers. The sin that is our natural state. The sin that we all are born with. The sin that is our "pre-existing condition" from birth. 

Jesus died because sin requires it.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23 (ESV)

Every time a loved one dies we are reminded that this penalty is still in place. Yet, because of the fullness of the gospel, we are reminded that death's sting and victory has been removed for those in Christ. That's the joy of the resurrection. Christ did rise again and that encourages us to know that our loved ones who are in Christ and have surrendered to his lordship will too.

Funerals are difficult. We may have started calling them "celebrations of life" to make us feel better, but they only occur when there is a death. Acknowledging death's reality enables followers of Christ to find hope in the life-giver and in the gospel. It also should encourage us to speak truth to those who are far from God and have no hope. 

Death is appointed by God alone. Therefore, to take one's life or to take another's is not God's desire. May there be no question regarding this. 

Once death occurs, no carefully worded sermon can move a lost person being eulogized into heaven. So, pray, share, and have hope in the One who defeated death. Rest in Christ and in the truth of the gospel.

^__________

^{Brian McCullough, Remember Death: The Surprising Path to Living Hope (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2018), 38-39.}

Why "Family-Equipping Discipleship" Is Needed Now More Than Ever (And Is Better Than What We Grew Up With)

Our church has been making the long shift from a family-based or programmatic ministry model to a family-equipping model over the past few years. It is difficult to understand why for man, but here is another reason... 

 

From Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof's book Parenting Beyond Your Capacity. (We give this to every parent during parent dedication services.)

 

A dad was concerned as his daughter cooled toward the faith in her early teen years. She began to date a boy the dad described as "bad news," started to dress differently, and showed a general disdain for church. He confided to a pastor, "I just don't know what I am doing wrong! We have always been faithful at church, making it a priority. We've had her memorize the verses. We've sent her on the youth activities."

 

"What ministries is your family involved in?" replied the pastor. The father couldn't name any. "That might be your problem," said the pastor.

 

"The world is offering your daughter a more compelling story than you are. In the world she sees adventure and purpose. Here at church you have treated her as a receptacle of information."

 

The story goes on about how the father found a small orphanage in Central America that his family could adopt. It's a great story of living out the gospel, rather than simply gathering information about the gospel. It's also a good reminder that discipleship cannot be outsourced. It begins at home. 

____

 

This story is shared in J.D. Greear's book Gaining by Losing.

 

For more on the family-equipping model, read this previous post on the "One-Eared Mickey Mouse" here.

The Family Equipping Model is Right. It's Biblical. It Just Doesn't Market Well for the Church Consumer.

For the past three years, I have been preaching and teaching on a better way to connect with and reach families in our church than we have done in the past. It's a challenging subject, because we are a church that has been in the community for 98 years. Over those decades the community has changed dramatically, not to mention our church.

I have been at our church for twenty-five years. Initially, I served as the youth pastor. When our senior pastor retired, I was called to take on that role. That shift occurred almost fifteen years ago. Needless to say, I have been around a while. I have learned much and have discovered some things in my own ministry strategies that, if I could, I would do differently.

As a youth pastor, I inherited a great group of students. Each week we would have anywhere from 100 to 150 attending one or more of our events or services. Not unlike other churches at the time, I was building a structure around Sunday morning Bible study classes, Sunday evening classes, choirs, bands, and Wednesday evening worship services. In addition, I sought to ensure that no student was left without something to do weekly at or with the church. We were calendar heavy, as that was expected. This meant numerous mission trips, ski trips, beach trips, camps, DiscipleNow Weekends, lock-ins (the one youth ministry event I believe was created by Satan for the sole purpose of causing youth pastors to leave the ministry), concerts, conferences, and more. If LifeWay, Youth Specialties, Reach Out Youth Solutions, StudentLife, Baptist conventions, or any of a dozen or more youth ministry groups promoted an event, curriculum, or conference, we were in.

The Great Thing About Youth Ministry Then...

Our church was not unlike others. We hired a youth pastor (for that I was thankful) and parents and volunteers served in youth ministry. We loved God and teenagers and wanted as many students as possible to know Him and experience a great season of life through what could be a tumultuous time. It was about five years into our ministry that I began to regret some of the things we were doing as a ministry. Many of these things I inherited from and most were expected by the church leaders and especially parents. Yet, I knew that something was missing.

We had a number of students surrender their lives to Christ. This was and is great!

We had some who surrendered their lives to full-time ministry. This became a wonderful legacy.

We had a large youth group in a town with only a handful of churches and fewer schools compared to what we have today. We saw God do some incredible things, despite some very bad chapters in the story of our church and community.

The Regrets...

We were promoting the model known as the "One-Eared Mickey Mouse" that encouraged teenagers to join the youth group, but not the church. 

In truth, our youth ministry actually was functioning as a parachurch group. I have written about this issue here...

- WHEN YOUR YOUTH GROUP FUNCTIONS AS A PARACHURCH MINISTRY -

Students were active. They did much together. We had the required matching mission trip shirts, we took photos at Christian concerts, we attended camps, retreats, and a host of other things that made youth group great. The only problem was we primarily made youth group members and not disciples.

I cringe when I hear of youth pastors speaking of their former students. In many cases, it is a statement related to a by-gone day of youth ministry. Sometimes these former students remain faithful members of their local churches, raising and impacting the next generation for God. Yet, in far too many situations, these former students have graduated from church and faith and have no more spiritual legacy today than they did prior to moving the tassel on their mortar board from one side to another.

Once the youth ministry developed in this way, it was not long that others followed suit. We had other extended "ears" that grew over time. These were children's ministry, women's ministry, men's ministry, senior adult ministry, single adult ministry, music ministry, etc.

Once we began strategically removing the extended "Mickey Mouse ears," not by eliminating the ministries in question, but by ensuring they were within the church, not simply orbiting around it as a moon, we lost church attenders and members. Most of these (adults) were never active members of the church. They simply hid out in their chosen sub-ministry for years, under the leadership of volunteer or associate pastor. They would speak how they did not fit in with the church as a whole, and it was clear...they were never really part of the church with no covenant relationship with fellow members. They had settled for something less. Something God had not ordained. Something that could not replace the Bride of Christ.

It is sad, but I have talked with other pastors, and this is not unique to our local body. In fact, this is why so many people in the community have been members of numerous churches over the years.

While personal responsibility is required from those who abandon their faith family, the church (and pastors like me) need to acknowledge when our well-intentioned models of ministry have not fulfilled what Scripture requires. We have to confess that sometimes our ministries have been designed to simply draw a crowd for a season and not make disciples of Christ for eternity.

The Family-Equipping Model

Our church has been making the shift from an programmatic model (that which we have had for decades, built upon individualized ministries, separated from other ministries with adult leaders tasked with growing their groups) to a family-equipping model. This is no easy task.

The family-equipping model focuses as much or more on the parents/guardians of children and teenagers than it does on the young people themselves. 

The family-equipping church does more than just invite parents to specific ministry events. Every aspect of ministry with children or teenagers focuses upon training, involving or equipping parents as their respective children’s primary disciple-makers.¹ Opportunities for service traditionally held for the professional church leaders or ministry directors now strategically involved parents.

There is much to be said about equipping parents to be the lead disciple-makers for their children. In fact, I have said it in writing, in emails, in text messages, and from the pulpit on numerous occasions. The responses have been positive. This is because we all know this is correct. We all know this is right. We, parents and church leaders, know this is the biblical model (Deuteronomy 6 and elsewhere.) We know we cannot argue against the biblical reality that disciple-making of our children is the goal and that parents are the primary ones responsible for doing this. But...

It Is A Hard Sell

Why is it so difficult for churches to make this shift?

Why do families leave the church when they see what it truly means to disciple their own children?

Why, when we KNOW the One-Eared Mickey Mouse is wrong, do so many seek churches that not only have that, but perpetuate it in all other ministry groups as well (children's, music, senior adults, college, single adults, etc.)?

I believe it is because the family-equipping model is difficult. I believe it is because well-intentioned, busy parents are afraid of what this means for themselves and their children. 

I also believe that everything else in our culture focuses on the consumer mindset we all are susceptible to have. We want our kids in the best schools, to have the sweetest friends, to have the right haircuts, best clothes, latest shoes, to make the team (and if they don't we'll put them in another school or just live as a travel-ball, cheer, or dance parent), earn trophies, get trophies, be popular, have fun, experience big events, etc.

Just because you desire these things for your children does not make you a sinner. What makes you a sinner is the fact you're human (see Genesis 3).

Joining a church with a smaller youth ministry (or children's or whatever sub-ministry is the most attractional at the time) is not something most parents desire, especially if those parents are now in their thirties and have memories of ski trips, camps, D-Nows, and other big 90s and 2000s youth groups. For many parents, those were great memories and they desire their children to have the same, or better.

But, at what cost?

As I reflect and repent over the model of ministry I led and perpetuated, I am convinced that God is honored not by the gathering of big crowds so much as the growing of disciples. This is biblical truth.

While I would love for our church to have hundreds and hundreds of students gathered weekly in our facilities and extended campuses, I would much rather see us equip families biblically (and step in when family members cannot or will not) to see disciples made. That is a legacy the One-Eared Mickey Mouse does not offer.

_____________

¹Timothy Paul Jones, Family Ministry Field Guide: How Your Church Can Equip Parents to Make Disciples (Indianapolis: Wesleyan Publishing House, 2011), 166.

When Your Youth Group Functions As a Parachurch Ministry

Parachurch ministries have been common in American evangelicalism for decades. In most cases, these ministries have provided opportunities for mission involvement, evangelistic outreach, and domain engagement. The term "para" means to come alongside as healthy and beneficial parachurch groups come alongside the local church for the sake of gospel ministry.

As a Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) huddle leader at a local school, I see the value for many of these groups, but also the ease of a  parachurch group losing sight of the "para" concept. Of course, in my circumstance, I am not funded through donations or supporters as many parachurch missionaries are.

Recently, Sam Rainer, Micah Fries, and Josh King spoke of the local church and relationships with parachurch organizations on their Established Church podcast. Listen here.

But, this article is not about the good and bad of parachurch ministries. It is about those ministries within your local church that basically function as a parachurch ministry. This is not necessarily intentional, but it does happen. When this occurs, it ultimately is to the detriment of the church and the individual believers (or at least members of the group.)

Youth Group Experiences*

Last Wednesday we baptized two teenagers at our church. One of these students is a high school senior. We'll call him Andrew (not his real name.) Andrew had become active in our mid-week student worship service and faithful in attendance. The Lord had been drawing Andrew to himself and after a few weeks of wrestling with God's call, Andrew surrendered his life to Jesus Christ. The next (and first) step of obedience for Andrew was to be baptized. As a Baptist church we believe the biblical mode of baptism is immersion and that while it is not salvific, it is the right and obedient step for a believer. Since baptism is a public declaration, the Wednesday gathering for worship became the venue for the ordinance. 

Andrew had met with our student minister and talked through the details and the meaning of the baptism. His family members were in attendance to witness this, as were members of the church.

The second student baptized was a young lady. We'll call her Susie (again, not her real name.) Following the evening's service, she surrendered to God's calling, repented of her sin, and submitted to Jesus Christ as Lord. We counseled with her and baptism ended up being a "See, here is water! What prevents me from being baptized?" moment.

Her family joined us and before her new church family, Susie was baptized.

"You're not joining the youth group."

I met with Andrew prior to his baptism. I was congratulating him on his step of faith and gave him a new Bible to remember this moment and for his further study. As he was preparing to be baptized and become a member of our church, I said to Andrew, "You are joining the church, not the youth group."

He responded "Absolutely!" I was encouraged, but also realized that through this, over the years we have sometimes been satisfied for students to simply join the youth group apart from being covenant members of the body.

As I look back at photographs taken at youth trips in the past, mission outings, and events involving our students (most of whom are now in their 30s or older), I cannot help but notice how many were faithful and active for the years they were in junior high and high school, but were never engaged in the life of the church. In many cases, as students became adults, their church participation dwindled. They are no longer active in a local church and often only see their church experience as a great time they had as teenagers, much like other events that were experienced during the formative years.

Perhaps it was the "At least they're coming to youth group" mentality held by church leaders that promoted this as acceptable? As I sought to see as many teenagers as possible come to the Lord, I would invite them, encourage students to invite their friends, and unwisely promote the "Wednesday youth service" as the end-game. 

The Virtual Parachurch Ministry

Parachurch ministries have been assets to the Kingdom of God. Many have come to know Christ and grow in their faith through them. In fact, many people in our church are supporters and partners in such groups as the Gideons, YoungLife, FCA, Bible Study Fellowship, and more. 

Yet, none of these groups are the church. 

They know it and they do their best to ensure their members do as well. The healthy parachurch ministry comes alongside the local church, not seeking to be "in place" of the local church. This is not a problem. What is a problem is when those ministries within the church begin to function as virtual parachurch groups.

This is not only in youth ministry, but in any age-graded ministry or specialized group (i.e. women's ministry, men's ministry, senior adult ministry, choir, children's ministry, etc.) 

There are numerous signs that this is occurring. Sometimes, they are not noticed until it is too late. In my experience, these are just some of the indicators...

• People are encouraged to join the ministry rather than the church.
• Volunteers are committed to the leader of the ministry, or to the concept of the ministry, but are unengaged in the fellowship of the church body.
• In some cases, the ministries have separate websites, programming, logos, etc. that differentiate them from the church as a whole.
• There are "hangers on" in age-graded ministries. For example you may have a student in youth ministry that graduates out, but refuses to step into the "big" church, and would rather just hang out in the youth group. At times, it may be a calling, but in most cases, it is due to the fact that a student joined the youth group and not the church. The unwise leader then seeks to find a place of service for him/her to keep him/her engaged. (I've done this, so I know it's easy to fall into this trap.) I have never seen then end in the development of a healthy church member, maturing in the faith. And...if the "hanger-on" is now 30 and still in the youth group, it's more than just a little creepy.
• A family-equipping model of discipleship is not only difficult to build, but likely impossible to implement without major challenges.
• The church body views ministries as separate entities designed to gather people and in the cases of children and teenagers, to "keep them busy" but never view the attendees as part of the church. In other words the students may be "those teenagers" rather than "our students."
• In the age of segmented living (work life, church life, school life, etc.) the church is viewed more and more as a commodity designed to "meet my needs" or the family's desire. 

Why Is This a Problem?

I stated prior that "it ultimately is to the detriment of the church and the individual believers (or at least members of the group.)" when this occurs in the local church. But why? Why is it to the detriment of the church and members?

• Biblically, the church is ordained, called by God, and as the bride of Christ is his chosen instrument for bringing him glory and fulfilling the Great Commission and Great Commandment. There are no parachurch ministries in the Bible. This does not mean parachurch groups are wrong, necessarily, but does emphasize that only the church can fulfill the calling of the church.
• In other words, a parachurch ministry cannot biblically observe the ordinances of the church (baptism and the Lord's Supper.) This means that if a student is baptized in the youth worship service, it is not a youth ministry ordinance or observance, but a celebration of the church (just as it is at satellite campuses). This has to be clear and expressed plainly.
• The Lord's Supper is for the church, not something that should be done just for a sub-group gathered for Bible study. This is why we don't observe the Lord's Supper in small groups, at funerals, weddings, or retreats.
• Church discipline (Matthew 18) does not fit within the parachurch ministry. While there can be discipline of members in such and at times result in expulsion from such groups, it is not church discipline. Church discipline can only take place within a covenant relationship of the local body.
• Another problem is that when individuals are only committed to a specific ministry or even the leader of a ministry, when that ministry ends (and there are times when ministries need to cease) or the leader moves on or no longer leads, the members leave. We have seen this over the years far too often. Individuals who were regular attenders to church events, but never engaged in the church and rather hid stayed in their ministry of choice end up in the category of "Whatever happened to so-and-so?" 

After 30+ years in ministry, it is clearer now than ever for me. Church leaders lament that members leave their congregations or stop attending after graduation (either their own or their children's) or when a ministry ceases to meet. Yet, what often has happened, though unintentional, is that the church has propagated a subset of good ministries that function as independent entities within the church (virtual parachurch groups) rather than elevate and emphasize the value and biblical foundations of being the church.

So, when we tell folks to "be the church" they struggle because they have only ever been the youth group, children's ministry, men's breakfast, women's tea, senior adult group, etc. 

Be the church, but be part of the church first.

_____

*It is not just youth groups. Any ministry within the church is susceptible to becoming a "virtual parachurch" group.

Remaining Faithful When There Are No Victories

Our church staff (First Baptist Church of Orange Park) was invited to join the staff at a sister church in our community (Hibernia Baptist Church) today for a time of fellowship and to hear from Dr. Donald Whitney. Dr. Whitney spoke at the mid-week service at Hibernia on Wednesday and this morning spent some time sharing with pastors and ministry leaders. 

Dr. Donald Whitney is the Professor of Biblical Spirituality and Associate Dean of the School of Theology at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. 

I have a number of Dr. Whitney's books and have found his teachings, writings, and sermons to be powerful, faithful to the gospel, and helpful for me personally. Many in our church have read his book Family Worship and have been in a small group with me as we studied the material together. 

Dr. Donald Whitney - picture by Hibernia Baptist Church

As is the case whenever speaking to a large group, or even a smaller group as we were today, the speaker never really knows all the details regarding what is going on in the lives of the listener. As a Christian, and especially as a pastor, it is vital that one prepares and prays prior to speaking, trusting that God will use whatever is said in conjunction with his Word to impact listeners in needed ways.

At times, this may be convictional. At others, encouraging. In fact, it could be both.

I won't go over all that Dr. Whitney shared, but there are a few points that I wrote down and have reread a few times already today. Here are some quotes that have resonated with me...

"Perseverance is developed when your prayers aren't answered."

"The proof of your faith is not always in the glorious spiritual victories, but in the gift of perseverance when there is no success."

"Job is famous for his faith, not because he is ultimately rewarded for it at the end of the story, but because he just wouldn't quit during the difficulties."

"The Christian is like a bell. The harder it strikes, the louder it rings." - John Bunyan

"The more Christ persevered, the more the persecution came."

"How do you persevere? You remain faithful when it's hard."

"Sometimes in church life, and in pastoring especially, it takes more faith to stay than to leave."

"Hang in there, even when it's not seemingly working, as long as what you're doing is right."

Perseverance is not something often heralded in the modern and marketable versions of Christianity we see in America today. Perhaps consumerism has overtaken our ability to persevere. 

For pastors and church leaders, this word is vital. 

For Christians in all areas, remember that just because it seems that God is not answering your prayers...just because it appears that what you are desiring to occur, even for the right reasons, is not happening...God remains sovereign and faithful. 

Hang in there. Perseverance never occurs quickly. It always takes more time than we would desire. Yet, it's necessary. In fact, as Dr. Whitney stated today, "Because God's plan of sanctification involves building faith and perseverance, there will be areas in your life where you will have to persevere. It is not optional."

"It's All Your Fault" and the Host of Lies the Parent of the Prodigal Believes

The story of the prodigal son in Scripture (Luke 15) has been told over and over again for thousands of years. It is one of the most popular stories and is an incredible illustration of God's steadfast love and his patience. It is one in a listing of parables and stories about lost items being found. Therefore, it should be read along with the other stories (the parable of the lost sheep and the parable of the lost coin.) 

The story is wonderful in so many ways.

Yet, when you find that your personal story begins to parallel this biblical account in some aspects, you (well...I) tend to read it differently. I have to be careful here because I don't want to say that "I see myself in this story" because that's not the point of this or any biblical narrative. It's not about finding the character that most matches you or me. It is a story about and by God. He is the primary character, as he is throughout Scripture.

Nevertheless, human nature being what it is, I cannot help but do as many others have regarding the story of the prodigal.

Photo credit: Philerooski on Visual hunt / CC BY-NC-SA

In the church subculture that many of us have grown up within, a child is viewed as a blessing. This is a biblically-based construct and is true. Children are blessings. 

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3 (ESV)

Therefore, as Christians, when we first discover we are going to be parents, we seek to do our very best to live morally and faithfully, not just for ourselves, but for the little ones God has entrusted us to raise. This is not wrong. This is a holy calling and a right desire. In fact, this is one of the reasons our church is so focused on our family-equipping discipleship strategy. This is also the reason that churches historically have created Sunday schools, youth ministries, children's programming, etc. 

Wouldn't it be nice if we were guaranteed that our children would grow up to love the Lord, surrender to his calling, become faithful followers of his and be grand examples of a legacy of faith?

We do not get that promise as parents. We are afforded this proverb, and it should not be ignored or taken lightly. 

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)

The problem is that often as Christians we read that verse as a promise, rather than a proverb.

Then...if a prodigal story becomes a reality, a crisis of faith often results.

Perhaps the Most Difficult Part of the Prodigal Story

I know that many of you have read this story over and over. Yet, just a few days ago a portion of the story struck me as profound. I began to think about the father in the story and that moment which may have been most difficult for him.

Perhaps the most difficult portion is located somewhere between verses 13 and 14.

¹³ Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. ¹⁴ And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. Luke 15:13-14 (ESV)

It is in that moment when the son squandered everything given to him by his father, yet is not at the point of return.

At this point, the son has asked for his inheritance (i.e. his college tuition, the savings account created by his parents when he was a child, the car given to him at age 16, his own cell phone, wireless plan, clothes, and anything else that was agreed to be his) from dad and has left home. The story states that he took a journey into a far country. There's no need for more details than this in that we all know this means his new home is as far away from his original home as he could get. This is freedom, right?

While experiencing his newfound freedom, he squanders everything given to him by his father. He lives recklessly. He isn't going home yet, however. This may be due to pride or a continued desire to "be his own man." Things became even more harsh for the son. 

What About the Dad?

What is the father doing? Apparently, he is still living in the same house. He is waiting and watching, it seems, for his son to return. However, it appears that it was quite some time before the son came to the place where he would even consider a return. Spoiler alert: he does return. Read about it in Luke 15:11-32.

Now, I know this isn't part of the narrative, so please bear with me. 

For every parent of a prodigal, it is the waiting that proves to be so very difficult. The fear of what the child is doing can be debilitating. In the biblical world prior to social media, it was simply the imagination that created these possible stories. Nowadays, these fears are often affirmed due to postings and photographs that reveal what the Bible would categorize as debauchery. This pains the parent deeply, knowing that the present fun will not end well if the child continues down this path. 

In my own experience, as well as in conversations with many others who have gone through and are going through similar situations, there are some common thoughts that seem to pop up.

• "It's all my fault." For the Christian parent with a wayward child, the blaming is immense. Questions such as "What did I do wrong?" scream loudly in the mind. Thoughts like - "Surely, I messed up somewhere." "I should've made him go to youth camp." "We spent too much time traveling for sports on the weekend. This is our punishment." And many more. Every little misstep or "I should have..." comes to mind and many parents hold onto these (fair or not) to try to figure out where they messed up. There is this innate feeling that someone is to blame and it often starts with self.
• "Everyone is talking about my failure as a parent." Yes, this is often heard as well. I'm not going to pretend that good church-going people don't talk about others. It happens all too often. As posted earlier this week, stories such as this become "prayer request" fodder. I wonder if the father of the prodigal in the story had others in his community talking about how much of a failure he was because he lost this child to the world? Perhaps. Yet, they probably weren't praising him for his godly fathering prior to the exit of the prodigal or even the presumed faithfulness of the other brother. Nevertheless, whether someone is talking about the parent's failure or not is irrelevant. So often the Christian parent feels like they are. Why? Maybe because in the past they unwittingly blamed other parents for other wayward children. "Well, it's no wonder that kid ended up that way. Look at their parents." Statements like that said about others come back to haunt. 
• "What is he/she doing?" The desire to know is not based on a need to see every detail in the child's life, but on the fear of discovering what is actually happening. The father in the Luke account did not know exactly what was happening with his son, we presume. I have determined that likely is a good thing. Why? I don't know. Maybe because if he did, he would seek to rescue the son in his own strength. It wouldn't end well had he tried. So, from what we know the father just stayed home, faithfully working, living, raising his other son, and praying for the prodigal to return. He waited. He did not obsess.
• "Where is God in all this?" Even the most learned Christian comes to crisis of faith. For some the question leads to growing doubt, wondering if the promises of Scripture really are true. The valley moments are real and depressing and while we know that "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4 (ESV)" it just feels so lonely. At these moments, it feels that no amount of assurance from well-meaning Christians reminding us that this is just a "storm" and "God is faithful" and "God will see you through" and "He will bring your child home," etc. regardless how true is enough. Why? Because that blessing from God that was gifted to you years earlier, as an answer to prayer, who brought joy to your life and a smile to your face cannot come to mind at this juncture without your eyes filling up with tears and your doubts of a future skewed. It is not really hopeless, but it certainly feels that way.
• "I just can't." Can't what? Can't function? Can't talk to others? Can't bear seeing other parents with their children living out their happy lives? Can't look at pictures on social media where parents are bragging about how great their children are or celebrating their accomplishments? Yep. All that and more. The Enemy knows where the hurt is most severe. This may leave the parents, who prior may have been engaged in the community of faith, feeling as if they can no longer engage. It would be humiliating, painful, hurtful, and lead to more anger and frustration.

There are more thoughts that come up. Believe me, my wife and I have experienced these and more. I wonder if the father in the prodigal story did as well. Of course, I understand that this is a parable likely that does not reflect the story of an actual family. The father is representative of our heavenly Father. There is a teaching here regarding lostness and being found. I understand that. Yet, when you find yourself in a similar story, you cannot help but think this way.

In our church, over the past six years, my wife and I have had the pleasure (can you call it that?) of talking with and counseling many other parents who have also experienced a prodigal experience. For some, their story continues. They are older than us. Their children are closer to our age than the parents. It's encouraging to hear how they have persevered. At the same time, it is a bit discouraging to think that we may be closer to the beginning of our story than the resolution. Many others have come seeking advice, prayer, community. 

If I dared to start a small group for "Parents with Wounded Hearts" I fear we may not have a room large enough to hold the group.

I could promote it as "A broken pastor and his broken wife leading broken Christians through broken stories of broken relationships with broken children seeking wholeness and healing." That may be too long a title, but you get the point.

The pain of not knowing is almost as great as the pain of knowing. Sometimes it's greater.

Thankfully, the story in Scripture does resolve. I have no idea if our story or the myriad of others in our church and community of believers will resolve like the one in Luke. I wish I did know. Well, I think I wish I knew.

I have come to know that while this part of my ministry is not the one I desired (the ministry to other parents of prodigals) it is the one He has given. I have come to realize that God loves my children more than I do. That sounds easy when everything is going well. It is more difficult when the bottom seems to be falling out. It is no less true regardless of circumstances.

I have also come to realize that even in the questions (as listed above), the crises of faith, and confirmation of calling, God has remained faithful. Again, easy to say when you're on top of the mountain. Much more difficult to acknowledge in the valley. Nevertheless, I believe it to be true.

Lastly, I have come to know that religious clichés, ministry programs, shame-based Bible studies, and guilt-laden preaching^* are not of God and provide no help or healing. Yet, pure religion, biblical relationships, true worship in one-on-one settings and corporately, and gospel-centric preaching, Bible teaching, and study resonate with the holiness, godliness, grace, and goodness of God. 

With that, I watch and wait. 

Trusting God. 

Everyday.

I pray that you can do that as well.

_____________________

^*When I say "shame-based" and "guilt-laden" I am not referring to the clear, convictional, Holy Spirit-inspired and anointed teaching and preaching of the Gospel. For that, I offer no apologies. As a text-driven, expositional preacher, I believe in the inerrant Word of God and know that the cross is offensive. I believe we must preach the gospel at all times, and for heaven's sake, we MUST use words. It is just that sometimes, a tendency to create a listing of "dos and don'ts" that are ultimately legalistic Pharisaical add-ons to Scripture based on personal preferences and prejudices than God's Word have been propagated in the church, leaving the sincere, blood-bought, forgiven, God-honoring followers of Christ thinking that they must do more works to be loved and accepted by God. This is empty religion and is a false works-based gospel as dangerous as the prosperity gospel and others that masquerade as truth. 

Crises Will Come to Your Community. How Do You and Your Church Respond?

There are some things that God has brought to mind in our church over the past week. These are things not tied to programming or ministry events, but out of a response to a community crisis.

Photo credit: neil cummings on VisualHunt / CC BY-SA

You see, last week a story ran on our local news stations regarding a crime committed in the Mayport area of our city (Jacksonville, Florida.) A young man robbed an internet cafe, then escaped from the facility with police in pursuit. He ended up in a neighboring community where he was running through yards, jumping fences, and eventually found a back door open (the screen door was closed due to the nice weather) at a home where he entered, kidnapped the elderly man who lived there, then stole the resident's vehicle. A high-speed police chase developed with the suspect in the driver's seat and the elderly man in the backseat. At a speed in excess of 100 miles per hour, the driver ran over two police officers, leaving them in critical condition and after a PIT maneuver by a pursuing officer, the vehicle crashed, leaving the driver and the kidnapped victim gravely injured.

This is an amazingly terrible story and when I saw it on the news that day, I was shocked.

Later than afternoon I received a phone call from our campus minister at Oak Harbor Baptist Church (OHBC), Brian Hoffman. OHBC is a revitalization we are leading at a small, fifty-year-old church in the Mayport community. We have been working and partnering with this congregation for almost three years. Brian asked if I had seen the news and then told me that the gentleman who was kidnapped was Louis Reese, one of our deacons at the church who has been key to our ministry and revitalization efforts.

I was shocked and a flood of emotions came over me. I know that whenever a story like this hits the news that it represents real people in very real circumstances. However, like most people who read trending news stories or who actually watch local broadcasts, there are always other stories presented and the impact of the initial one often fades as commercials and others are shared.

In this case, it was clear that this story would not fade away for me. It would not disappear, at least from the minds of the OHBC church members, the neighbors and friends of Louis in his subdivision, or the officers and family members impacted. The family of the suspect would be viewing this news story closely as well.

Since last Wednesday when this occurred, we have held a prayer meeting, under the guidance of our campus minister, Brian. We have given interviews with numerous media outlets to get the word out regarding the prayer and the online giving option available where we are collecting funds for our church member and the two officers who were injured. Many in the community have joined us in this journey. We have sought to keep those informed of the latest updates as we asked for prayer for Louis and all involved.

Sadly, on Tuesday of this week (January 8) our brother and deacon Louis Reese died. His body was badly injured and after valiant work being done by the doctors and nurses of Memorial Hospital in Jacksonville, God brought Louis home. We are deeply grieved and yet, so very hopeful. We know where Louis is. He is in no pain. These are not simply religious sounding "funeral words" to help the living cope. These are truths based on the goodness and grace of God and of Louis's surrender to Christ as his Lord and Savior. It was Louis who stated his desire to see many in the Mayport community come to know the Lord as he himself had through the ministry of God's church at Oak Harbor Baptist. Though he never dreamed that these circumstances would possibly lead to that, we are confident that God's message of hope and salvation is being proclaimed through the life and legacy of Louis Reese.

As we now plan a funeral service for our loved one, we are reminded of his desire that Christ alone be honored. What a legacy! What a lesson for his church (OHBC) and His church throughout the world. 

What To Remember When Crisis Hits 

• Don't Waste Your Crisis - Years ago John Piper wrote a book titled Don't Waste Your Cancer. This was written as he was undergoing treatment for the disease and has been a helpful resource for many who have faced similar trials. In our case, we know that the tragic, evil, and seemingly random events of last week have impacted many in our city. Through these difficult times, God provides peace, hope, and help. To ignore this reality is to ignore an opportunity to live out one's faith and to let others see the hope we have in Christ. This is not easy and this is not an opportunity for the church to grandstand or take advantage of circumstances. It is, however, a time "such as this" when the church must firmly and clearly, even through grief, present the fullness of the gospel. 
• Your Church's Address Is Not An Accident - It was just a few years ago that OHBC was at a point of crisis regarding survival. After months of prayer and meetings with other churches and associational leaders, hard decisions were to be made. This is not uncommon among many of our smaller churches in America. The glory days of ministry are often gone and the realization of next steps often leads to either a revitalization or replanting effort, or sadly in some cases, the dissolution of the church and sale of property. OHBC is located in an area with great need. There are two large schools next door (an elementary and a middle school.) There are two large trailer parks nearby. There are numerous subdivisions of homes and a large number of duplexes and multi-housing facilities as well. The Navy base is just a few miles away. There is a large military and civil service population nearby. While there are other churches in the region, there is no church on the road where OHBC is within such close proximity to all these people. It is no accident that OHBC is located where it is - in the middle of a "field" where the "harvest is ready." Sometimes, we long for the people who used to live near us and in so doing, program and do ministry for a people group that no longer exists. OHBC is positioned to minister to many who now are living in fear due to the criminal activity that made the news, struggling to know what to do next, and have many questions related to faith, among other things. This is true for every church plant (even those who didn't get into the property they initially desired) and established church (even those who are placed in a community that has changed dramatically.) We must remember that we are where God has planted us, for his glory and the good of his church and the community surrounding it.
• Crises Will Come, Be Prepared to Respond - No one looks for a crisis moment. You shouldn't. Yet, they happen. In small towns, rural areas, and big cities there are moments when things occur that thrust the community out of its "regularly scheduled programming." This may be a storm, a tornado, a hurricane, or some other natural disaster. It may be a closing of a factory or a base leaving many fearful for their economic future and stability. It could be a crime, such as we have experienced. The fact is we live in a broken world. Sin has infected all of creation from the moment of Adam and Eve's betrayal to God and his commands. Yet, we do not live as those without hope. We do not believe God to be good only when everything in our lives is going according to our preferences and plans. We do not worship a God who performs for us. We lives surrendered to a God we do not deserve to know personally, but can through Jesus Christ. In the crises, we hold tight to this faith, showing and sharing with others that all else falls apart when the world is falling apart. Christ alone, our hope in crises. Our hope and salvation. The crises will test your theology. You can pass the test. That's God's desire.
• Have a Public Voice, But Be Clear and Hopeful - There are many religious people who have found the microphones over the years during moments of crisis. Some seek to bring attention to themselves. Here are my recommendations when giving interviews and speaking to the public at these times:
  
  • Have One Voice - Whether it is the Lead Pastor of your church or another designated spokesperson, have one person speak to the media from the church. This allows for clarity and a solid, concise message.
  • Share Hope - Crises are difficult, thus the name. There's a flood of responses and emotions that come from fear, anger, worry, etc. Don't minimize these. Address them. Share that you have them as well, but always be clear that hope is available and it is found in Christ. You don't have to preach a sermon, but a clear, focused, quick message of hope that comes from Christ is needed. Don't forget that.
  • Provide a Press Release - If possible, and the crisis is something where many are seeking an interview or a statement, provide a written press release that can be emailed or faxed (yes those still exist) to the news media and reporters. This allows the words to be thought through, clear, spelled correctly, with information on follow-up if need be. There is an acceptable format for such and it would be wise to use that. Click here for a good template and example (don't forget the hashtags at the bottom - that's protocol, not decoration.)
  • Stay On Target - When interviewing, especially with various outlets about a story, you need to realize that you will be talking to people who are doing their job and also competing with the others doing the same job in order to get the story, a different take on the story, or a unique perspective. Be careful to stay on target with the information you provide. If there are medical issues, don't respond to those questions. If there are legal issues, don't respond to those questions. If there are questions about the person's past or relatives, don't go there. These questions are common and will come. Be wise. Stay on the story of the moment. In our case, it was about praying for the health and recovery of our loved one and the officers injured. Remember, whatever is said will be aired, printed, and posted online. In most cases, you're speaking for the church, not the family, neighbors, etc. This is vital to remember. 
  • Don't Overstep - As stated in the above point, you are speaking for the church. Unless the family has designated you or your church's representative as their mouthpiece, do not speak for them. Don't post updates or events related to the crisis online (especially if it is related to a person, not a natural disaster, etc.) without approval of family members or those impacted. No one wants to learn the latest family update from an online post rather than from a family member.

We are continuing to journey through this crisis as a church family. We are hopeful and confident in Louis's eternal home and the legacy he leaves. Please join us in praying for his family as well as others who have been so greatly impacted by these events. May we be viewed by our Heavenly Father as a church that responded well, brought Him glory, and provided good to our world.